David Alan Dedin
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What's the Frequency, Kamala?

7/30/2024

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Picture
Joe's new campaign logo.
JILL, I MEAN JOE HAD BARELY PENNED OUR PRESIDENT'S RESIGNATION ANNOUNCEMENT last week when the news hit every cable channel, social media outlet, and iPhone alert.  I chuckled as this happened.  It was like watching hospital doors burst open, when the doctor (in bloody scrubs) rushes into the ER's waiting room to tell the family that after ten hours of emergency surgery, Uncle Joe's gonna' be okay.  It was a collective *sigh* of relief so intense, it felt like having an orgasm.  And thank God, too.  Have you noticed the "look" on Biden's face lately?  It's the cold, dead-eyed, Bella-from-Twilight stare that old people get, when they're realized you've taken their car keys away (or in this particular case, the nuclear codes).  FINALLY the White House doors are open, and the tinfoil peeled from the Oval Office windows.  I honestly got chills when I watched President Biden's primetime address to the nation, spinning the situation like a Karine Jean-Pierre press conference.  This man is decrepit on the scale of Montie Burns, and he's clearly getting worse.  While the media ponders the Twenty Fifth amendment, Putin, Xi, & Un are staring at the Western media together, their mouths on the floor: NO FUCKING WAY!  Without a competent American President in office, there's nobody strong enforce the rules of the global playground - and the bullies will take over.  Adding fuel to the fire, we've given our enemies an Afghanistan-y timetable for our Jan 20th withdrawal.  As I mentioned in my last blog, if a foreign adversary *genuinely* wants to attack American interests, now's the time to do it - especially with a Lame Duck President who's actively displaying a gross inability to lead.  And if the United States assets/allies do get attacked, do we reeeeeeally think that Kamala Harris can protect our nation's borders?  The *Border Tsar* has barely visited our own, for Christ's sake. 
PictureA forgotten gem from the Carter era.
It's fun to watch the Democrats scramble, as leaks of the "real" Joe Biden finally hit the news.  It's horrifying to realize how much the staff has hidden from cameras, and how vulnerable that has left this country to threats from overseas. I love watching Liberals contradicting themselves on air, in back-to-back soundbites on Fox News.  I also have no sympathy for pretty-eyed Jean-Pierre these days, as she's clearly been lying to everyone from the moment she took the podium.  I find that I need to re-educate myself on Kamala, because, to my knowledge, she hasn't done a thing for years.  (I seem to remember she has issues with her staff, as, unlike her boss, she's a very different person behind closed doors.)  My impression of Kamala is an ultra-left-wing candidate who's *unpleasant* to work with - and she has more colored pant-suits than Hillary.  (It's like she found a style she liked, then bought a rainbow case-pack.) In her recent commercial, Harris is seen taking an endorsement call from the Obamas.  The ad was was a work of beautiful Hollywood stagecraft, and I'm sure it was very effective within its target audience.  The problem was, it was so well-executed, no one really bought the fake Obama sincerity.  At least, I didn't.

PicturePresident Harris's first Oval Office address.
HOW STUPID DO THEY THINK WE ARE, as modern Liberals do a U-turn so fast, the Presidential limo loses a hubcap?  Do they really expect us to *buy* the story that Kamala Harris has been waiting in the shadows to be our first black female President all along?  That she's been mentored by Biden on America's role in geopolitics - and is now ready to stand her ground against Russia, China, North Korea, and those who threaten Israel in the middle east?  I'll admit, I wasn't paying attention to the early Democrat primaries when Joe first chose her as his VP running mate.  I know she was a Prosecutor in San Francisco, and "The Prosecutor vs The Felon" does play well in Talking Points ... but again, I can't think of one thing of consequence this woman has done during her tenure as Vice President.  And the budget the Democrats have to work with to promote her new campaign is staggering; the Liberal machine is already at work filming beautifully blocked, staged, performed, directed, & slickly-produced TV commercials, promoting a Harris presidency. (I can't wait for their convention.) I hope the GOP is paying close attention to this, and that they might finally start fighting back against this type of media attack.  I think they have.  Most everyone I know isn't particularly excited by Kamala, and might just vote Republican if Donald makes his case.  For years, the Democrats ran circles around Republicans with their massive Get Out and Vote effort, rallying the troops - the invalids, the homeless people - driving/bussing voters to polling places, and knocking on doors & tent flaps at 6am 11/5 to physically escort their Liberal base to the nearest polling places. Considering the gravity of our upcoming election, Republicans must make the same effort.

