David Alan Dedin
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Rock Me, Rock Me, Rock Me Sexy Jesus

3/27/2024

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Picture
Not as funny as "Hasa Diga Eebowai," but still delightfully offensive in it's own way.
HAMLET 2 IS A SATIRICAL MASTERPIECE, a "Dementedly Hilarious" 2008 hidden gem on the scale of Tropic Thunder, Kingpin, and Christopher Guest mocumentaries.  On the surface, the movie mocks Christianity; its "Sexy Jesus" number is as intentionally offensive as The Producer's "Springtime for Hitler."  But, that's just at a first-glimpse of the film.  Like When People Go Away, the movie's true intent doesn't hit you until a second viewing - after the initial LOL'ing of Steve Koogan's portrayal of a down-and-out, alcoholic, High School drama teacher who moves Heaven & Earth to bring the world his *unconventional* masterpiece.  The film's real message is how a nearly-broken GenX man successfully finds a way to work with the youth of today, and bridge the gap between two generational belief systems by creating a piece of art.  
PictureRock me, Sexy Jesus!
It's funny to learn that Hamlet 2 came from the South Park people, the guys who gave us the equally-hysterical Book of Mormon Broadway show.  I used to love South Park.  In its heyday, it was deliciously-raunchy cutting-edge humor - at least until the 2016 Election, when the show made a sharp left turn into politics.  Like Family Guy's brazen anti-Conservative message (which has totally ruined one of my favorite shows, btw), South Park charged forward with the assumption that Hillary would win, and turned Mr. Garrison into a Donald Trump caricature who literally shit in the woods, like a bear.  The Liberal message wasn't a shock of course, though I was a little surprised that the show went balls-to-the-wall in attacking Caitlin Jenner - mocking the loss of life in her car accident.  (It was obviously done because Jenner is a Republican, further proving the Democrat's double-standard by making fun of a special interest group.)  What offended me most was that the show just got bad for two seasons, as Donald's election ruined their pre-planned story-arc.  Like the appeals court's reversal of Letita James' unnecessarily-hefty fine, South Park found itself backed into a corner - and had to scramble to wrap-up the politics FAST, quickly moving the series to - appropriately - a 🪴*weed farm*🪴.  The whole anti-Conservative storyline damaged South Park's relevancy, and the show really hasn't been the same since. 

​Pity.  I really liked Mr. Slave ...
PictureRush saved my life; I haven't been the same since he died.
IT'S FUNNY HOW PROGRAMS like South Park always seem to forget that Conservatives might actually watch their shows, too.  In the world of television, *viewers* are really a program's "customers," and like any business, the last thing you want to do is to piss off the people who you hope will buy your product. This phenomena is everywhere on Liberal television, from South Park & Family Guy to scripted dramas like Law & Order SVU.  I used to watch the Law & Order's every week, but their in-your-face left-wing agenda has made me delete the franchise from my DVR: I don't need Olivia Benson scolding me for being a Republican, when her unit battles with the violence, murder, and sexual assault within a poorly-run Democratic city.  I first noticed this trend twenty years ago, while watching Six Feet Under - one of my all-time favorite dramas.  I was a bookstore manager at the time, and I was familiar with the political titles of the day.  In one SFU episode, the program opens with a close-up of George Sibley reading an Bush-bashing current affairs title; I was so disgusted, I boycotted the final season for years.  Family Guy takes the concept to a whole new level, with brazen, anti-MAGA messages - splayed across the bottom of the screen in many episodes.  They're not even subtle about it.  The program blatantly insults viewers like myself, then expects us to return the following week - and buy their advertiser's stuff.  (Chuckling.)  In addition to its condescending Liberal message, I've also noticed Family Guy's MANY BDSM REFERENCES over the years.  I think it's fairly obvious that Seth Macfarlane has a dungeon in his basement - and, speaking of "Mr. Slave," it's pretty clear he's not a top.  

