Here are the top ten:
- 1. Was that new Darth Vader dude *trying* to sound like Frank the Bunny from Donny Darko?
- 2. Are you really telling me that NO ONE in the Empire/Rebellion could figure out the rest of Luke Skywalker's map? That's like having a map of Europe, but not knowing what the big Germany-shaped hole is.
- 3. Yeah, it was sad when Han Solo kicked...but not nearly as tragic as Larry Hagman's death.
- 4. Having read all Michio Kaku's books, the speed of light really isn't that fast...so, what's the big deal about The Millennium Falcon? Did its manufacturer only make X number of models with that particular shade of bong water interior? Did it come with Highway Hi-Fi?
- 5. Poe Dameron reminded me of a sweathog.
- 6. Carrie Fisher reminded me of a Vagina Monologue.
- 7. Annnnnd, how much did Mark Hamill get paid for this film?
- 8. Id have thought Chewbacca would have more grey hair.
- 9. So, you're telling me that NO ONE in the Republic noticed the great big, planet-sized cannon pointed their direction? No one posted an Instagram comment, an intergalactic FaceBook post...or sent a droid with a scratchy hologram? Are the First Order Zindi?
- 10. Speaking of the First Order, their NAZI rally would have made Walt proud..
It's amazing at how small the world has become, and how technology has allowed us to grow interconnected. We literally have a Star Wars communication system in our lives right now, and our devices & Internet allow instant action to every information. I was thinking about this a few hours ago, while watching live coverage of the burning Address Hotel in Dubai. The news channel's primary footage wasn't from a camera or hovering helicopter rather, it was coming from a MacBook on a neighboring balcony, where a reporter happened to be staying a few buildings away - Skyping. Here I was, sitting in my living room in the chilly Midwest, watching a raging fire that was happening that very moment, in a desert on the other side of the world. The video was so crisp, you could almost feel heat radiating from the TV - and not just from the fire, but from the desert...and later, the Burj Khalifa celebration. A million people were celebrating New Years Eve, while a 60 story hotel burned to the ground just behind them. It was...surreal.
Instant communication shows that we're at an turning point in history, a time where social growth has fallen behind technology. The world is fast dividing into the "change" camp and the "keep things the way they are" camp. Militant Islam has learned to use social media to rally its followers hundreds of years into the past. China & Russia are fighting to return to regional glories from last century...but with next-gen weapons systems that will deliver their intentions world wide. North Korea's poking the South. Iran's poking the Israelis. Trump's poking Hillary. Madonna's poking Lady Gaga. And though the US is pretending to be engaged, our approach is so soft, it's silly - allowing dangers to grow. I'm trying not to sound like a vague political blogger here, but watching New Years in Dubai really gave me a chill. It's only a matter of time before some idiot with a nuke does something stupid. And it's just as likely to be a dude in a dorm as it is an Muslim in a Mosque, with both manifestos smelling like feet, incense, and gunpowder.
I'll spare you all the usual fuzzy New Years wishes, in leu of just saying it's been an interesting year - and I'm sure 2016 is going to be intense. I hope that Jarod Fogle gets a nice cell mate, that Craig Strickland learned his lesson from Shain Gandee's behavior, that Disney formally endorses a presidential candidate, and that someone turns ISIS into a puddle of radioactive goo before they take out the Olive Garden.
See you next year.