Here's a snippet from my 10/10/2018 blog, describing Kamala's San Francisco home-turf, and how it dealt with the homeless problem six years ago:


" So, I recently learned of San Francisco's "filth" problem, caused by its massive homeless population.  Apparently the city by the bay deals with bums in the streets, shit on the sidewalks, and used syringes that are sprinkled through downtown like a fresh coat of newly-fallen snow.  The poop in particular is a massive issue as addicts/vagrants shoot up in the streets, then defecate on the closest slab of pavement.  A local TV station found over 300 piles of human waste while walking the downtown thoroughfares.  A subway escalator was forced to close when its gears became clogged - with feces - because homeless people would shit on the stairs, then watch it grind up at the bottom.   Did you know that San Francisco spends 70 million dollars a year power washing piss, puke, and poop from its sidewalks/streets, only to have the issue return as soon as the cleanup crews go home?  It's a disgusting problem, a failure of local leadership, and a shit-stain on the reputation of a city that's known for its beauty.  Kind of makes you want to sing a classic song: "I left my shart...in San Francisco... "

Long before she was the Border Tsar, Kamala Harris's San Francisco was literally riddled with homeless people, thanks to bad Liberal policies.  In Chicago now, the homeless are everywhere, begging on streets, pleading for money at intersections, and busking for change on major sidewalks.  I actually live in Aurora, a far western suburb, and when I can afford it, I keep dollars handy (in my truck) when I meet beggars near my house.  When I first moved to Aurora 18 years ago, there were no homeless in my neighborhood, but that's changed dramatically since 2006.  Today, the needy beg in the sun at busy thoroughfares - while their families wait nearby, under the shade, watching, hoping.  The homeless are everywhere, even within the burbs that are 30 miles from downtown Chicago-proper. Add illegal immigrants to the mix, and the problem has become a crisis that, like overseas unrest, has gotten so bad under Liberal social policies, it can no longer be ignored.  And that's just ONE of the Biden-caused fires that the "Dictator on Day One" must extinguish, the moment he takes back the office.

PictureThey remind me of Prison Cells.
SPEAKING OF THE NEEDY, I deal with them daily at my new job, co-managing a local Storage Facility.  I've learned we're near one of the largest homeless shelters in the area, so working with the needy is commonplace - especially when I'm walking the property.  We often find the homeless *living* in their units, and when this happens, we have no choice but to evict them.  I'm puzzled by this.  Where did a needy person get the money to rent a space to begin with?  I've been told that, like illegal immigrants, the homeless receive free debit cards & cell phones - just enough to survive.  I was reminded of Dane's LINK card that we have to use for groceries; the Link card gives us *just enough* to get by - if we shop at Aldi.  Having spent every dime I have writing When People Go Away, I'm about a half-step away from finding myself in the same situation as the homeless at my employer.  I've never been this broke.  I've lost count of the amount of utilities that Dane has put on payment plans - and I'm afraid to ask.  I was so behind on the mortgage, I almost lost my house last month, but my family intervened in the eleventh hour, so that's been added to the bill pile.  I try to send out 2-3 decent queries every week, and it's hard not to bite my nails as I watch my inbox for their response.  I've passed the final manuscript to a handful of "Reader" BN-manager-friends, and their feedback has been positive - even with the novel's Conservative subject matter: 

" I am about 1/3 of the way through your book and I am so impressed and in awe of your craftsmanship, your creativity and your storytelling ability. I'm not good at reviews and analysis, because I tend to mentally and emotionally immerse myself - especially on a first read, but your sense of pacing and timing are flawless. I love the way you bring a scene to life with just enough description, but not so much that it slows down the story or alters the tone. I have never read a scene like the "SOUND of SILENCE." I really struggle with the words for how that affected me - so powerful, so deep and so visual. RAW, RAW, RAW emotion through words only, absolutely gut-wrenchingly fucking amazing. "

After decades of rejection, it's nice to get some good news for a change.
After decades of rejection, I'm (cautiously) allowing myself to feel joy.

Picture"Yes, Ma'am. That's the border of Mexico."
AND THERE IS NO GREATER JOY than to watch the Democrats scramble to shore up our *Border Tsar*, before the convention in a few weeks.  Chuckling.  I can't help but think that we've opened a Pandora's Box, especially with Kamala's ultra left-wing agenda.  I can't wait to see the commercials.  It will be fun to watch how the Liberal media spins its message with Steven Spielberg sitting behind the director's chair.  Unlike Joe, Kamala won't require quite so many jump-cuts, and she can make it through a 30-second take without having to pause for a sip of Laudanum.  Today's Secret Service testimony seems to be setting the tone for the immediate news cycle, which is great because it gives the Democrats time to prepare a winning election narrative just in time for the Democratic Convention in August.  I'm reminded of Dungeons & Dragons from the 80s, when we'd carefully build a character from scratch, in preparation for the *quest* in our best friend's basement.  We need an axe, check ✅.  We need a spell-bag, check ✅.  We need a magic donkey, check ✅.  We need a teleprompter, check ✅.  We need a debit card connected to the Treasury, check ✅.  We need Schumer to press Kamala's pant suits, check ✅.  The list is overwhelming, and the Dem's have just over two weeks to pull it all together. 