It's a shame that Hollywood has lost its grandeur, in favor of Political Correctness.  With the exception of Last Night in Soho, I can't remember the last really good film that I've seen in a theater.  Most of the decent programming I've watched lately has come from Netflix (like Velvet Buzzsaw), Fargo w/Jon Hamm, and Capote vs. The Swans on specialty cable.  Hollywood has gotten so damn...childish.  The awards shows have such Liberal venom, they've become unwatchable.  I YouTube'd the 2024 Oscars opening, and Jimmy Kimmel barely made it 4 minutes into his monologue before taking a snipe at the GOP's State of the Union rebuttal.  I have a dear gay friend in the BDSM Community who works in Las Angeles; he works in lighting.  He's talented at what he does, he's lived in LA for 30 years, and he's contributed to many popular sitcoms.  But even as a fellow Leatherman, he can't tell a soul he votes Republican, because, like Communists in the 50s, he'll be blacklisted by the entertainment industry.  It's heartbreaking to hear his stories, the shameless intolerance that exists in Hollywood Liberalism, when it comes to Conservative Voters/Viewers.  Again, I go back to a recurring theme of this blog: It's disgusting at how those who preach tolerance are often the most intolerant of all.  And in the case of this fellow Sir, the world of television has missed many golden opportunities, as my buddy has walked me through the numerous projects he's envisioned that can never see the light of day, because their characters are Conservative.  I mean, from a strictly business point-of-view, conservative ideas are a *goldmine*, because there are so few of them on TV.  Yet, rather than seizing a chance to breathe new life into a wheezing industry (and to make millions in the process), the Las Angeles Elite refuses to even acknowledge their "customer base," opting instead to stick to Democratic talking points...and to suppress people like me, a Proud Gay Republican who happens to disagree with them. 🤬
Picture"Look, Dude, I'm just a friggin' CASTAWAY!"
THE FOX NEWS BREAKING STORY alert splashed across my screen yesterday morning, when I awoke to learn that the Francis Scott Key Bridge had collapsed after a collision with a cargo ship. Like everyone, my first thought was terrorism - and I'm pleased that as of today, it doesn't seem to be the case.  As the story continued to dominate the news cycle, I began to consider the gravity of losing the Baltimore port - and how that loss would affect US commerce in the weeks & months to come. I began to think about what "goods" were moved through the facility: Food? Electronics? Automobiles? Packages for the nearby Amazon facility?  At least it isn't oil, I thought, Otherwise, we'd not only have higher gas prices, but a potential environmental spill as well.  I started to ponder how *precarious* our economy actually is - and how an accident at a port on the upper East Coast will have repercussions that ripple throughout the country.  That thought segued into the topic of open southern border in my previous blog, and I felt a genuine shudder when this hit me: Imagine the damage that could be done with an *intentional* attack on a major US Port, if initiated by an enemy who entered the country illegally - and had the time to plan such a disaster, like the 9/11 terrorists?  That thought was coupled with a SECOND realization: The world is now aware of our crumbling infrastructure, and we're spending so much money/time on Liberal social programs that we're not paying attention to potential National Security issues - like the obvious need to replace an outdated bridge within a major port of commerce.  People just don't realize how vulnerable our nation has grown under weak Democratic leadership.  So long as the cable works, the Amazon packages arrive, and the GrubHub drivers leave the pizza by the door, the symptom of a disturbing trend stands true: Americans have gotten lazy, and if we don't get off our asses, our sedimentary lifestyle will soon be taken away.  The sound of the cargo ship ramming the bridge's pylon was a literal *SLAP* in our faces, and unless we wake up to it's danger - and vote for Trump in the upcoming election - we'll have no couches left to sit on, while watching Jimmy Kimmel mock our values on TV.  Chuckling.  Speaking of "waking up," someone might want to give Mr. Biden a *nudge* on this one ...

Going back to Hamlet 2, one thing I love about the film is that every time I watch the movie, I catch some little detail I'd missed.  The scene where Steve Coogan waking up on the couch in the field with his pants around his ankles comes to mind; the film never explains how he got there, though it's clearly implied that he was assaulted after a drunken blackout.  It's hard not to make the same comparison to the day in the near-future when Liberals do the same, when the overseas threats that Conservatives have been shouting about finally happens in the biggest possible way.  We'll find ourselves on our own sofas-in-the-fields, jarred awake by our device's EBS - as multiple EMP's disrupt our goods, services, and communications - while Chinese warplanes fly over the West Coast, as Russia's attack from the East.  Yes, that's an *intentionally* alarmist scenario, but that's the point. Modern Liberalism has created a dangerous apathy within our population, and when we finally move to defend ourselves, we won't have any guns - or Generals trained in combat, rather than special interest studies.  I mentioned in my previous post that China has a missile that can destroy our carriers - the primary way the USA wields military might - with the push of a button.  Our world has become a cauldron of instability, and without American leadership, the lives that we currently enjoy will Go Away.  Do schools even teach basic history anymore?  Does anyone remember what happened to the Romans?  The Roman Empire lasted 1000 years before it got complacent, and was overtaken by stronger peoples.  We all seem to think that the United States has *always* been here, but in reality we're barely 250 years old.  We rose to our prominence through hard work & American Exceptionalism, but the Liberal trend of apologizing for excellence will destroy our nation even faster than we created it.  

Think about that -
PLEASE ... put down the game controller and think about that !  
Picture"Oh, say can you SEE?"
I COULD ACTUALLY HEAR TRUMP YELL "YOU'RE FIRED!" last night, on learning the news that Ronna McDaniel had been canned from NBC.  Hannity's montage of the NBC hosts' reaction to the firing was disheartening; "Look at how *deep* they're hypocrisy runs!" - and Rachel Maddow's arrogant response was particularly "inexplicable." Their complaining made me realize how exasperated I am with why people just can't SEE what's right in front of their faces.  They were *literally* saying "GO AWAY! WE DON'T LIKE YOU!", like playground bullies & high school cliques - all while keeping a straight face.  Again: Those who preach tolerance are often the most intolerant of all!  It's horrifying that viewers can't see through this staggering bias, but again, "It's hard to view The View" through a cloud of marijuana smoke.  Their hypocrisy is on the scale of Chernobyl.  I'm at the point where I want to storm up to Liberal friends, grab them by the lapels and scream: "HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS?  CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT EVERY MEDIA OUTLET IN THE COUNTRY IS UNITED IN A COORDINATED ATTACK TO DESTROY A SINGLE MAN?  THEY'RE NOT EVEN PRETENDING TO HIDE IT ANYMORE!"  Pardon me for typing like Donald on Truth Social, but if it weren't for people like Hannity, Watters, and the Fox & Friends ensemble, I think I'd totally give up on humanity.✨

