Dave's Cartoons/Artwork
First, draw the faces...
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Next, draw the characters...
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Then, add the background/mice.
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Finally, add all the finishing touches!
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For as long as I can remember, I've loved to draw. I have no formal training, but I've drawn cartoons since I was a kid. If you've read Goodbye to Beekman Place, you'll find many mentions of artwork.
Over the years, I've always found a way to utilize drawing in almost every job I've held, and this is a small sample of some of the projects I've done. I have a bad habit of giving away my "originals," so most of these photos are copies of copies of copies…and many of the older ones have a "yellow" tint. (You'll see what I mean as you scroll down.) Please keep that in mind as you view them.
Over the years, I've always found a way to utilize drawing in almost every job I've held, and this is a small sample of some of the projects I've done. I have a bad habit of giving away my "originals," so most of these photos are copies of copies of copies…and many of the older ones have a "yellow" tint. (You'll see what I mean as you scroll down.) Please keep that in mind as you view them.
Dave's Submission to FoxNews
10/19/2016
During the heated political season, about the only news show I could stand to watch anymore was Fox and Friends - a daily morning program that managed to avoid both election venom and liberal bias. I drew this cartoon in conjunction with the three Presidential debates.
Click below to download a digital copy of this cartoon.
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Dave's Submission to the AFDI Cartoon Contest:
4/5/2015
Several years ago, the American Freedom Defense Initiative sponsored the first-ever "Muhammad Art Exhibit & Contest," held in Garland, TX. By now you know the story: the AFDI event captured national headlines when two ISIS gunmen fired shots into the crowd, scaring the hell out of everyone. I'm not discounting the attempted act of terror, but seriously ... was anyone really surprised? The contest's rules were brutally honest about potential repercussions, and all who entered - myself included - knew exactly what we were getting into.
After seeing the top ten entries, I was admittedly disappointed that my cartoon didn't place in the contest. It's not that the other entries were bad, it's just that they weren't as elaborate as mine - and I wish I would have at least made the list. In hindsight, my cartoon was too political - and my pop culture references probably disqualified me.
BTW, on a personal note, had I been the contest winner, I'd have happily shielded myself from the gunfire with that big $12,500 check :)
Click Below To Download a digital copy of this Cartoon:
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Dave's Submission to Barnes and Noble Booksellers
(2013)
The theme of this cartoon is "Employee Appreciation," and giving kudos to all booksellers who find a way to calmly do their jobs against the craziness of the bookstore.
Click Below to download a digital copy of this cartoon.
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Window artwork for "Get Pop Cultured" month at Barnes & Noble #2106, in 2015. It's supposed to be James Patterson, but I didn't have room for a trench coat. One bookseller said that James looks like he's about to throw his Frappuccino at a customer.
Dave's Cartoon for the
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Saul's Cartoon
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Dave's Submission to WLS Talk Radio:
The Roe & Garry Show
(1998)
This cartoon was drawn for the "Roe Conn and Garry Meyer show" in the 90s. Note that I hadn't gotten the "dialogue boxes" quite right, before I learned how to use my computer. The cartoon reflects many inside jokes from the show…including "Gestapoland," an ongoing radio bit. If you're a talk radio fan, please notice Rush Limbaugh, Bill Clinton, Dr. Laura, and Art Bell. If you remember the old "Roe & Garry" show, please notice the canarble wagon (stocked with the best of the best).
Roe and Garry
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Don's Cartoon
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Dave's Submission to WLS Talk Radio:
Don & Roma: The Morning Breakfast Diner
(1996)
I drew this cartoon for "Don and Roma's Breakfast Diner," mentioned in chapter three of Goodbye to Beekman Place. This was my entry for that year's WLS "Bengston's Pumpkin Farm" cartoon contest, and I won a Health Rider exercise bike…which I still use to hang ironed shirts.
Rest in Peace, Don.
Rest in Peace, Don.
Benny's First Cartoon
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Benny's Second Cartoon
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Outback Steakhouse
You've all seen the movie "The Office," and "flair" has become a common restaurant joke. I'm now about to share with you one of my deepest, most-guarded secrets: I used to make flair for Outback Steakhouse restaurants. I"ll take a moment for you to digest this embarrassing admission. Please don't judge me. Below is a photograph of my personal flair collection.
Now, imagine this: I was waiting tables at the Outback Steakhouse, yet my pins advertised Studio 54, Metropolis (the Fritz Lang movie), The Bates Motel, the Roswell New Mexico UFO crash, and a Maria Muldaur song. Yeah…sure. My mind was on waitering!
In addition to flair, I also drew two cartoons - which I sent to Outback corporate. These cartoons were inspired by comics I drew on my restaurants' dry-erase boards, and this is one that encapsulated the restaurants as a whole. The picture quality is rough (my copy looks like it was drawn with crayons), but you'll see what went though my mind while I waited tables.
In my six years with Outback, I created a cast of restaurant-related characters. I used them to promote the restaurants' service standards, including customer service, food quality, and nifty background information behind the places' food and decor.
I'd like to introduce you to ALICE SPRINGER (a daytime talk show diva), LITTLE ORPHAN AUSSIE (a shrill dead-eyed orphan who sang about restaurant food), THE PHANTOM OF THE OUTBACK (don't ask), AUSSIE POWERS (an Austin Powers rip-off), THE BUSHMEN IN BLACK (a Men in Black parody), and of course the seething "Amanda" from a fictional TV soap: MELBORNE PLACE. You'll also notice Mulder & Scully from the XXX-FILES (whose name was taken from Australia's XXX beer).
