The Saturday Night Everlasting
Information Page
Thirty years ago, Alan, Patrick, and Guinevere - "the Trio" - became the best of friends while stealing from Checker's Casual Cafe, the busiest restaurant in town. But the trio didn't just take money - what happened in 91' was no less than diabolical. Cicadas attacked customers, out-of-hand pranks collapsed the kitchen ceiling, and The Phantom of the Restaurant brought havoc to the dining room - all against a background of blaring 80s music. Sharon Donovan, the restaurant's general manager, was literally ready to kill someone when police were finally called.
Fifteen years later, Guinevere is mortally wounded in a horrific car accident. As Alan and Patrick rush to her side, her deathbed confession is chilling: "The worst thing about my depression is that it has a sense of humor." In her dying breath Gwen asks Alan to take care of Stephanie, her teenage daughter - "As you once took care of me, when we all worked together at Checker's." And as Steph brings back memories of the best time in his life, Alan makes a very bad decision...
But karma is a bitch, and Patrick' arrest on returning to his Nevada home makes national news. His frantic cry for help sends Alan & Stephanie on a cross-country trip - where evidence reveals a disturbing connection within the Trio that began years before Checker's. It's eerie how current events mirror those from decades ago, and past-and-present stories play out side-by-side. Without Alan's help, Patrick will go to prison - but as Sharon Donnovan learned the hard way, it's often those you trust the most who blindside you with their behaviors...
No matter how far you run, the past will always catch up with you -
And once it does, it will serve a dish best cold.
Fifteen years later, Guinevere is mortally wounded in a horrific car accident. As Alan and Patrick rush to her side, her deathbed confession is chilling: "The worst thing about my depression is that it has a sense of humor." In her dying breath Gwen asks Alan to take care of Stephanie, her teenage daughter - "As you once took care of me, when we all worked together at Checker's." And as Steph brings back memories of the best time in his life, Alan makes a very bad decision...
But karma is a bitch, and Patrick' arrest on returning to his Nevada home makes national news. His frantic cry for help sends Alan & Stephanie on a cross-country trip - where evidence reveals a disturbing connection within the Trio that began years before Checker's. It's eerie how current events mirror those from decades ago, and past-and-present stories play out side-by-side. Without Alan's help, Patrick will go to prison - but as Sharon Donnovan learned the hard way, it's often those you trust the most who blindside you with their behaviors...
No matter how far you run, the past will always catch up with you -
And once it does, it will serve a dish best cold.
Checker's restaurants had such cool interiors! Look at the red bricks and warm colors.
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Checker's Casual Cafe
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Look at those kick-ass ceiling fans!
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Sung to the Tune of Madonna's"VOGUE"
What are you looking' at?...
Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache. It's everywhere that you go. (Just look around.) You try everything you can to escape those bills and debts that you owe. (Debts that you owe…) If all else fails and you long to be something better than you are today… I know a way you can make extra cash: It's called the void key. And it's all tax free, so - C'mon, void! Let your fingers make extra money… hey, hey, hey - C'mon, void! Let your fingers feel the cash flow! All you need are some extra order tickets, so use them - that's what they're for! (That's what they're for…) Void it out, grab the cash when you make the switch, then guests just walk out the door! (Walk…out the door…) It makes no difference if you're bottom or top. Or way in back of the bar. If the sales are hopping', appetizers are high - You're a superstar. Tips go twice as far, so - C'mon, void! Let your fingers make extra money… hey, hey, hey - C'mon, void! Let your fingers feel the cash flow! Money's where you void it. To hell with food costs, we've destroyed it! Only when the money flows, that's when I feel so beautiful… Powerful… Heads could roll, so - get out on that register and void! C'mon, void! Let your fingers make extra money… hey, hey, hey - C'mon, void! Let your fingers feel the cash flow! (Money's where you void it.) (Money's where you void it.) Cash flow's high, bills are low. Northwoods Mall is where we'll go. Karen, Fryer, Bob and me… Bill and Rodney are a couple of queens! Corporate, DM's, and LP: thank you for the diamond rings! Alan, Patrick, Guinevere…push the void, bleach that hair. We have style, we have grace - Berman's Leather: we've got taste. Sears, Wards, Penny's - EWWW - Eight door limo? That'll do! Waitress with an attitude. Waiter who's not in the mood - Don't just stand there, let's get to it - Make some cash, there's nothing to it. - VOID! |
Photos From the OriginalCASUAL CAFEThese photos were taken around 1990/1991, at Cheddar's Restaurant in Peoria, IL - the place that inspired "The Casual Cafe."