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a cannabis smoker, but only *after* the queries are sent, the house is clean, the boy is ironing tomorrow's clothes, the bills that I *can* pay are paid, and the blog has been written.  (Chuckling - it's fun to edit these things with a buzz!😆)  But, as a responsible pot smoker, I *do* observe the Democrat's message at work at my local Dispensary.  I roll my eyes as I stand in line with the Leaders of Tomorrow, when their shirts have anarchist D-cals, when they clearly haven't worked a day in their lives, or when I hear them bash Trump within their personal conversations.  I'm reminded of the musical EVITA, when Che sings: 🎶"Get them while they're young, Evita, get them while they're young..." 🎶  I'm sometimes tempted to start a conversation with one of them, but, well, you know ...
Picture"The Doocy's cookbook was sold out, so I got you this!"
IT IS OFTEN SAID that "we are only three meals away from anarchy," but with the current direction of Liberalism, I think we're much closer than that.  We can barely take the time to give the DoorDash guy a one-star review, let alone to consider the reason he delivered our food in the first place is because he can't make ends meet - and has taken a night job to pay the bills. Democrats have forgotten just how easy it is for our current lifestyle to end, and I wonder how they'll react when late-night talk shows have their content censored by a new President that was put into power by a much-stronger leader from overseas?  And I *don't* mean that Biden will be wearing a Mao-suit of course; what's to come will be far more insidious than that.  The changes that are happening are as slow as a frog gradually boiling in water - an open border here, a collapsed bridge there, a dangerous trend of Democratic policies everywhere, and an unqualified President right in front of our ​faces ...

As a Proud Gay Republican within the Leather Community, the LAST thing we want is "Mr. Slave" in the Oval Office.  Forgive my crassness, but if we don't get our heads out of our asses now, we're going to be reduced into a Socialist welfare state - a slave to a New World Order that doesn't give a damn about Political Correctness. We'll lose the *drive* that made our nation great, and slowly - painfully slowly - we'll find ourselves in the bondage of another Master - and a society with a President who has no real power.  And WHEN we get to that point, we'll finally come to realize that without a strong Conservative government providing an umbrella of protection, we've lost the ability to speak a word of protest.

Word.

Freedom is something Americans have to fight for, as gays fought for the right to live the lives we want.  I think about this often when I don my leather for Touche on the weekends, and stare at myself in the mirror, pulling down my Muir as I listen to yet another viewing of Hamlet 2 on the television. ✨

​Sing along with me now:

🎶 Rock me, rock me, rock me Sexy Jesus! 🎶

- Sir Dave
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Paradise by the Dashboard Border Lights