PictureGet out the Vote.
​I sometimes find myself switching to CNN during Fox shows, to compare how they're reporting the topics of the day.  They never match of course, but it's still fun how two different networks cover the same story - especially with CNN's/MSNBC's unabashed bias. It's disgusting with how the Liberal media is downplaying Trump's assassination attempt, even going so far to imply that it was staged (on one local SF-area blog that I read).  Chuckling - well, considering that Hollywood is helping the DNC with its razzle-dazzle, they'd certainly be the expert at staging.  

And the stage is set for the most important election of our lifetime, a literal Civil War between two competing ideologies.  Quite frankly, it's our last chance to get our heads out of our asses, and to fix this nation which will lead to healing the planet - all done as humanity begins exploring the stars.  Our race is on the cusp of both Quantum Computing & commercial Space Travel, and we're about to realize just how small our world is. Once we start to understand that humanity has a cosmic destiny, we'll quickly realize how petty - and damaging - our partisan fighting has been.  We're destined to achieve ✨time travel✨ in 1000 years, people!  Even Elon Musk is giving the Trump campaign millions - can we not see how important that is?   

W
hen the world's richest man gives Donald both cash and his endorsement, that's kind of a big "wow..."  

Picture
The famous SETI *Wow* signal, from August 15th, 1977.
What's the frequency, Kamala?
Cosmic food for thought.💫
​

- Sir Dave
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Hit Me With Your Best Schott

7/14/2024

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Picture
Trump is a *true* World Leader.
I WAS TUGGING THE LAPELS OF MY SCHOTT PERFECTO Saturday afternoon, as I stood in the mirror, trying my leather jacket on.  I've put on weight after sitting at my computer for a year writing When People Go Away, and I was curious to see if it still fit - which it does, barely.  I have two *good* leather jackets: A Vanson and a Schott, and both retail for around $1000.  I alternate between the two whenever I go to the bar in colder months, and as summer is too hot for a jacket, I keep my Schott draped over the back of my desk chair because I like to look at it (and count down the days until I can wear it again).  Returning the coat to the back of the chair, I resumed ironing my clothes for Touche - with Fox on in the background.  I've been working all week at my new job, so I'm not as current on the news as I should be; rather than MeTV, I was watching Fox News - and their live coverage of Trump's Pennsylvania rally.  Steam rose from the iron as I carefully pressed my dress shirt & jeans as the rally's revelers danced to both "Macho Man" & "YMCA," before the music played Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA."  I smiled when Donald finally took the stage, as I stared at the television with a shit-eating grin on my face.  I love Donald Trump.  I often watch his rally videos on YouTube.  I quickly finished ironing, then settled on my couch with my bootblack kit, as I began to polish my Wescos.  As luck would have it, I was watching LIVE coverage when the gunshots erupted, and Trump was brought to the ground.  My world fell silent.  I actually started to cry.  But my tears of grief quickly turned to joy, when Trump stood back up surrounded by Secret Service agents and gave the crowd his FIGHT!-FIGHT!-FIGHT!-fist.  He refused to allow an attempted assassination to disrupt his campaign.  And when I saw that, I cried even harder.
PictureThis is an Axios image.
I watched Fox News for the next ten hours, abandoning my plans to go out.  I was expecting a 🚨*siren*🚨from Drudge on my phone, but when the assassination attempt finally made the website's banner,  it wasn't even red.  I then started flipping between Fox & CNN, to compare the networks' coverage.  Fox was filled with patriotic interviews from people who were at the event.  Sure, CNN had a few of those moments, but it's overall story focused less on human drama,  and more on the logistics of how a shooter got so close in the first place.  I paid careful attention to what footage CNN aired, and to my surprise, they showed the full 2.5 minutes -  though I did notice that they muted Donald's "No - Wait!" order (when he was surrounded by agents, right before he raised his fist) when they played the video.  I felt horrible for thinking this, but I immediately realized: Biden can use this as an excuse to cancel any/all public appearances, going forward.  The moment it was clear that Donald Trump was safe, my mind began to wonder on what this event means on a global scale:
  • Trump just showed the world how strong of a Leader he will be.
  • Biden's remarks were very well-written, but he exited the podium looking small & feeble.   
  • If *I* were an overseas despot, I'm realizing that Trump just won the election - and if I'm going to invade Taiwan, nuke Ukraine, attack Israel, or send troops into Seoul, I have, roughly, a five-month window to put the operation together - assuming that it's not in the works, already.
Personally, I'm far more worried in what's happening overseas than I am with what's going to happen with our nation's November election.  As I've mentioned in previous blogs, there's a game of Global Chess being played, with the fate of the world going to the victor.  Biden's like a weak chess player pitted against other world leaders who think twenty moves ahead.  What Donald had demonstrated in how he brazenly stood his ground after being shot, is the type of strength that we haven't seen in a leader since Ronald Reagan was in office.  Joe is pathetic when compared to Trump, and with all the fires burning on the globe, circumstances are ripe for a Night of Long Knives on a worldwide scale.  I mean, think about that.  We all remember our history.  Imagine a scenario where our enemies decide that Joe's too weak to stand up for US interests, allowing our adversaries to launch coordinated attacks on Taiwan, Seoul, Israel, & Ukraine - within *hours* of each other.  The current administration would be completely overwhelmed, especially if events also coincided with a massive cyber attack on our communications, utility, and banking systems.  We'd be in the exact situation that William R. Forstchen described in his chilling 2009 book One Second After. In the novel, the United States is attacked with a large EMP, completely disrupting society.  The lights go off.  Cars stop in the streets.  Computers, radios, phones, and anything with an electronic chip cease working.  Planes, dependent on electronics, fall from the skies.  Fires erupt in the streets.  The only thing working is the water pressure, but that slowly dissipates as community water towers go dry (as the pumps that fill them are electric).  In less than a week, society crumbles and we realize that we are completely at the mercy of the country that attacked us.  It's an unsettling thought that's been going through my mind these past two days, and I hope to God that a thought is all it is.

