The dude was a big guy, 30s, heavyset, shaped like a flesh-colored snowman. He was white, bald with a shaggy beard, and he had a ring of oily red hair that connected his ears across the back. He was dressed all in black - a shapeless T shirt, baggy sweatpants & crocks - which made the dog shit stand out that much more. When I looked closer at his clothing, I noticed that he was also covered in dog hair. Between the hair, the shit, and the pantihose-stuffed-with-Crisco muscle tone, this guy was literally one of the ugliest men I've ever seen, and totally fodder for The People of Wal Mart site.
And I couldn't help but notice that he was buying lube...
Speaking as a man who's not in great shape himself, it's hard to look attractive once you get past 40. I've learned to soften the flab by hiding behind heavy starch, wide belts, and oversized shirts...and when I do wear a T-shirt by itself, it's always thick cotton. I don't dress up to go to the grocery store, but I also take a moment to pause in front of the mirror before leaving to make sure I don't look hideous. So far, I'd like to think I've succeeded.
I have a cat myself, so I know the efforts that must be taken to avoid leaving the house in a fur coat. My cat is ancient - I have photos of her on my biography page - and she reminds me of The Peanuts' "PigPen" because she's always surrounded by a cloud of hair. Josie (my cat) is 20 years old, and she occasionally leaves bonbons on the carpet, when she can't quite make the litterbox. I forgive her accidents because of age, but I also clean them up immediately…and never - I repeat, never - have encountered any shit that sticks to my clothing. But this guy did. And it was so wet, it smeared. And apparently it was so common an occurrence, he didn't even think to look at his clothes before leaving the house.
WHO LIVES LIKE THAT? Seriously, I want to know.
Sorry for talking about dog crap, but I really needed to vent.