3/22/2024

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"From the day he was born, he was trouble ... He was a thorn in his Mother's side ..."
HOT PINK FUZZIES AND SHORTS THAT LOOKED LIKE VINYL can be seen on YouTube, during a live performance of Meatloaf's Paradise By the Dashboard Light.  I don't know who the female singer was, but in the video she's "deliciously-1970s" with Ed Wood's sweater, Spanx as tight as rubber diapers, Rocky Horror panty hose, and frizzy hair that flutters like brown dandelion seed.  I remember dancing to the song in gay bars: 🎶"...Well, I remember every little thing, as if it happened only yesterday...🎶...Parking by the lake, and there was not another car in sight..."🎶 Everybody knew the words by heart of course, and the theater-people always brought the number home in the most over-the-top way possible.  It was especially fun to dance to the song in straight clubs, as the heterosexual men nearly spat out their Budweiser when us gay dudes would yank their girlfriends from their arms, and pantomime the song in the most sexual way possible.  It saddens me that Generation Z's/Alpha's have never known the joy of getting drunk off their asses and singing to Meatloaf around the juke box of a local bar.  Chuckling.  Of course, considering the topic of Jessie Watters' hysterical new book, Get it Together, at least the youth of today still knows how to drink.
PictureA Must-Read to all the musty-smelling Liberals.
I'd been watching Watters promote the hell out of his book last week, with the subtly of Letitia James gleefully seizing Trump's assets.  I'm a Hannity fan of course - and I think that Greg Gutfeld is sapiosexual-masturbation material - but Watters is kinda' the guy in the middle, with intelligent wit, a sharp suit & tie, and just the right smidge of Rush Limbaugh's absurdity.  In Get It Together, Watters takes the reader through the ultimate "man on the street" journey, successfully keeping the straightest face possible while interviewing Liberals who smoke toad, cuddle professionally, and somehow maintain their Transgender identity while channeling a - ahem - "wolf."  (Question: as trans dogs lift their legs to pee, would they use a Men's or Woman's bathroom?  ALSO, if they have to take a leak outside, how do they justify pissing on *trees* without hurting the plant's feelings?) It's no secret that I've watched Fox News for decades, and I'm surprised it's taken me this long to take notice of Mr. Watters.  Over the past few weeks, I've been following Jesse's show more closely, especially with his recent stories about our open borders.  I actually lived in Arizona from 1999-2006, and I have first-hand knowledge of how porous our southern border really is.  GW Bush was still our President then, and in the days following 9/11, border security was a serious issue in Phoenix.  I remember local news stories that never made the national cycle for some reason; in these reports (around early 2002), USBP Agents had apprehended Radical Muslims who had tried to cross the border dressed as Mexican immigrants, going so far as to wear "I ❤️ NY" T-shirts & caps w/American flags.  I was reminded of the issue more recently, when attending a local talk by Project Veritas' James O'Keefe (there's a photo on my 4/19/2018 X post), when O'Keefe showed a video of someone dressed as Osama bin Laden wading through the border water - like a South Park character. Even under an Republican administration, the ease of our enemies entering the United States at the time was unsettling.  Another moment of in-your-face clarity happened one night in 2003, when I awoke in the wee hours - as a flashlight beam skittered across my carpet, walls, and bed from my open window.  (I liked to sleep with the sound/smell of the desert breeze.)  When I got up to investigate, I found a police officer walking with a Maglite in hand, balanced on my backyard's wall like a tightrope.  A dangerous illegal had just escaped from authorities I learned, and was hiding in the yards of my subdivision's neighbors; I could hear the cops on their walkie-talkies, as they searched for him.  Sadly, people just don't realize how long our border has been an issue.  And if the border was that dangerous under GWB in 2003, you only need to watch the news to know what it's like under Biden today.
PictureTo quote Homer Simpson: "D'oh!"
By the waaaaaay, ​on the Jesse Watters subject of political correctness, does anyone remember the shitstorm that happened when Taco Bell debuted its "Border Lights" advertising campaign in 1995?  In my endless battle with weight gain/loss, I recall this flavorless, Fat Free menu vividly; the fast food chain had proudly reinvented sour cream, and marketed it with nationwide commercials that showed their chalky low-cal menu paired with illegals, running through border fences while USBP helicopters followed them with spotlights. Oops.  The Liberals attacked the commercials with the ferocity of a Radical Feminist Sex Woker.  Err, I mean Worker...
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I believe I found this AP photo on POLITICO. It's both a sad and beautiful image.
What's happening on our southern border is horrifying.  Liberals don't realize that a porous border is clearly the sign of a larger issue: China, Russia, Radical Islamics and others are united together in a coordinated effort to destroy The United States from within - and the border is the perfect starting point.  It's like a Chess game where a bad player (who barely understands basic strategy) is pitted against a *gifted* player (who thinks 30 moves ahead) - with the future of the world being determined by the winner.  Here are a few fun facts to consider, in no particular order:
  • Russia, China, & North Korea are far bigger countries than us, when combined.
  • Russia, ruled by an ex-KGB madman, still feels humiliated by Reagan's defeat - and its aftermath.
  • China has a missile that can take out our carriers; the USA projects its power with the Navy.
  • The United States is supposed to be able to fight two wars at once; one on each coast. (Right now, we can't even fight one.) 
  • Russia, China, & North Korea, are NOT Politically Correct; their code: Only the strongest survive.
  • Have you seen China's AI/Robot technology?  Even the Black Mirror robo-kill-dog would shit itself.
  • Now, take all of the above and throw in Israel and the Middle East situation.
  • Meanwhile, on our southern border ...
  • Considering the present state of the world, without the United States leading by example, humanity is on the cusp of exploring space - and finally understanding ✨our place within the Universe✨
