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Now on sale:
The Saturday Night Everlasting
Inspired by True Events
A fast, fun, and fresh revenge comedy, set within the world of restaurant embezzlement.
Told in the spirit of (an angry) David Sedaris
"Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache - it's everywhere that you go...
You try everything you can to escape those bills and debts that you owe.
If all else fails and you long to be something better than you are today
I know a way you can make extra cash, it's called the Void Key, and it's all tax free, so -
C'mon VOID! Let your fingers make extra money, hey, hey, hey -
C'mon VOID! Let your fingers feel the cash flow..."
(From The Saturday Night Everlasting, Chapter Eleven)
You try everything you can to escape those bills and debts that you owe.
If all else fails and you long to be something better than you are today
I know a way you can make extra cash, it's called the Void Key, and it's all tax free, so -
C'mon VOID! Let your fingers make extra money, hey, hey, hey -
C'mon VOID! Let your fingers feel the cash flow..."
(From The Saturday Night Everlasting, Chapter Eleven)
Thirty years ago, Alan, Patrick, and Guinevere - "the Trio" - became the best of friends while stealing from Checker's Casual Cafe, the busiest restaurant in town. But the trio didn't just take money - what happened in 91' was no less than diabolical. Cicadas attacked customers, out-of-hand pranks collapsed the kitchen ceiling, and The Phantom of the Restaurant brought havoc to the dining room - all against a background of blaring 80s music. Sharon Donovan, the restaurant's general manager, was literally ready to kill someone when police were finally called.
Fifteen years later, Guinevere is mortally wounded in a horrific car accident. As Alan and Patrick rush to her side, her deathbed confession is chilling: "The worst thing about my depression is that it has a sense of humor." In her dying breath Gwen asks Alan to take care of Stephanie, her teenage daughter - "As you once took care of me, when we all worked together at Checker's." And as Steph brings back memories of the best time in his life, Alan makes a very bad decision ...
But karma is a bitch, and Patrick' arrest on returning to his Nevada home makes national news. His frantic cry for help sends Alan & Stephanie on a cross-country trip - where evidence reveals a disturbing connection between the Trio that began years before Checker's. It's eerie how current events mirror those from decades ago, and past-and-present stories play out side-by-side. Without Alan's help, Patrick will go to prison - but as Sharon Donovan learned the hard way, it's often those you trust the most who blindside you with their behaviors...
No matter how far you run, the past will always catch up with you -
And once it does, it will serve a dish best cold.
Fifteen years later, Guinevere is mortally wounded in a horrific car accident. As Alan and Patrick rush to her side, her deathbed confession is chilling: "The worst thing about my depression is that it has a sense of humor." In her dying breath Gwen asks Alan to take care of Stephanie, her teenage daughter - "As you once took care of me, when we all worked together at Checker's." And as Steph brings back memories of the best time in his life, Alan makes a very bad decision ...
But karma is a bitch, and Patrick' arrest on returning to his Nevada home makes national news. His frantic cry for help sends Alan & Stephanie on a cross-country trip - where evidence reveals a disturbing connection between the Trio that began years before Checker's. It's eerie how current events mirror those from decades ago, and past-and-present stories play out side-by-side. Without Alan's help, Patrick will go to prison - but as Sharon Donovan learned the hard way, it's often those you trust the most who blindside you with their behaviors...
No matter how far you run, the past will always catch up with you -
And once it does, it will serve a dish best cold.
Dave's Cartoons: The Fox And Friends Presidential Debate
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During 2016's heated political season, about the only news show I could stand to watch was Fox and Friends - a daily morning program that managed to avoid both election venom and liberal bias.
I drew this cartoon in conjunction with the three Presidential debates. Click on the above toolbar for additional cartoons. |
Click below to download a digital copy of this cartoon
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Dave's Blog Archive: 010/10/2018
" The Grossness of Space "
So, I recently learned of San Francisco's "filth" problem, caused by its massive homeless population. Apparently the city by the bay deals with bums in the streets, shit on the sidewalks, and used syringes that are sprinkled through downtown like a fresh coat of newly-fallen snow. The poop in particular is a massive issue as addicts/vagrants shoot up in the streets, then defecate on the closest slab of pavement. A local TV station found over 300 piles of human waste while walking the downtown thoroughfares. A subway escalator was forced to close when its gears became clogged - with feces - because homeless people would shit on the stairs, then watch it grind up at the bottom. Did you know that San Francisco spends 70 million dollars a year power washing piss, puke, and poop from its sidewalks/streets, only to have the issue return as soon as the cleanup crews go home? It's a disgusting problem, a failure of local leadership, and a literal shit-stain on the reputation of a city that's known for it's beauty. Kind of gives new meaning to that classic song: "I left my shart...in San Francisco..."