PictureTrump *didn't* break down in tears. Though I will admit, I often wonder if he cries over the condition of our country when he's alone.
ON THE SUBJECT OF UNSETTLING THOUGHTS, I also took note of a story that got lost in the news.  Alec Baldwin's Rust-shooting trial was halted, as the Judge tossed it out of court - and barred it from being retried.  Like I did when Trump was shot, Baldwin broke down in tears on hearing the news.  I couldn't help but wonder if anyone noticed the parallel between Alec's trial and Donald's trial. (Chuckling - each dodged a bullet, ba-dum-dum.)  Both high-profile events had biased, aggressive prosecutors who tried to railroad innocent men.  The only difference was that Baldwin's judge would have none of it, and for the first time I actually felt pity for Alec; I've avoided his films since he parodied Trump on SNL a few years back.  

Here's a clip from my 5/31/2017 Blog Archive:


​" A few weeks back I was watching video of Donald Trump boarding Air Force One, on his way to give the commencement speech at Virginia's Liberty University.  I saw him leave the motorcade, climb the airplane's exterior staircase, and pause at the top before entering the fuselage.  As usual, he turned to wave at the cameras, and I was struck by the "loneliness" of the entire image.  There was no one visible waiting inside the cabin and unlike most recent flights, no First Lady at his side.  The President was alone, completely alone, and the visual became the perfect metaphor of his Presidency so far.  And I don't mean that as a bad thing.  As I've said many times, I really like President Donald Trump.

SNL pulled out all the stops in its season finale before the POTUS  left the country for his first overseas trip. Alec Baldwin donned his yellow wig & orange makeup, the Rock & Tom Hanks announced their 2020 candidacy, and anti-Trump politics fueled the following sketches, inserting politics into everything possible.   I was reminded of something I'd read about a week ago, and please forgive me but I can't remember the source. It was a news story that described how SNL has crossed the line between comedy and "ridicule," and it focused on Sean Spicer - and Melissa McCarthy's increasingly-cruel portrayal of him.  It's one thing to "mock" a public figure, like Kate Mckinnon's dead-on Clinton impression (the way she moves her hands like claws is spit-out-your-coffee brilliant).   But unlike Darrell Hammond's equally dead-on Trump  ("a-ba-ba-baaaah"), Baldwin's impersonation is as offensive as black-face ... and I'm completely baffled that the PC-movement allows it to happen.   And as a gay Trump supporter, whenever I watch comedians like Baldwin ridicule the President, it's hard not to feel like they're ridiculing me. " 
​

Forgive my crassness, but I hope that Alec Baldwin has learned a lesson.  More importantly, I hope he shares that experience with others in the Hollywood community - and people like Seth Mcfarlane will stop ruining my (former) favorite programs, by inserting their unwanted Liberal Woke agendas into their storylines. I will admit though, that when I saw the video of Baldwin break down in sobs in court, I felt like Eric Cartman licking salty tears off Scott Tenorman's face.  

​Moving on ...