​And with all THAT going on, what are the Lib's doing in the US?  They're bickering with Conservatives, fighting about Political Correctness, pouring money we don't have into government entitlements, whining about a potential TikTok ban, and ignoring the fact our adversaries have almost overtaken us.  Do you honestly think that China, Russia, & Militant Islamists haven't noticed the fact that we've lowered physical standards to join the military?  🔥That our military, rather than learning how to "kill people & break things" (as Rush used to say), now has to sit through hours of transgender-understanding lectures - instead of combat training?  🔥That American Political Correctness creates a far weaker society than China's/Russia's traditional family units/values? 🔥That our liberal media is united in a coordinated attack against Conservatives?  🔥That Democrats have weaponized the court system against Republicans?  🔥That our stores are being driven out of business because of ludicrous shoplifting prosecution laws? 🔥That our Limousine Liberals, when zipping past our cities' homeless encampments, don't even pass the needy a fiver?  🔥That our last two generations of youth are too lazy to get off the couch?  🔥 That many of our best & brightest African Americans are trapped within the Democratic welfare system? 🔥 That our open border is allowing both new Democratic voters - AND malicious terrorists into the nation?  🔥 That our President - the Leader of the Free World - can barely walk up Air Force One's rear steps without falling down, while wearing orthopedic shoes?  The state of our country is as frightening as Afghanistan after Biden's withdrawal (which our enemies watched), and, like Islamic women, it's the Liberals who are forcing Conservatives to hide at home in burkas.  Ronald Reagan famously said, "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction," and between the Gen Z's/Alphas, we're already two generations into a dangerous apathy - and if the Democrats don't pry their lips from their bongs, we're all going to find ourselves in a Third World War that we are currently unable to win.  
PictureNext to the photo of Donald with Melania splayed across the piano like a Bond girl, this is my favorite picture of Trump.
🎶​​​​​Well, I re-mem-ber ev-ery lit-tle thing as if it hap-pened on-ly yes-ter-day🎶 when I watch Fox News, and I'm often reminded of my 2016 blogs - written during Trump's first campaign.  In particular, I think about the danger of Liberals unabashedly repressing an entire segment of our nation's population.  The most obvious recent example is Letitia James' shameful attempt to seize Donald Trump's real estate holdings, while smugly grinning at everyone with a camera.  The story is all over the news.  Every CNN, MSNBC, "Big Three" newscast, daytime talk show, & Liberal late-night host is *seething* with hypocrisy as Donald scrambles to secure funds to cover his "cruel and unusual" $464,000,000 bond.  As I wrote in my 6/26/2016 post, Democrats are intentionally suppressing Republicans, in the same way the Taliban represses women - or Putin suppresses/imprisons gays. This...is...blatant...intolerance.  And it comes from the party that claims to represent *everybody* - but is, itself, the most intolerant party of all.  I just don't understand how people can't see this, even with all the marijuana smoke obscuring the view of The View on TV.  I just saw video of Jimmy Kimmel reveling in the idea of Trump's beautiful 757 being seized by the US government; I literally wanted to reach into the television and SMACK him - but then, of course, I'd be no better than him.  (And I'd also have to Windex all the hairspray off the screen.)  Another clip I saw on Fox was CNN panelist Frank Luntz pointing directly into the camera (to the viewers), and warning James that by seizing Donald's assets, she'll guarantee his victory in November - as he would be a victim. Chuckling. Now, even "Liberals" are calling themselves *hypocrites*, yet that fact just seems to bounce off Democrats' heads like coconuts on Gilligan's Island - BOINK!  To me, this is a disturbing sign of a much deeper issue: the Liberals' hypersensitivity has desensitized Americans to the point where we can't even recognize the danger that's right in front of our faces.  I mean, the loaded gun of Liberalism is *literally* cocked between our eyes, and Biden is ready to pull the trigger with his trembling, arthritic fingers - and a little help from the staff.  It's no wonder why Democrats want to take away everybody's guns.
PictureWhoops! Guess we forgot to add a line of Hunter's coke to Joe's morning Ensure!
Then again, maybe I'm looking at things the wrong way.  Perhaps we *should* just accept Democratic mediocrity - and that the USA's best days are behind us.  I mean, WHY NOT settle for a government rent-check, and the joy of shopping at ALDI with a LINK card?  Why not trust a man in the White House who can't even "Keep Our Own Kids Safe" (for you Rush fans) by doing something as simple as closing the southern border? Why don't, instead of striving to reach our personal potentials, we just stay at home watching WALL-E on Netflix - as the starliner's captains grow fatter & fatter with each passing generation?  And, most importantly, *why not* begin the exploration of space by suddenly stopping our first Mars mission launch because in the heat of the moment, some NASA engineer inadvertently *slipped* and called a transgender astronaut the wrong pronoun - and now the mission is scrubbed because she's offended?  If you've read my earlier blogs, you know I'm not kidding when I say: I'd rather kill myself.  And *killing ourselves* is exactly what we're doing as a nation, if we don't take back the White House in November.
PictureThe great Communicator.
It's a shame we didn't have smartphones on 9/21/1987, when Ronald Reagan addressed the United Nations. During his speech, he referenced our growing conquest of space - and the potential of a threat from outside the Earth: "I occasionally think how quickly worldwide our differences would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world.  Yet, I ask you: Is not an alien force already among us?  What could be more alien than the universal aspirations of our peoples than war - and the threat of war?"  In other words, Reagan was saying: "Space is a dangerous place, and we'll never survive exploring the Heavens if we can't reconcile our differences here on Earth."  Ronald Reagan was a firm believer in American Exceptionalism, and he led our country with Trump-like confidence - and equally-Teflon hair.  Our 40th President saw the danger of Communism, not only in its military threat, but in its ideological repression of its people's individual potential - its Iron Curtain grip on HOPE.  For those who don't remember, life in the USSR was as bleak as present-day North Korea; citizens weren't allowed to choose their own destinies ... rather, the State chose people's fates for them.  That's exactly what's happening in America right now.  Modern Liberalism is choosing the future of Americans, and if we don't wake up to its danger, we're going to allow a much stronger - and inhumane - nation to tell us where to work, where to live, what to eat. Worst of all, we're already being told what to *think*, in the sense that Democrats have encouraged us not to think at all.  It's happening right in front of our eyes, as the lines at the Cannabis Dispensary & Game Stop stores rival Soviets waiting for toilet paper in the 1980s ... while the coordinated Liberal media assault is hammering Trump into the Leningrad/Washington pavement - as our enemies salivate.