I mention this because it reminds me a little of what's been happening in the skies above us, as we begin our conquest of space. With our current technology, space is disgusting ... and the International Space Station is known to smell like a prison. We've all been desensitized by watching Hollywood movies, and even Ripley's Nostromo had a degree of sanitization. We imagine space travel is as clean as a Star Trek episode, with luxurious staterooms, carpet in the public hallways, and clean workstations like the movie Life. But space is really gross, with adult diapers, sweat that clings to the body, and air so filled with mucous, dead skin, and other unintentional human excretions that it looks like pollen in the air. It's basically like living on a WWII submarine, often referred to as a "stink ship." As Mad magazine used to say, "Yeccccchhhh!"
But despite San Francisco-style cleanliness, what's happening in space travel is really fucking cool. Musk & Branson are neck-in-neck in launching tourists into the sky, and China & Russia have picked up where NASA left off and are racing to the moon again - and beyond. The twenty-first century is the era that we'll finally leave our planet, and begin to explore the mysteries of the cosmos. I believe in ET's and that the universe is teaming with life, so this is an amazing period of discovery - and we're lucky to witness it. I also believe that we're on the verge of abandoning the internal combustion engine, and exploring new technologies far greater than just hybrid cars. And hopefully, in addition to Space X, Virgin, & NASA, "Dyson" will jump on the interstellar bandwagon and start cranking out air purifiers that will clean the spittle out of the air ...
I mention this because it reminds me a little of what's been happening in the skies above us, as we begin our conquest of space. With our current technology, space is disgusting ... and the International Space Station is known to smell like a prison. We've all been desensitized by watching Hollywood movies, and even Ripley's Nostromo had a degree of sanitization. We imagine space travel is as clean as a Star Trek episode, with luxurious staterooms, carpet in the public hallways, and clean workstations like the movie Life. But space is really gross, with adult diapers, sweat that clings to the body, and air so filled with mucous, dead skin, and other unintentional human excretions that it looks like pollen in the air. It's basically like living on a WWII submarine, often referred to as a "stink ship." As Mad magazine used to say, "Yeccccchhhh!"
But despite San Francisco-style cleanliness, what's happening in space travel is really fucking cool. Musk & Branson are neck-in-neck in launching tourists into the sky, and China & Russia have picked up where NASA left off and are racing to the moon again - and beyond. The twenty-first century is the era that we'll finally leave our planet, and begin to explore the mysteries of the cosmos. I believe in ET's and that the universe is teaming with life, so this is an amazing period of discovery - and we're lucky to witness it. I also believe that we're on the verge of abandoning the internal combustion engine, and exploring new technologies far greater than just hybrid cars. And hopefully, in addition to Space X, Virgin, & NASA, "Dyson" will jump on the interstellar bandwagon and start cranking out air purifiers that will clean the spittle out of the air ...
Dave's First Book: Goodbye to Beekman Place :
About
Goodbye to Beekman Place
A Novel of Murder, Mental Illness, and Denial
On a cold night in 1980, a young gay man is murdered in the old Beekman Place Hotel in Peoria, Illinois. The crime is brutal and sexual, and the killer left behind two clues that seem to have traveled through time: Coca Cola from 1902 – made with cocaine instead of caffeine - and Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Clove Cigarettes, a brand defunct since 1898. With no witness to the crime and no match to fingerprints, the murder remains unsolved.
Twenty-seven years later, Frankie Downs – a writer for OldPlaces Magazine – travels from Chicago to Peoria to research Beekman Place’s nefarious past. That evening, Downs hits it off with a young gay tenant and a consensual S&M encounter ensues. When Frankie leaves for Chicago in the wee hours, the boy is still alive. But the following morning, the young man is found dead, in the same style, at the same hotel, and with the same clues as 27 years before. Unfortunately for Downs, in addition to being a suspect today, his fingerprints also match the 1980 crime…but he is not the killer.