PictureThe Schott *Perfecto* - Every dirtbag's favorite!
I WAS SHOWING ALEXANDER the quilted lining of my Schott biker's jacket yesterday evening, as we watched the assassination-attempt coverage together on TV.  Alexander is my new roommate. He was born of necessity.  As I've spent every dime I have writing When People Go Away, in a desperate attempt to avoid foreclosure, I've both gotten a full-time job *and* a new renter for my extra room.  Alexander is...unusual.  He's perfect for my home's The Young Ones vibe.  He's a skinny white dude in his forties, wickedly intelligent with a long goatee & mohawk, and he works as a meat cutter in a high-end grocery store.  He describes himself as a conservative anarchist.  I knew I was going to rent to him five minutes into the interview, and after he moved all his stuff in Saturday, we both shared a bowl to relax.  With Fox News in the background - and a haze of marijuana smoke, swirling in the green light of my neon cactus - the two of us bonded by talking music, books, and global politics.  I can't believe how much my life has changed these past few years, and as Dane made tacos for everybody in the kitchen (with meat that Alexander had brought home from work), I looked at him, then Alexander, then to Vinnie (my younger cat) - and smiled.  I feel the same freedom now that I first felt when I moved out of my parent's house at 18; that's an exhilarating thing to say for a man of fifty-five, and I'm enjoying every moment of it.  I'm so happy, I actually feel like reading again, and I'm tempted to re-read Sybil, or Richard Baer's incredible Switching Time. I have a growing pile of unread hardcovers by my bedroom door, and it's been years since I've been current on Preston/Child's Pendergast novels.  But, I'm not starting ANY-thing new until Amazon delivers the new Crichton/Patterson book; from Pirate's Latitudes to Dragon Teeth, I just love how they keep finding *new* unpublished Michael Crichton manuscripts hidden in the coffin.⚰️

But going back to Alexander, as the buzz kicked in, we ended up discussing history.  I showed him my blog, and pointed out a few of the better ones; he agrees with me in that black people deserve Reparations - and that most modern Liberals are completely off their rockers.  He also agreed about the fall of the Roman Empire, and, when you consider the lessons of history, even the *strongest* of nations can vanish, in less than a generation.  We both concurred the current state of our country is dire, and that Trump is the man who can fix that.  I'm not sure if our motivations are the same; I want to see Donald save the nation of course, but I suspect that Alexander just wants to see the shit show💩.  Either way, I'm looking forward to getting to know Alexander in the months to come.  While watching television in the living room, I overheard him telling Dane in the kitchen that he's also used a Food Pantry, as Dane & I had to do a few months back.  It's funny how God gives us just the right people at just the right time we need them, and I'm already thinking about Christmas.  Six months ago, I gave Dane a vintage leather jacket I'd acquired some years ago.  It would be nice to have enough money saved to buy him a Schott of his own.  

PictureTrump's Air B&B.
I WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED IN TRUMP this Sunday afternoon, while I was cleaning the house with Fox News on in the background.  I was listening for his voice.  I thought he'd do a press conference or something, or an ALL CAPS post on Truth Social, at least.  But then it dawned on me: the man nearly d i e d two days ago, and if ANYONE deserved a SICK DAY, it was him.  Once I realized that, I did a quick Google search to see if there was any mention of Melania & Barrom going to see him in person - which I could not find.  I was trying to imagine what might be going through his head on a day like yesterday: Did he call his wife & family?  Did he talk to Biden again?  Did Hannity drop by for a visit w/donuts?  Was he watching the news?  I remember almost dying myself two years ago, and the strange sort of serenity that I felt before things turned around.  (That topic is covered in detail, in early posts of this blog, btw.)   I recall the feeling of everything slipping away, then followed unexpectedly by the sensation of rushing water - like floodgates in a dam.   What I remember most is how that moment changed me, how I suddenly had a genuine understanding of what life is really about: We must love each other, and love what we do with our lives.  I imagined how Donald must have felt in the moments when Secret Service helped him to his feet.  The surge of energy had to be incredible, at it was clearly a miracle he survived the sniper's bullet.  I often wonder what Trump's own belief system is.  Does he believe in God?  I'm pretty sure he doesn't go to church, but does he pray like I do?  During free moments during the day?  Talking to God as though he were in the car seat next to my own?  I like to think that's the case.  Chuckling - people often think that I'm talking to myself when I'm alone in my truck, so I can totally relate.

PictureThis is one of my 10 *desert island* albums.
BUT GOING BACK TO THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, I want reiterate that our nation is on the wrong path with a weak President in office.  Donald has demonstrated the type of *global leader* he really is, and Joe can't hold a candle to that.  And, to the White House's chagrin, the media has started to drop the party line - as Joe's mental decline has become too dangerous to ignore.  No, they're not stopping their assault on Trump, they're just dialing it back a notch during the Republican convention.  They've backed themselves into a corner.  CNN's very-thorough analysis of the event's security lapses can only go so far without real testimonials from the MAGA supporters they intentionally suppress. The Liberal Democrat agenda is literally falling apart with every Fox News alert, and the public is witnessing our era's ugly truth: Corruption, from the court system to the White House - and a media that's been hiding the truth.  I pray that my fears of global unrest in the next few months are unjust, and I hope to God that Trump has a Reagan-esque landslide, sending Liberals packing - with their heads held in shame.  