The upcoming election is a crucial moment in history, not for just for our country, but for the world, itself.  If we don't do a fast U-turn on our present course, our nation will be overtaken by those who don't appreciate basic human rights - and we'll never reach our species' *potential*, in the thousand years to come.  The Universe is a jungle, frankly - and only the strongest survive.  If we fail to "toughen up" and live Conservative values, humanity will simply fade into oblivion, an asterisk in Galactic History.

The United States of America was put on this Earth as "One Nation, Under God."  We are the rocket that takes our species into the Cosmos, and we do so with the LOVE of our Creator ... & the HOPE that he inspires.

When the day finally comes when we travel the Universe, the people of the Earth will watch the Heavens above - with Meatloaf on the vintage jukebox radio ... 🎶 "Well, it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night..." 🎶

And that will be the moment when we'll truly be able to see - - - 

✨ Paradise by the Dashboard Lights ✨

- Sir Dave
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Let Knot Your Heart be Troubled

3/18/2024

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Any given night in Aurora, Il - "The City of Lights."
RED WHITE AND BLUE POLICE LIGHTS FLASHED a few months back, like an episode of COPS.  A fine, young gentleman with a marijuana hoodie & pants below his ass had gotten into a fight at our local liquor store, over the price of a vape.  I chuckled as I watched this.  I had actually seen the dude before, a white kid who was pretending to be a gangsta', and he looked absolutely ridiculous.  I smiled as he was cuffed (ahem) and stuffed into the squad car, while the officers tried to keep a straight face.  Things like this are common in Northgate Plaza, an aging 1950s-era shopping center near my house, a deteriorating strip mall with a liquor store, pawn shop, several greasy take-out places, a big thrift store - and a long-defunct Carson Pirie Scott that's being converted into self-storage.  The center is kind of a dump actually, and I'm surprised that it hasn't been torn down yet.  I heard rumors that WalMart wanted to buy/raze the property, but our local politicians didn't want a discount Supercenter because it would bring the "wrong kind of people in the neighborhood." (Again, ahem.)  How could a 24-hour superstore be any worse than this?  

The scene unfolded through the Family Dollar window as I stood at the cashier, paying for my purchase.  The store is near my house, and I often stop there for cheap razors and emergency cat food.  The cashier was a nice black lady, who joined me in grinning as the punk was arrested.  We watched him amusedly when the police car pulled away, then I paid for my litter and left.  I thought about the experience on my way home, and I was saddened by the fact that *this* is the state of many youth today.  I kept thinking about his sweatpants, and how much I hate how people purposely pull their pants down, so you can see their underwear.  (I mean, it doesn't make sense to me; if you're wearing jeans around your knees, wouldn't that restrict the movements of your legs when you're running from police?)  I couldn't help but remember Steve Martin in The Jerk, waddling around towards the end of the movie, holding a chair in his bathrobe.  In the 17 years I worked for Barnes & Noble, I'd often get angry when applicants arrived to the interview wearing concert T-shirts & wrinkled jeans as their *first impression*.  My parents taught me to wear a shirt & tie when applying for a job, and to present myself as professionally as possible.  I was the hiring manager at my last B&N, and I sometimes sent applicants home when they showed up wearing flip-flops:

"Thank you for being on time, but the way that your dressed is inappropriate for an interview.  I'll happily reschedule of course, but if I do, I expect you to dress like you want to work here."   

​It was funny to watch their expressions sink.  Clearly, I had been the first adult to ever tell them such a thing. When I was a teenager in the 1980s, Father taught me to always dress for the job I wanted, even when asking for a fast food application.  Over the past two decades, I've watched everyone's grooming standards slip; at my last B&N (which was located in upscale Naperville), one of our store's managers routinely came to work wearing untucked flannel shirts, wrinkled khakis, and the dirtiest pair of New Balance sneakers I'd ever seen.  I often got into altercations with this person.  He was so unprofessional, he actually told hourly booksellers that he'd been given a Not-At-Standards review, while getting drunk with them at a bar after his shift.  Hearing that made me realize just how LOW our standards have slipped, as our company's managers - like the modern Democratic party - have settled for mediocrity, at best.  In addition, I've learned that the store's entire management staff has been openly talking about my alcoholism - a gross violation of HIPPA rules - after I had  chance encounter with our store's janitor, at Home Depot.  If standards like this are accepted by a large corporate retailer, what must they be like within the country's present administration?  Judging from our current President, I'm afraid they aren't very high. 

