Oh, the 80s - when we would match our suits to our cars.
GETTING OFF THE COUCH when you suffer from depression is a. lot like crawling from a grave. These past three months are a mental fog as I've been dealing with the type of sadness that causes suicide attempts. A lot of it came from the election. Many polls said that Kamala would win, and it was hard to keep a MAGA gameface on when 90% of Trump's coverage was negative. I noticed that gas was a little cheaper, and I worried that fact might swing undecided voters. I also had to quit my storage facility job because I was getting debilitating anxiety attacks, and later, a pawn shop job for similar reasons. It seems like all of my utilities are on payment plans, and disability barely covers my mortgage. Another reason for feeling down is because I still don't have an agent; I've been querying for a year to no avail, and now most agencies close down for the holidays - so there's no point in trying to contact them. Dane's been battling his own melancholy, and Alexander wrecked his car - so now he's depressed. Quite frankly, these past few months have really sucked for all of us - and that's why I haven't blogged in a while. Hopefully, December will be a better month.
"If you bought weed in Palm Beach in the nineties, then it probably came from me," the narrator said as I watched my new job's training video this week, smiling to myself. I'm a "Budtender" at a soon-to-open cannabis dispensary. Perfect job for me because, after I quit drinking, I've become a bit of a stoner. The gentleman on the screen looked like an extra from Miami Vice, with 3-days worth of chin growth, T-shirt under his jacket, and black Ray Ban sunglasses on his head. He was one of our company's many "cannabis suppliers," and he rattled off his drug-related arrest record proudly. Another supplier was a bit too excited when describing our line of cannabis sex products. ("And this one you can drizzle right on the clitoris!") Having worked in the bookstore 17 years - a massive retailer with George Orwell's HR Department - I've grown accustomed to a workplace of decorum & formality, which is why working for Heartland Cannabis is so much fun. The *culture* of the business is different than anything I've encountered before, from my grizzled Cheech & Chong coworkers to my twenty-five year old Regional Manager - all of whom smoke pot on a daily basis. The atmosphere is *chill*. I've never worked in such an environment. I'm the oldest member of the staff, but that doesn't bother me. As I reenter the workforce, I want a job with less responsibility - at least until I've been there awhile. The position has plenty of room for advancement - Heartland is opening numerous locations in Chicago - so, I might return to management in a year or so. In the meantime, I'm happy where I am - especially with all the free samples I get to bring home. 🪴
"If you bought weed in Palm Beach in the nineties, then it probably came from me," the narrator said as I watched my new job's training video this week, smiling to myself. I'm a "Budtender" at a soon-to-open cannabis dispensary. Perfect job for me because, after I quit drinking, I've become a bit of a stoner. The gentleman on the screen looked like an extra from Miami Vice, with 3-days worth of chin growth, T-shirt under his jacket, and black Ray Ban sunglasses on his head. He was one of our company's many "cannabis suppliers," and he rattled off his drug-related arrest record proudly. Another supplier was a bit too excited when describing our line of cannabis sex products. ("And this one you can drizzle right on the clitoris!") Having worked in the bookstore 17 years - a massive retailer with George Orwell's HR Department - I've grown accustomed to a workplace of decorum & formality, which is why working for Heartland Cannabis is so much fun. The *culture* of the business is different than anything I've encountered before, from my grizzled Cheech & Chong coworkers to my twenty-five year old Regional Manager - all of whom smoke pot on a daily basis. The atmosphere is *chill*. I've never worked in such an environment. I'm the oldest member of the staff, but that doesn't bother me. As I reenter the workforce, I want a job with less responsibility - at least until I've been there awhile. The position has plenty of room for advancement - Heartland is opening numerous locations in Chicago - so, I might return to management in a year or so. In the meantime, I'm happy where I am - especially with all the free samples I get to bring home. 🪴
Pete Hegseth as Sec of Defense? What's. next - Hulk Hogan as Ambassador to Russia? SPEAKING OF JOB OPPORTUNITIES, one reason why I'm excited to work for Heartland Cannabis is because they're an up-and-coming company that will be expanding during a Trump economy. I am...so...relieved that Donald won the election, as we'll finally have a "businessman" overseeing our nation's finances - and Drill, Baby, Drill! I've been watching Mr. Trump's Cabinet picks with glee. I almost jumped up and cheered when he nominated Fox News's Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't getting a *little* pleasure out of the Left's scrambling to explain why they were so wrong on their predictions, and I've taken to watching The View these past few weeks because it's funny to see Whoopie Goldberg childishly refuse to say Donald Trump's name. (Chuckling - maybe watching The View is why I've been depressed!) The day after the election, with the exception of Goldberg, all of the hosts were dressed in black. As if we need further confirmation that our media is Left-wing, I thought as I watched the show over a period of several weeks. The gall of these women. The way they inflict their out-of-touch values on viewers is shameful. It's as though they've never seen the post-election map of RED, and I wonder what kind of ratings they really get within the country's heartland.
Wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall at Mar-a-Lago right now? To hear what Trump & Elon really talk about behind closed doors? I'll bet it's about extraterrestrials. I suspect that both men are "in the know" when it comes to ET Disclosure, and it wouldn't surprise me if Donald finally opens up the government's UFO files - and tells us what we know about life outside our planet. I loved the photo of Musk & Trump wolfing down McDonald's on Trump's plane from a few weeks back. I wish Rush Limbaugh were alive to witness this historic transition of government, but I'm sure he's watching from somewhere in the heavens. Republicans have the chance to do a U-turn on this nation's direction, and I hope that when the new Congress is sworn in, they waste no time initiating much needed reforms. I wonder what - if anything - Donald has planned for the court system; its bias was revealed during his multiple prosecutions, and the whole damn bureaucracy needs to be flushed. I can't wait for the economy to improve, and for the price of gas to come down to the levels we saw in Trump's first term. I also can't wait for our border to be secure, and for Donald to sign his initial Executive Orders. With the dawn of both commercial space travel & quantum computing, our country is on the cusp of a new golden age - and we all need to appreciate what's happening all around us. And if the next four years of Trump presidency is as successful as I think it will be, the Republicans will be poised to hold the office for the following eight years - saving us from Socialism. The era of Biden's Great Depression will finally be over.
Wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall at Mar-a-Lago right now? To hear what Trump & Elon really talk about behind closed doors? I'll bet it's about extraterrestrials. I suspect that both men are "in the know" when it comes to ET Disclosure, and it wouldn't surprise me if Donald finally opens up the government's UFO files - and tells us what we know about life outside our planet. I loved the photo of Musk & Trump wolfing down McDonald's on Trump's plane from a few weeks back. I wish Rush Limbaugh were alive to witness this historic transition of government, but I'm sure he's watching from somewhere in the heavens. Republicans have the chance to do a U-turn on this nation's direction, and I hope that when the new Congress is sworn in, they waste no time initiating much needed reforms. I wonder what - if anything - Donald has planned for the court system; its bias was revealed during his multiple prosecutions, and the whole damn bureaucracy needs to be flushed. I can't wait for the economy to improve, and for the price of gas to come down to the levels we saw in Trump's first term. I also can't wait for our border to be secure, and for Donald to sign his initial Executive Orders. With the dawn of both commercial space travel & quantum computing, our country is on the cusp of a new golden age - and we all need to appreciate what's happening all around us. And if the next four years of Trump presidency is as successful as I think it will be, the Republicans will be poised to hold the office for the following eight years - saving us from Socialism. The era of Biden's Great Depression will finally be over.