Our nation literally *dodged a bullet* with the attempted assassination of Former President Trump.  And I say that because I genuinely believe that Mr. Trump will win the election, because of his character.  

 🎶 "You're a real tough cookie with a long history, of breaking little hearts like the one in me - 🎶
 🎶  That's okay, let's see how you're doin' - put up your dukes, let's get right to it!" 🎶


He may be loud, he may not be Woke, but the man has balls of gold-plated steel.
And that's the character of a Character with character, and he's got my vote.


 🎶 "Hit me with your best shot! ... Why don't you hit me with your best shot! ... 🎶

I just wish he'd get rid of his 1980s Pat Benatar hair. 

 🎶 
"Hit me with your best Schott! ...🎶​
​

 🔥Fire away, Mr. President.🔥

- Sir Dave

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Kamala, Kamala, Kamala Down, Doobie-Doo, Down-Down ...

7/4/2024

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Picture
One of the many "office calendar cartoons" I drew for Handy Andy's 1995 Going Out of Business sale.
THUNDERCLOUDS RUMBLED IN THE DISTANCE one fine summer morning, as I stood in the debris-filled parking lot, lighting a cigarette.  The year was 1995, and I was working as an Area Manager for Handy Andy Home Improvement Centers, the largest Home Improvement chain in the Chicago area at the time.  It had been an active year for tornadoes, and several had touched down overnight.  As luck would have it, *I* was the day's opening manager, and I could already tell that my shift would be a busy one.  Part of our exterior sign had fallen in the previous night's wind; the word "Andy" lay shattered within our fenced Lawn & Garden Department.  The phone was already ringing when I entered the building, and I could hear numerous dripping roof leaks in the darkness of the sales floor.  When I answered the telephone, the call-offs began: several of my employees had damage to their houses, and had to stay home to make insurance claims.  I also got a call from "Less," the Assistant Manager.  Less had been going through a messy divorce, and I could tell that he had been up all night drinking. "I'm running a little late," he slurred, audibly lighting a Pall Mall on the phone.  "You should put the generators up front today.  The shop-vac's too."  I complied, got the store open with what staff I had, and began the process of calling repairmen - and filling out incident reports for the property damage.  
PictureWhy are these monogrammed, "H Biden?"
In addition to the storm, I remember that year clearly for two reasons: 1 - it was the year Home Depot arrived to the market (and wiped our entire company out of business in less than 12 months); and 2 - that was the year OJ was found "not-guilty."  The Simpson trial played out in the background as our company scrambled to get ready for Home Depot's arrival.  In 1995, Handy Andy had been in business for decades.  We were used to being the ONLY big hardware store in Chicago, and our business model hadn't been updated since the 70's. Employees were "territorial," and refused cross an aisle to help a customer in a different department.  Salaried salesmen were predatorial, and worked on commission - often stealing customers from hourly employees. Even though the store wasn't unionized, the whole place had a "union" attitude and spoke openly about things they didn't like about the company.  The cashiers were gossipy.  Everyone made crude jokes.  The way male employees treated female employees would be totally unacceptable by today's HR standards, and when I think back to the things we said to each other, I wince.  The entire store felt as though it were trapped in the past, especially with the 50s/60s music we played on the sales floor.  As the Depot's approaching stores were new, uniform & organized, no two Handy Andy's were alike; one of our stores was actually a repurposed bowling alley, and its wooden floors *creaked* when customers walked on them.  Our last year of business was spent frantically cleaning up the place, and patching the many OSHA violations that plagued our aging buildings. 

