The one thing that I've never understood about the Noah myth is the whole "one boy, one girl" animal concept. If the ark is meant to repopulate the Earth, then doesn't having only two of each species mean that life will start with incest? Though I appreciate Noah's efforts, the whole premise of the ark is a recipe for birth defects and peeing in the gene pool. I mean, why bother saving all the animals when they're just going to end up looking like something from the lab of South Park's Dr. Alphonse Mephesto? Seriously, I had no idea that the Darwin Awards started so early.
Now, I know this might come as a shock to you, but I'm fairly certain that in the event of a Rapture, I'm going to be left behind. And it's because I ask too many questions, and have a hard time taking things seriously - particularly when people are panicking. Had I been on Cage's plane when the righteous disappeared, the first thing out of my mouth would have been, "God dammit. The Catholics were right." I then would have grabbed the drink cart as it rolled down the aisle (minus its stewardess who was wearing a gold crucifix only moments ago) and poured myself a stiff whiskey & Coke before starting with the questions: "Soooo...If we just hit another plane - and lost our elevators, vertical stabilizers, and half our fuel - then HOW the fuck are we still in the air? I watch Air Crash Investigation. I know that midair collisions rarely end well for either plane." I then would have banged on the cockpit door and demanded to know why Captain Steel was so calm. "Hey! Denzel Washington! Are you even awake right now?" Clearly, the Ghostrider had his own Big Gulp of vodka and OJ...but I just don't buy that NO ONE was available on the trans-Atlantic radio. I mean, if the Airport movies taught us anything, it's that most airline staff are just a bunch of godless heathens - and that was in the 70s. Somebody must have been monitoring the radio, at the very least, watching porn on another screen.
Sadly, it seems that Nick Cage won't be returning for Left Behind Two - in the same way the entire cast ran screaming from Atlas Shrugged II, and later, Atlas Shrugged Part III. Such a pity. I was really hoping to see Ben Sanderson land a Boeing 747 under the red flaming skies of Baghdad around the ninth or tenth LB book. But there are other actors available. Richard Thomas comes to mind immediately. Shatner is too old of course, but maybe one of the newer captains - like Patrick Stewart or Scott Bacula. Chuckling. I'm sure Hollywood will make the end of times fun, whoever ends up flying the plane.
Unless, of course, it turns out to be Travolta - which means the Scientologists were right all along.