​Well, unless you count Hunter ​...
Picture"With talent on loan from God" my ass; Rush didn't have *talent* - he had a GIFT.
RED WHITE AND BLUE STRIPES were waving over Rush's shoulders, in the Drudge Report headline photo on the day of his death.  I loved Rush Limbaugh, and I haven't been the same since he died.  I believe I started listening to him in 1992, back when I worked for Handy Andy Home Improvement Centers in Joliet, Il.  I had been working an overnight shift, a massive reset to introduce Dutch Boy's "Renaissance" line of paint - a new product that introduced Ultra Whites, hues that rivaled the color of the sun, itself.  For whatever reason, I was searching my boom box's AM radio band, and I stopped when I heard Paul Shanklin's song parody: "The Leader of Iraq": "I met him in the baklava store ... he had that big, fuzzy mustache - you get the picture ... That's ven' I fell for da Leader of IRAQ ... VROOM! VROOM!"  The song blurred into "A BOMB, BOMB, BOMB ... BOMB, BOMB IRAQ!" and I was hooked.  I learned the station rebroadcast Rush's shows to fill their overnights, so I started listening to Limbaugh in the days that followed - and continued for the next twenty-seven years.  Rush was hysterical.  Not only did he share my political views, he had a *very* dark sense of humor that you had to listen closely to hear (unless you count the Caller Abortions - KER-FLUSH!).  His wit was razor-sharp, he was a genuinely kind man, he was a staunch believer in both God & conservatism, and he was such a gifted broadcaster, he could hold an audience's attention for three hours - without a single guest. Liberals hated him of course, but few actually took the time to hear his point of view. Rush made so...much...sense.  And he did it in a way that was both intelligent and fun to listen to.  It got to the point where I planned my weekdays around his show, I read both of his books of course, and I even subscribed to The Limbaugh Letter.  I also remember Rush's brief television program, back when he got in trouble for calling Chelsea Clinton "the White House Dog."  Considering that happened around the time Bill Clinton bombed the baby aspirin factory (on the day Linda Trip's story/tapes went public), it's no wonder that "Wag the Dog" was probably on his mind. 
PictureThe 2nd time I drew Rush, in 1996.
Chuckling.  When I got my first iMac in 1999, the very 1st email I sent was to Rush's old Compuserve address.  It was a parody of a Denny's commercial, told with the same un-PC whimsy that Shanklin used in his song parodies.  I loved Rush's humor.  It was subtle, intelligent, and deliciously-absurd.  (Remember "KOOKS" - Keep Our Own Kids Safe? - and how many liberal callers fell for it?) I can still hear his vocal teletype - Da-da-da-dut!  Da-da-da-dut! - as well as his catch-phrases: "With talent on loan from God! - With half my brain tied behind my back, just to. make it fair!"  No matter what was happening in the country/world, Rush always found a way to deliver his Conservative message with relentless optimism.  But even more importantly, Rush genuinely believed in American excellence, and that God chose the United States to set a world standard.  He preached the *need* to strive for our own personal potentials, no matter what the obstacles, no matter what the odds.  Rush told his listeners that if we pursued what we LOVED with our lives, we'd always be happy.   I could still hear his voice when I wrote When People Go Away, and I know that he's proud of me - as my own standards are as high as his.  My heart's been in knots since Rush's death. 
PictureCarrying the torch of EIB light.
RED WHITE AND BLUE STRIPES splashed across Sean Hannity's latest book - Live Free or Die - as I placed it on the New Release table, at my last Barnes & Noble.  I've followed Hannity since the early nineties, back when he used to sub for Rush's vacations - in the same way that Johnny Carson always used Joan Rivers.  The first time I heard Hannity, I was actually a little surprised; he was a *diamond in the rough* so to speak, and his delivery wasn't as polished as it is today. That's actually why I turned the radio UP when he subbed: "If Rush has the confidence to give Sean free reign of his show, he must really trust his message."  Hannity was young, talented, and full of Conservative passion - and it saddened me when he joined Fox News because my cable at the time didn't yet carry the channel.  But I did get to listen to him for a couple of years, and I heard him grow into a skilled communicator, which was exactly what Fox needed in it's infancy - back when Steve Doocy read the weather.  When I finally got The Fox News Channel in the 2000s, Hannity was already a solid fixture on the network.  I waited tables at the time, so I taped Hannity & Colmes to watch when I got home.  I was pleased to see that Sean was as gifted on television, as he was on the radio.