Picture
Our last year in business. Our store was an OSHA nightmare.
​As Home Depot started to open stores, Handy Andy began closing stores.  My location was in the first round of cuts, and while a ragtag group of Chicagoland locations still clung onto survival, my own became a liquidation sale.  It was actually kind of fun for me.  I was a young 25, so I had plenty of time to find another management job.  (Rather than unemployment, I just got a restaurant gig in the meantime - which paid considerably more).  Consequently, I was in the position to *enjoy* the GOING OUT OF BUSINESS sale, and that I did as you can tell from all the cartoons I drew.  (All seven of my Handy Andy comics are available under the "Dave's Cartoons" tab above, btw.)  From the moment we learned the OJ Trial's verdict, our company's final months were hysterical. Both corporate & retail employees had the same dead-eyed stare that you can see right now behind Karine Jean-Pierre's beautiful eyeshadow, during daily press conferences.  "There's nothing to see here" was our business's attitude when our corporate staff was slashed in HALF without any notice.  Then, like "Flippy's" Happy Tree Friends flashbacks, our vested hourly employees began disappearing one-by-one, while the Liquidator made Draconian cuts to payroll, keeping only the lowest-paid staff.  As the last manager standing, it was my responsibility to keep the registers running - and the aisles somewhat free from debris.  Our store fell apart.  We couldn't afford a cleaning service anymore, so the bathrooms stunk like urine.  Nobody cared about anything, and the more aisles we sold/closed off, the ruder both staff & customers became. Towards the end, it devolved into a free-for-all, a Saigon-like evacuation of the Liquidator, and a handful of remaining staff.  In many ways, it mirrored what's happening now in the Biden White House - as the cat's outta' the bag with our Commander & Chief's cognitive decline.  Like an old store with a looming closing date, the Biden Administration knows it's days are numbered.
Picture"The President did NOT fall asleep; he was meditating!"
"COMMA, COMMA, COMMA down, doobie-doo down-down," played on my Bose Wave Radio this morning as I briefly paused on the 50s/60s station, while looking for something to listen to.  I already had Fox News on in the background, and I was getting ready for my new job, managing a public storage facility.  It was fitting to hear oldies music when watching Karine Jean-Pierre's "Baghdad Bob" impression while pressed with questions about Biden's obvious mental decline.  After his debate performance, it's clear that our President is not fit for office, and that his staff has been hiding this situation for years.  It was fun watching Karine bend, twist, and contort herself while attempting to answer reporters' questions about Joe's cognitive state.  As expected, she went on the attack; her denials reminded me of Johnnie Cochran in the nineties, in how she deflected growing evidence that her client (Joe) wasn't guilty of growing old.  I'll spare you the debate-analysis; it's already been done in the media.  What I will say is that, unlike Clinton's Press Secretary in the 90s, Jean-Pierre has a *real* problem on her hands. Biden's dementia (?) has become such an issue, even the Liberal Media is calling for his resignation. Commentators on CNN, MSNBC, and the big three networks are united in unison, with Joe's mental state now included in their talking points. Coupled with that, the dangers overseas have grown with ferocity, and if there ever was a time for the United States to intervene, this is it.   But our current President can barely walk up a flight of stairs, let alone make hard decisions about the potential of war.  China🔥, Russia🔥, North Korea🔥, The Middle East🔥 - all of these places can "go nuclear" at any time. But our current administration isn't capable of wielding US might, and for that reason, the world has become a very dangerous place.  Gone are the claims that "Biden is full of energy behind closed doors."   It honestly gives me h i v e s to know how serious this is, but the media seems to have finally caught on - and is actively calling for Biden to step aside for the next election. 

​Quite frankly, this is too little, too late.

Picture"Bwa, ha ha ha ha...!"
I just don't understand how Liberals can't see how dangerous the world has become.  This thought is magnified by the talk of making Kamala Harris the Democratic nominee before the Chicago convention in August. Now, THAT'S gonna' be a shit-show.  As a resident of liberal Chicago, I can already imagine what kind of Spielberg-esque spectacle the Dem's have planned for August.  With Joe's sad performance after eight days of debate-prep, I expect to see a dais packed with the predictable: Pelosi 🤮.  Schumer 🤮.  Obama 🤮.  The Clintons 🤮.  The squad 🤮.  When  I think about how little our "Border Tsar" has accomplished these past four years, it's no wonder when you consider that her boss was *literally* asleep.   Shh! - Don't wake up Joe because China wants Taiwan and Russia is aggressively rebuilding the Soviet empire.  Don't *nudge* the President when the DPRK launches missiles into the Sea of Japan, or when Hezbollah fires rockets into Tel Aviv.  Did Joe even notice that Putin paid Kim a visit on the despot's own turf a few weeks back?  And how about that border, Madame Border Tsar?  Have you given Arizona a visit?  Checked out a yarn store in Phoenix?  Enjoyed an ice cream shop in Scottsdale, perhaps?  Have you done ANYTHING that a voter can rattle off as an accomplishment?  Sure, Joe's mental decline is worrisome, but the thought of a Harris Administration is chilling.  This woman is as competent to run a country as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (who reminds me of "Janice" from the Muppets, btw), and if she really does get the Democratic nomination, that all but guarantees a Republican victory with Trump. 

​Again, for the Liberals, it's too little, too late.

PictureDictator on Day One.
"I WILL BE DICTATOR ON DAY ONE," Donald often trumpets during his MAGA gatherings, leading to cheers from the crowd.  This statement scares the *shit* out of Democrats, and it's fun to watch them scramble on television with shaky voices and carefully-edited Trump sound bites.  As of today, they're still caught up on Donald's "dictator" comment, refusing to show the second part of Trump's sentence: "But only on day one!" Add to that, Hillary's written yet another memoir: something lost, something gained.  (Kind of sounds like Capote's "Other Voices, Other Rooms," doesn't it?)  According to Amazon, Clinton's book is about "Reflections on Life, Love, and Liberty."  Kudos on the alliteration I guess, but does anyone reeeeeeally care what Hill's been up to since penning her third autobiography?  (I seem to remember she drank a lot of Chardonnay.)  I mean, how much more can she say?  Does her book have recipes?  Puzzles?  Is it a *pop up*, with a special chapter on her husband?  This is the part that I really miss from my seventeen years with Barnes & Noble: I'm not current with new titles.  I have a hard enough time keeping up with Preston & Child, so I'm not "in the know" with what customers are saying about Hillary's book.  That being said, I do pay attention to Amazon, so I have a good idea of what political titles are available.  