Holy mother of God. Look at that HAIR. Clearly, I needed an intervention for hairspray.
Alan's eyes on Gwen, always...
Patrick, Gwen, and Alan in the Cheddar's/Checker's lobby…I'm guessing in 1991.
Schnookum's Filthy Humor:
A typical note from Gwen, on any given day, written on a Checker's ticket and signed "Schnookums."
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Everyone has photos of the best time of their lives ....
"Alan" & "Patrick"
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Cheryl Bennish, "with tits as big as safety cones"
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The Checker's bar...that's Bam-Bam on the right, with the bubble butt in acid washed jeans.
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INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY
Despite it's humor, The Saturday Night Everlasting is based on both happy and sad events.
Unfortunately, one of those real-life events included the death of Cheryl Bennish...
Despite it's humor, The Saturday Night Everlasting is based on both happy and sad events.
Unfortunately, one of those real-life events included the death of Cheryl Bennish...
Before Checker's, Cheryl worked at Lum's.
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Clips from The Peoria Journal Star
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... Sharon and Bob Gross were inspired by real, amazing people ...
Sharon Donovan, in a white coat rather than a colored blazer, stands outside Checker's Restaurant after the fire...
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Bob Gross, attorney at law...
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... as was The Phantom of the Restaurant ...
Alan as "The Phantom," standing - ironically - in front of the Checker's Specials board. (If you look close, the board has a "Phantom" theme).
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A note from the PHANTOM...
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Alan & Patrick at "DJ's Time Out," a local bar. Hmm...HOW did Alan pay for that gorgeous leather trench coat?
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... As was The Trio .
"The Trio"
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...and the first documented note that Guinevere signed as "Schnookums," though the spelling would change over time...
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The Trio, hiding Gwen's black eye. (They should have been hiding Alan's MULLET!)
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... The locations described were actual places as well ...
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NIGHT FACES Dance Club
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The CLUB PEORIAN
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... and of course, who can forget ...
The
Heritage House Smorgasbord
The Heritage House Smorgasbord was a chain of regional restaurants, popular in Illinois & Indiana from the mid 1960s through the late 1980s.
These restaurants were huge - with rambling, cavernous buildings, and parking lots as large as truck stops. Their dining rooms were decorated with wallpaper and wagon-wheel chandeliers, and the whole interior had a color scheme straight from The Brady Bunch. Each restaurant was located adjacent to a major Interstate, and the locations were capable of accommodating busloads of travelers at a moment's notice.
The Heritage House was a restaurant that existed before anyone cared about health-conscious eating, and it's demise came with The Old Country Buffet - with salad bars that were there for eating, rather than just decoration. When dining at the HH, chest pain meant that you'd enjoyed your meal.
Below is the floor plan of a typical Heritage House restaurant. Please note the sheer scale of the building, and the many "auxiliary" dining rooms that could be opened as needed. Try to imagine what the place was like on busy days.
These restaurants were huge - with rambling, cavernous buildings, and parking lots as large as truck stops. Their dining rooms were decorated with wallpaper and wagon-wheel chandeliers, and the whole interior had a color scheme straight from The Brady Bunch. Each restaurant was located adjacent to a major Interstate, and the locations were capable of accommodating busloads of travelers at a moment's notice.
- Think prime rib and ham sliced to order.
- Think mayonnaise-based potato and pasta salads, in large plastic bowls on ice.
- Think orange polyester uniforms, and waitresses with names from a bygone era.
The Heritage House was a restaurant that existed before anyone cared about health-conscious eating, and it's demise came with The Old Country Buffet - with salad bars that were there for eating, rather than just decoration. When dining at the HH, chest pain meant that you'd enjoyed your meal.
Below is the floor plan of a typical Heritage House restaurant. Please note the sheer scale of the building, and the many "auxiliary" dining rooms that could be opened as needed. Try to imagine what the place was like on busy days.
Here are some photos of various Heritage House restaurants:
The sign on the roof was a lighthouse on the Interstate - beckoning Mercury Grand Marquis, big Buick station wagons, and busses full of senior citizens to leave the road for grub.