Dancing to Trump's election. I SHOULD ALSO POINT OUT that I don't agree with *everything* on the Republican platform (I'm actually a Libertarian). The biggest issue I disagree on: Black people deserve Reparations, and a formal apology from a competent Republican President. I wrote about why in my 3/6 blog "The Color Purple Rain," as well as in When People Go Away. What the Democrats have done to the African American community is reprehensible - and after 40 years trapped in a welfare state, we owe Blacks a check for how they've have been treated. BUT, once Reparations are paid, this whole race issue must be dropped immediately because its decades-long presence has damaged our nation. Our country must be united as Donald begins to address the encroaching crises that threaten us from overseas. Between Russia, China, North Korea, and the Middle East, somebody's gonna' drop a nuke - you just know it. Add to that, terrorist cells are currently in America, and it's likely they'll try and strike sometime during Trump's presidency. The world has become a very dangerous place, and strong American leadership is required at this moment in history. The Ukraine war has to be stopped before Putin pushes a button. The DPRK must be disarmed (and its leadership removed), but China needs to be involved with that - not just the USA. Iran must stop enriching uranium. A firm decision has to be made with how far the US will go in defense of Taiwan. And while all that is happening, Space-X & Nasa will be sending rockets to the stars - can you just imagine? We are literally at a precipice in history, and with strong Republican leadership, the United States is at its epicenter. This is truly a great time to be alive. 💫
I drew this cartoon in 2008, back when Goodbye to Beekman Place was being read by an agency. IN OTHER NEWS, I'm completely changing the way I query agents. Rather than following the traditional querying procedure (which has netted me squat over the past year), I'm going to dust off my pens & pencils and start sending agents cartoons. I'm going to draw parodies of the individual agencies (I can get their photos off the internet) and pitch the book within the character/mouse dialogue. I'll FedEx the comics in mailing tubes, with a flash drive of the manuscript (tied by ribbon to a Payday bar) inside. I loathe the possibility of self-publishing again, because I know that When People Go Away is *good* - and that it deserves a chance on an agent's desk. But the publishing world is both cold-hearted & predatorial, and getting an agent's attention with a letter/QueryTracker form (when they get hundreds per day) is almost impossible - so I'm going to use my other talents to find a back door. Worse case, even if the agency tosses my material, I'll be able to update my "Dave's Cartoons" page with some fresh images. I've been so depressed these past few years, I haven't drawn a cartoon of consequence since 2016. It's time to change that. I've already commandeered the kitchen table, and warned my roommates that I get manic when I'm working, so don't talk to Dave while he's drawing unless its an emergency.
In further "other news," I've started seeing a consoler specifically for my multiple personalities. I see a psychiatrist of course, but it's been years since I've spoken to a "psychologist." I asked my meds doctor to recommend someone on his staff for consoling, so he paired me up with this cute little gay guy who's half my age. I like going to his office because it's filled with things that glow, and the place has an ambiance similar to my own home at night. I told him I was still suicidal, and I approached each day like an addict in AA: One day at a time. I gave him a copy of When People Go Away, and he said that he'll read it. I'm really looking forward to having a mental health professional's opinion on my work, even if he doesn't like it. I'm running out of people who've never read earlier versions of the manuscript, so having a therapist read my stuff is kinda' a big thing for me. We'll see if he *gets* the ending.
In further "other news," I've started seeing a consoler specifically for my multiple personalities. I see a psychiatrist of course, but it's been years since I've spoken to a "psychologist." I asked my meds doctor to recommend someone on his staff for consoling, so he paired me up with this cute little gay guy who's half my age. I like going to his office because it's filled with things that glow, and the place has an ambiance similar to my own home at night. I told him I was still suicidal, and I approached each day like an addict in AA: One day at a time. I gave him a copy of When People Go Away, and he said that he'll read it. I'm really looking forward to having a mental health professional's opinion on my work, even if he doesn't like it. I'm running out of people who've never read earlier versions of the manuscript, so having a therapist read my stuff is kinda' a big thing for me. We'll see if he *gets* the ending.
They're expensive, but worth it. I CANNOT BEGIN TO DESCRIBE what it feels like to finally have some relief from 45 years of depression. When People Go Away was hell to write, and I was hospitalized 3x while completing the final manuscript. In addition to the cartoon query described above, I'm also going to incorporate language about how every red voter is a potential/underrepresented reader. I'm going to hit agents with artwork, a great/polished story, and a target audience with dollars to spend. I'll give it another 6 months to a year before I break down and self-publish again, so starting January - with Trump's inauguration on the television - I'll be spending my free time at either my computer or drawing table. I am literally "starting from the drawing board" as I market my book and continue to heal myself from my Great Depression -
Trump, in the meantime, will be healing the nation. 🇺🇸
- Sir Dave
Trump, in the meantime, will be healing the nation. 🇺🇸
- Sir Dave