But back to the Orange Man, when you think about Trump's "dictator" comment, you really have to wonder how seriously the Liberals are taking him.  Do they honestly think he's Hitler?  It would actually reassure me if they did, because that means that at least SOME Democrats still remember their history books.  Considering the condition of the border, Donald NEEDS to be a dictator for a day to scare the hell out of everyone - illegals, the leaders of other countries, Liberals.  Our country is in such terrible shape, our next President *literally* has to be a bully-in-the-safe-space, and YANK everyone back into exceptionalism - no matter how many feelings he hurts. I'll save you the diatribe, especially as I've already covered my opinions in previous blogs, but I will say that the current state of our nation is no less than terrifying.  People have grown lazy, both physically & intellectually. We're so distracted by social media & Woke-selfishness that most of the current generation doesn't pay attention to the news.  Putin, Jinping, & Kim Jong UGH are all *literal* dictators - and they're aggressively expanding their empires with Ukraine, Taiwan, and South Korea, respectfully.  All of these countries have horrendous human rights records, and they make no secret they do not like the West. 

Now, add President Biden into the mix - a man that even the media admits has senior moments - and this world is almost ready to explode, without strong American leadership.  I think we all can agree that Joe can't do the job, unless Jill Biden is doing an Edith Bolling Galt Wilson sorta' thing. 
(Didn't you just love her black "Vote" dress, btw?) ​Annnnnnd, who does that leave us?  Kamala doesn't strike me as an "aggressive" second-in-command.  To me, she channels Hillary every time she wears a pantsuit, and her only accomplishment I can think of off the top of my head is the fact that she has fewer "gaffes" than Joe Biden - and she does a better job thinking on her feet.  The only time I really see her in the media, is to be a distraction to something Joe has done - like her post-debate appearances.  She's become more vocal in her last few major video/sound-bites, and it's clear she's being prepared to have an Oval Office chair shoved up her H&M trousers, just...in...case.  The Democrats have backed themselves into a corner with this one. If the situation weren't so serious, it would be LOL-funny.  But the situation IS unsettling: our sitting President is unfit for office, and his second-in-command isn't much better.  Even worse - and I know this isn't PC, but I'm just going to say it - can you imagine that Kamala Harris might be both our first female - and black - President?  With her level of competence?  Remember that Putin/Kim visit mentioned above?  And China?  And the Middle East?  And the border?  What we're looking at is *The Perfect Storm* of opportunity for our adversaries, and I'm deeply concerned that if the rumors of Biden's resignation are true, we may see sudden changes with territories overseas.  

PictureOur nation is BROKE.
IT'S FUNNY HOW MUCH our nation's current state reminds me of Handy Andy's last few months of business.  The store was dirty, the displays were falling apart, and the staff didn't give a rat's ass whether a customer had a good experience or not.  Our employer was closing.  It was every man for himself.  And the dirty little secret was that it all could have been avoided, had Handy Andy changed its business model before Home Depot was even on the radar.  The chain had the chance to endear itself to customers, to use its quirky stores as a way to bond with the community.  The company could have followed the path of Menards, a chain that survived the Depot, and found a way to thrive.  But it stubbornly clung to outdated practices that ultimately led to its demise.  Handy Andy didn't have to close.  It just had the wrong leadership, and by the time it realized that fact, it was too little, too late.  Many people lost their jobs, and ultimately went to work for our competitors - and several are still there, today. That's actually a great metaphor for what's happening in America now - a superpower that's lost its way, and is close to losing its world standing.  We're about to be *absorbed* by stronger adversaries, and once that happens - slowly, very slowly - we'll lose the freedom that we've all taken for granted.  This is not the time for a feeble President, or an ineffective Vice President, should Kamala take Joe's place. We are in a pivotal place in history, and the leaders we elect now will be the first to govern as we explore the heavens with public & private space programs. This is a time when we need a strong President, and not a man who falls asleep during reelection strategy meetings - or a Vice President whose laugh sounds methodical.

​We have entered the 🌎Age of Aquarius🌍, and the dawn of both quantum computing & commercial space travel.  As a capitalist nation, the United States is at this era's epicenter - but we'll never reach our full potential without competent leaders who have a vision for the future.  Assuming we're not at war yet, our next President will shape our country's destiny for generations to come - so, who we pick this coming November is crucial.

The ​only good thing if Kamala *does* run for President, is that Donald has prior experience defeating a pantsuit.✨
​

- Sir Dave

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