It was fun to discuss the film with Dane as the two of us watched together. Dane's a closet-philosopher, so we focused on Fever's *exquisite* use of symbolism, as the 2001 Odyssey's cloistered oasis of happiness played out against Bobby C literally CRYING for Tony's help. *Annette waiting outside the dancing studio for Tony w/condoms. *Robert Costanzo's hourly hardware store employees with 20 years tenure. *Tony Marino's iconic white suit, paired with an ugly facial scar, covered by a cheap bandage. *The hideous way that women were treated, and the fact it was expected. *Rape. *Abortion. *Intolerance. *...Lonliness. The nuances are magnificent. As a man who experiences the world through visual metaphor, the film's use of light was genuinely emotional to me, as The Bee Gees sang in harmony, against violent yellows, searing reds, and Electric Light Orchestra oranges. Gulp. The last time I'd seen the film, I thought Stephanie was "showing off" by talking about art, music, and Laurence Olivier - but I'd been totally wrong. Steph was actually trying to help Tony, trying to show him an escape, quietly attempting to escape her own fear by endeavoring to connect with someone who was exactly like...herself. (Standing to CLAP.) And then when you layer Tony's family dynamic, Jesus Christ! Watching Tony shout F-bombs in his Father's face (while his Mother prayed across the table) almost gave me, not chills, but h i v e s. I remember those conversations. My parents fighting across the kitchen table, while I fought back tears and my sister suffered in silence. Catholic guilt is disgusting. It took me 53 years to shed my own, and begin the life I've always wanted. The film, like When People Go Away, cuts to the soul by showing the tragedy of "lost potential," and, as we enter the Age of Aquarius, *lost potential* is the first issue we must address.
As I rapidly expand my social media presence (I'm joining Trump's "Truth Social" this week btw; I want to sent WPGA to Styxhexenhammer666), I've been testing the waters in new places. But the unofficial BN group is the "big one," as it contains ten-thousand people who will know exactly how groundbreaking what I've done really is. Within the literary world, creating a new Genre is as big a cure for cancer. Add a new narrative style on top of that, and you've cured the common cold - as well as solved the Middle East crisis, taken Kim's nukes away, and finally gotten the White House to admit that the cocaine found in Hunter's skivvies was meant for Biden's morning *Ensure,* in hopes he might stay awake for his next public appearance. But in just a six-hour period, not only was my post removed from the tiny forum, I'd learned I'd been permanently banned from the national Bookseller page. I stared at my computer with my mouth on the floor. A few minutes passed before the youngest of my alters - the most damaged one of all - tearfully asked:
"What just happened, Sir?"
Truth be told, this really wasn't a surprise. The Barnes and Noble Unauthorized Bookseller Breakroom Facebook page is known for its unabashedly-intolerant Moderators. They claim not to be biased of course, but what they mean by "unbiased" is the same unbias as CNN allowing Nancy Pelosi a solid 90 seconds (in a 3-minute prime time segment) to seethingly fat-shame Donald Trump on Cooper's show, a few years back. I actually got in trouble on the BN page, on the day following Trump's 2016 election. When I'd visited the forum that morning, I found it filled with scathing anti-Trump posts, clearly violating the room's rules on political debate. The posts were heinous. One Trans Woman even had the audacity to change her profile photo to all-black, because of the horror, the horror, the horror, of now having to live under a Republican administration, as Trump was no doubt going to stop gay marriage, lock all us leathermen into our basement dungeons, and hold down all the tranny's to sew their penises back on (which would be impossible of course, because their old dicks would be medical waste). I watched the room for hours. It was an anti-Trump free-for-all. About 1pm, I'd finally had enough, and wrote a very tender post trying to calm everyone down. But my post was removed immediately, and one of the MODs actually BLOCKED me, personally. I was literally the lone voice of reason, yet even as a gay man with a crippling cognitive disability, I was (ahem) "spanked." I encourage you to read the blogs I posted during this period (they're in "Dave's Blog Archive" in my toolbar above), as I make the case proving the Democrat's hypocrisy - and how dangerous that really is for us in the LGBTQ community. I mean, yeah, sure, of course it's nice when your party's in power, but as history has proven, the pendulum will swing back. And when you suddenly find yourself on the other side of a coordinated media attack, you'll find yourself in h i v e s, and holding a knife to your wrists because intolerance brought you to suicide, as it recently did to me a few months back ...
Moving on ...
After dumping the sad pup's body in the dumpster behind the bar (kidding), I took the freeway home and settled in for the 40-minute drive. As usual, I was listening to WLS in my truck, and the refrain of The Thompson Twin's 🎶Lay Your Hands on Me🎶 filled my pickup's dark cabin, the ballad's haunting chorus making eddies within the dashboard's glow. I settled back in my gear, placed a gloved hand on the steering wheel, and tugged down the brim of my Muir. It's true what they say about one's perception changing as one gets older, and that's definitely been the case for me ...
I don't know if it's a quirk of multiple personalities, or a growing awareness of the greater cosmic consciousness, as humanity evolves into what we are meant to become. The universe is built on love, and an Intelligent Design that we're only just beginning to comprehend. But we'll never truly experience the joy of our Almighty's Divine Creation if we keep fearing new ideas, and making assumptions that we shouldn't. Unless we learn to accept something as simple as an R on another voter's card, we'll never reach our species' potential - and reach the moment that Tony Marino did, when he crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, without looking back.
I dream of the day when we can all just be the people we're destined to be ...
I just hope I'm not having a Fever Dream.✨
- Sir Dave