TOP TEN LIST:
Things I learned while watching
National Geographic: Air Crash Investigation
2. Even if he asks nicely, never let the pilot's 13 year old son steer a $50,000,000 Airbus when flying over the Siberian Mountains.
3. If you hit a down draft at 500mph, anything not held in place by a seat belt becomes a projectile - and that includes your baby.
4. Water landings rarely end well. Neither do corkscrew nosedives.
5. When your pilot says, "It's a little foggy in Boise," what he's really saying is, "I can't see a fucking thing outside - and if any of my instruments fail, we're all going to be a red smear on the runway."
6. Speaking of fog, always wait for tower clearance before you take off in your 747 (in fog, fully loaded with passengers/fuel)...when there's another 747 on the same runway.
7. If every single goddamn instrument in the cockpit is screaming "TERRAIN! TERRAIN! TERRAIN!" it's in your best interest to listen.
8. Even if your pilot outranks you by thousands of hours, if he doesn't seem to notice that the horizon is now 90 degrees on the left, it's okay to tap him on the shoulder and say, "Errrrrrr...Captain?"
9. Despite what we've learned from watching James Bond films, most planes don't handle gunfire in the cabin very well.
10. Be nice to your flight attendants. You might want one last glass of $12 Gallo wine before the ocean comes pouring into the fuselage.