Detective Kellie Hogan knows that Beekman Place hides a dangerous secret. The hotel is the key to a growing series of murders within the gay leather community, and her investigation reveals an ominous connection that’s driving the actions of everyone around her.
But something is very wrong.
Kellie realizes that in order to stop the present day killer, she must journey deep into the hotel’s sordid past to reveal a secret that’s been hidden in plain sight from the moment Frankie Downs began to write his story.
And it all revolves around the search for a single missing man…
Twenty-seven years later, Frankie Downs – a writer for OldPlaces Magazine – travels from Chicago to Peoria to research Beekman Place’s nefarious past. That evening, Downs hits it off with a young gay tenant and a consensual S&M encounter ensues. When Frankie leaves for Chicago in the wee hours, the boy is still alive. But the following morning, the young man is found dead, in the same style, at the same hotel, and with the same clues as 27 years before. Unfortunately for Downs, in addition to being a suspect today, his fingerprints also match the 1980 crime…but he is not the killer.
Detective Kellie Hogan knows that Beekman Place hides a dangerous secret. The hotel is the key to a growing series of murders within the gay leather community, and her investigation reveals an ominous connection that’s driving the actions of everyone around her.
But something is very wrong.
Kellie realizes that in order to stop the present day killer, she must journey deep into the hotel’s sordid past to reveal a secret that’s been hidden in plain sight from the moment Frankie Downs began to write his story.
And it all revolves around the search for a single missing man…
Click Sample Chapters to read 100 pages of Goodbye to Beekman Place for FREE
Dave's Future Project :
When People Go Away A Sir Comes of Age Against the Background of Recovery, Grief ... and Murder |
Dave's Future Project :
On This Night of a Thousand Stars A Novel of Sex, Disclosure, and Finding our Place in the Universe. |
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Two days after an ugly DUI, Paul's world is rocked by the death of his father - and the struggle that unfolds within his grieving family. In the weeks that follow, Paul crumbles under the needs of an unraveling mother, the anger from his estranged sister, and the demands laid out by an unsympathetic court system. But unbeknownst to everyone, Paul hides the shame of what happened in the hours before getting behind the wheel. The police may have arrested him for drinking and driving, but they had no idea of the crime he was really running from. Or, more importantly, who he was running to...
Frankie is so similar to Paul, the two may as well be the same person. Both men are gay, mid-40s, participants in the leather community...and each has battled 20 years of alcoholism, with very different mindsets. When the two cross paths in a Chicago AA meeting, it seems nothing more than coincidence. As Paul shares his struggle to make things right with his family, Frankie offers his unwavering support - proving himself to be exactly who Paul needed to meet, at precisely the right moment. But Paul has grown so preoccupied with family, he fails to see how dangerous this new friendship has become. In the aftermath of rehab, Paul's fight for emotional sobriety comes in conflict with his former self. The red lights of the leather scene provide an unsettling background as he recognizes a predator in action - hunting online and in the city's dark corners, having hidden in plain sight for years. No one has died yet, Paul realizes - but it's only a matter of time. And to make matters worse, the only way to stop a murder is to face the crime he committed himself - a secret he swore to carry to his grave. The clock is ticking. |
Delirious and disheveled, Michael Davidson shows up at the door of Dr. Stephan Greerly, a world renowned UFOlogist - unaware he's carrying evidence of extraterrestrial life on his property, a thousand miles away. The two immediately return to Michael's home, where in addition to a seventy-year-old crash site - and an ET body in the freezer - they also discover a human corpse in the bedroom, and a case of involuntary BDSM manslaughter for which Michael is clearly guilty.
Seventy years earlier, at a desolate Antarctica military base as remote as a 1950s movie, a flying saucer crashes with cargo that proves the existence of alien life. But the retrieval goes horribly wrong, and before "the thing" nearly wipes out everyone, a decision is made whose affects won't be fully understood until present day when Davidson - discredited - is released from prison. Greerly is waiting for him outside the facility gates. And the two men need to act fast... As UFO sightings fill the news, a terrified nation huddles around its televisions. Humanity is given a glimpse of its true place in the universe, but Davidson and Greerly quickly realize what's happening is a "False Flag" event, staged for public consumption. For the first time in history, everyone looks UP at once - and realizes that we're not alone. And what we see next will rock us to our very core, forever changing the way we see ourselves ... and the way we live our lives, on earth. The world will never be the same. |