Again, I cannot apologize enough...
In my six years with Outback, I created a cast of restaurant-related characters. I used them to promote the restaurants' service standards, including customer service, food quality, and nifty background information behind the places' food and decor.
I'd like to introduce you to ALICE SPRINGER (a daytime talk show diva), LITTLE ORPHAN AUSSIE (a shrill dead-eyed orphan who sang about restaurant food), THE PHANTOM OF THE OUTBACK (don't ask), AUSSIE POWERS (an Austin Powers rip-off), THE BUSHMEN IN BLACK (a Men in Black parody), and of course the seething "Amanda" from a fictional TV soap: MELBORNE PLACE. You'll also notice Mulder & Scully from the XXX-FILES (whose name was taken from Australia's XXX beer).
Again, I cannot apologize enough...
(Chuckling.) I've often wondered what the folks at Outback corporate thought when they first opened the FedEx package with this cartoon. To me, a crocodile eating a customer's foot was funny…as was the Jeffery Dahlmer reference. Mice running around the whole restaurant. For some reason, they never responded back...
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The original hung in the restaurant office for a year before I realized I had forgotten to give AUSSIE POWERS black glasses.
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The Demise of
Handy Andy Home Improvement Centers
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 The Handy Andy doll.
Now, this is FUN.
Waaaaaaay back in 1995, I worked for a company called Handy Andy Home Improvement Centers. We were a regional store, known throughout Illinois & Indiana, but with the approach of Home Depot to the marketplace, we were about to have our asses kicked. In the months before Home Depot came to town, Handy Andy scrambled to keep itself viable in Chicago. After years of clinging to an antiquated attitude towards customers (with specialized employees who refused to help customers in other departments), HA refocused its business plan and created a new position: the "Right Advice, Right Here" guy, positioned at a podium in the very front of the store. Here is the first cartoon: |
"STOP Products" btw meant "Super Tough on Prices." (Or as the employees liked to say, "Super Tough on Quality.") The big inside joke here involves the forgotten top stock inventory. Some of that shit was 10 years old when I worked there. Also, in the company's final two years of business, a big emphasis was placed on the concept, our "Store of the Future." The store of the future included such revolutionary concepts as CLEANING the place up, installing "Right Advice, Right Now" podiums at the store front, and fixing some of the problems (like broken floor tiles) that plagued our aging buildings.
Handy Andy: The Last Year
The cartoon below took place during our final year of operations:
As our inevitable liquidation neared, Handy Andy's one bright spot was its great lawn & garden department. We were ALWAYS busy, though we couldn't afford enough staff to run the dept (especially in our final year). Our last spring/summer season was filled with breaking equipment, displays that were falling apart, and working conditions that would have frightened OSHA. When you add in the customers (especially the little old ladies buying petunias), the setting was ripe for a cartoon. It's actually amazing that no one got hurt...
Going Out of Business Sale ... 🫣
These cartoons below were drawn during our "Going out of Business" sale. I was a Handy Andy manager at the time, and I commandeered everyone's desktop calendars to chronicle the events that were happening around us. At the time I was in charge of the Lawn & Garden department, and I had just set up the Christmas display:
The joke about the extension cord running too many lights was real. I touched it one day, and the damn thing was HOT. Also pay attention to the assortment of animated Christmas figures. "Dick George" was a company CEO at the time - and the focus of much employee anger. Note his animated figure - a Dickens character beating Tiny Tim with the orphan's crutch.
It's hard to see in this image, but the porcelain Christmas village contains a brothel, an adult bookstore, a gay bar, and a Planned Parenthood clinic. |
A few weeks after the announcement, Handy Andy's corporate office fired half of its employees. This cartoon was inspired by that proud moment. I'd always wanted to do a 1950s monster movie parody! "Phyllis," btw, was our HR rep at the time. She was known for her polyester clothes, her short blonde hair, and her fierce defense of corporate policies…until she got fired, herself.
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As the company crumbled, events in the store became hysterical. We had a "special orders" consultant named Teresa, and she kept a desk within the manager's office…and she refused to vacate, despite the fact that her position had been eliminated.
Everyone has a catch phrase, and Teresa's was "WHAT?"
Teresa's (fictional) last stand, as the building literally crashed down around her.
Despite the liquidation sale, I still found a way to have fun. By now you know that I'm a big Star Wars fan, and the comic below is a parody of the Star Wars saga, with characters played by Handy Andy employees.
INSIDE JOKES: The "Darth Vader" character was a manager who defected to Home Depot before we closed. Luke & Leia were two different managers, and Chewbacca was a long-time employee who's hair was straight from the 1950s. "Salernos" was a bar across the street that we often frequented after work.
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"Jean Pitz" was Handy Andy's CEO, when the company finally closed. This cartoon describes Pitz's demise (as frequently suggested by HA's remaining employees), in the last few hours of the last store standing (in Schaumburg, IL) .
I remember writing a song parody at the end…a rip-off of Don McLean's "American Pie." It started like this: "So, bye bye, it's Handy Andy's demise…took the Komatsu down the lot where we dismantled our sign. And the stockyard boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singing' this will be the day that I buy…this will be the day that I buy…" (Buying Home Depot stock, that is.) A "Komatsu," by the way, was the model of our forklift.
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