All HH restaurants looked pretty much the same, including a large awning (torn down in this photo), where Ford LTDs would drop off diners at the entrance.
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The main dining room in the HH in Madison, WI. Even grocery stores had less square footage.
Sadly, this was the fate of pretty much all HH restaurants in the 1990s. The buildings were too old, too specialized (and quite frankly, too dirty) to be used for anything else.
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Look at the proximity of the HH to the interstate. It was literally the first right turn you'd take after leaving the highway. And many busses did.
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If it was battered, fried, and served with tongs, the HH had it on the serving line!
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Seriously...look at that wallpaper! (And while you're at it, look at the carpet!)
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The HH in its heyday.
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In the days before the Internet, I kept scrapbooks to document my life...and I went through them to see if I had kept any Heritage House memorabilia Sadly, I wasn't big into taking pictures in the 80s, so I don't have any photos of the actual restaurant where I worked, but I do have a few mementos of our last six months of business.
The newspaper story to the left (copied from microfiche) appeared in the Peoria Journal Star on the last Saturday we were open. I remember that our boss wanted to close quietly - but I also remember that many on the staff was upset over losing their jobs. The article's author claims to have spoken to the HH manager, but I've since learned that wasn't the case; an angry employee (claiming to be the manager) was responsible for the interview. What was supposed to be a discreet closing turned into a local media frenzy. We made the paper, the radio, and all three local TV stations.
Apparently the Casual Cafe wasn't the only restaurant with a prankster.
The newspaper story to the left (copied from microfiche) appeared in the Peoria Journal Star on the last Saturday we were open. I remember that our boss wanted to close quietly - but I also remember that many on the staff was upset over losing their jobs. The article's author claims to have spoken to the HH manager, but I've since learned that wasn't the case; an angry employee (claiming to be the manager) was responsible for the interview. What was supposed to be a discreet closing turned into a local media frenzy. We made the paper, the radio, and all three local TV stations.
Apparently the Casual Cafe wasn't the only restaurant with a prankster.
HERITAGE HOUSE COMMERCIAL
The Heritage House "Steak n' Buffet" Book of Limericks
Behold, my first book! :)
I found this in my scrapbook. It's a little booklet of limericks that I wrote about my coworkers. At the very least, it's a piece of my past - and a sign that even back then, I was thinking about writing, rather than waiting tables. As you can see, the booklet has been stored in those old sticky-cellophane photo albums that were popular before digital pictures. But in an effort to make this an interesting segment, I broke the seal and cut the yellow tape. In it's last six months of business, as the Heritage House desperately tried to become a steakhouse AND buffet - which failed miserably.
Please enjoy Dave's humor circa 1988. Some are clever, others not so much:
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STACY
(Stacy was a "cornchip," a precursor to a "goth.") There once was a hostess named Stacy - whose makeup was caked on her face-y. She went to remove it, but found nothing could groove it - So, now Stacy's doomed to look space-y. DAVE
(Yours truly.) There once was a waiter named Dave - Whose humor was fit for the grave. He once told a funny about the corpse of a bunny - And was met with boo-hisses, not raves! ALBERTA
(A very fit waitress.) There once was a waitress named "Bert" - Whose aerobics got many people hurt. Once, during her routine, a man ruptured his spleen - She laughed as he fell to the dirt. |
NATALIE
(The token rich girl.) There once was a cashier named "Nat" - Who was well-known for being a brat. When she asked for limo, Daddy bought her a demo - She said, "I refuse to drive that!" JOE
(Another rich guy, but one of the bosses.) There once was a boss-guy named Joe - Who's mom was as rich as they go. When his car he did crash, came mom in a flash - And gave him a Rolls with a bow. SEAN
(An artist, apparently. And Mitch was a car thief.) There once was a lineman named Sean - Who was famous for things he had drawn. When his picture of Mitch bore the phrase sonnava' bitch - Sean's face became strewn on the lawn. |
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BEVIE
(Not a very fit waitress.) There once was a waitress named Bevie - Who's bod was the size of a Chevy. She went to buy clothes, or at least panty hose - But found nothing the size of a levee. (Yeah, sorry...that was a little bitchy.) |
I also found THIS little gem in the archives. Thank God he underlined closing. |
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