In Live Free or Die: America on the Brink, Hannity explores the issue discussed in my last blog post, and how modern Liberalism is destroying our country from within.  Reagan used to say, "Freedom is but one generation away from extinction," an issue Limbaugh trumpeted daily on his show.  I rarely read political books as they tend to cover topics of which I'm already familiar, but I made an exception for Hannity's work - as its content hit so close to home.  (As a fellow author, I also wanted to give him the sales.)  Sean's book was chilling.  I'll spare you the Amazon synopsis, but what I liked about the work was how it covered our country's slow decline (and eventual demise) from radical Democratic policies that are weakening this nation in front of our eyes.  The book's tough-love message is delivered with GET OFF YOUR ASS urgency, like a family's intervention for an alcoholic who's liver is starting to fail.  But all interventions come from a place of love, and Sean clearly has his mentor's deep love of country.  I watch Hannity's show on Fox, and I can see his desperation as he PLEADS for Liberals to listen to him.  It infuriates me when I discuss political correctness with Democratic friends, as Liberals can't seem to grasp that the *reason* we have the luxury of such ideological disagreements is because past GOP administrations have given us an umbrella of protection (by securing the borders and strengthening the military), which allows everyone the freedom to have such arguments to begin with!  What I really liked about Sean's book was that it brimmed with faith - Let not your heart be troubled.  Hannity has followed Limbaugh's footsteps, a master trained by The Master, a man who - as far as I'm concerned - now carries the torch of golden EIB light.
PictureTrump, waving "hi" to Rush in the Heavens.
RED WHITE AND BLUE STRIPES are seen on the flags, shirts, hats, banners, and *waving* in the hands of the MAGA supporters at every Trump rally that I see on television. Chuckling...I'm obviously a Donald fan, and one of my biggest dreams is to get a photo with him: ME - in leather & red MAGA hat, and HIM - in a black suit w/red tie & wearing my Muir. The next time he visits Chicago, I'd love to take him for a drink at Touche (though he'd have to pay, as the bar won't take a LINK card; Also - I want to ride in the limo).  I'd love to show the guys the man that *I* see, a genuine Rush/Hannity Patriot, a President who loves our country enough to speak to us with tough love.  More importantly, I'd want Mr. Trump to sit at the bar with a crowd gathered around him like a Kids in the Hall "Buddy Cole"-monologue, and explain why he believes in American excellence - and why it's important that the Left should as well.  We all need a harsh reminder of how dangerous the world has become, and why a strong United States is necessary - and how easily our freedom can Go Away.  I'd like to hear Donald discuss how "special interest" groups are treated in other countries.  (Russia immediately comes to mind, as Putin openly punishes "Homosexual Propaganda" - and how weak Liberal policies have allowed the Russian President to threaten our freedom from overseas.)  More importantly, I'd like to see if Trump has his own Liberalism *Gasp* moment - like the "gasp" I described in my 3/6 "The Color Purple Rain" blog post, where I discussed Perceived White Racism. 

Complex problems often have simple solutions, and I know that there's an answer to this predicament. It just...doesn't...make...sense that Liberals can't see how their actions are hurting our nation, and if it continues, we'll have no country left.  Democrats like to quote history, especially when calling Trump supporters "fascists," and accusing us of intolerance, because we refuse to accept mediocrity.  To me, Donald Trump is the epitome of success stories, and he's literally gambled *everything* he owns to bring this message to all Americans - in the same way I've done with When People Go Away.  I admire President Trump as much as I do both Hannity & Limbaugh, and I strive to be like them when I live my daily life.  All three men not only fought tooth & nail to reach the pinnacle of their professions, but to spread their word of HOPE - by living the American Dream. We've totally forgotten that the Constitution guarantees, not the *right* to freedom, but the right to pursue freedom & happiness - and that is something we must actively work towards ourselves.
PictureObi-wan, you're my only hope.
RED WHITE AND BLUE STRIPES wave within the opening credits of Fox & Friends every morning, when I get up at 5am. Like footage from a Trump rally, I watch Steve, Lawrence, Ainsley, and Brian, as I settle down in front of the TV, with my computer, coffee, and cats.  I've been playing a lot of catch-up lately, as I stopped following the news for a few months when finishing When People Go Away.  I've been doing deep-dives on China, Russia, North Korea, the Middle East - and our current administration's relationship with Israel & Palestine.  The first thing I noticed was that the *venom* was back; the Democrats have again coordinated with the media to attack Donald Trump with more fervor than 2016.  It's also been many years since I've drawn a cartoon, so I've been going through my pens & pencils, and I have two comics planned for Fox - which I'll do as soon as I can afford new art supplies. I've stopped listening to Talk Radio sadly; my Bose seems hollow without Rush's optimism.  But with 29 years of Limbaugh's voice in my memory, I can still feel his presence today.  And despite the precarious position that we find ourselves in now, I can't help but feel...happy.

"Take this - you can use it," my Mother told me, as she gave me a winning $5 Scratch-off ticket back in November, 2022.  That was followed by her telling me to "just walk down to Northgate and grab the first job that you see in the window."  After she left my house, I stared at the Lotto ticket - before turning my eyes towards my computer.  That was the day I decided, rather than accept a minimum wage job, I was going to do what I truly loved to do - and to write the book I've always wanted.

For the next twelve months I sat at my iMac, and wrote When People Go Away - with Fox News in the background.  As the country crumbled on television, I saw a *miracle* unfolding on my computer's screen, and I watched the curser leave a trail of unexpected words - with a message I did not write, myself.

It's amazing the JOY that achieving one's potential can bring, and I often thought of Rush when I was writing. Like a Prophet with a Bible, Limbaugh was a God with a Golden Microphone, and even though he's gone, I can still hear hear his voice in the faithful ... ✨

And no matter who they are, they always say the very same thing:
Strive for excellence, make America great again, and - - -

"Let not your heart be troubled." 🇺🇸

- Sir Dave
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The Audacity of A New Hope

3/13/2024

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Picture
Ahh, the days when you could describe a groundbreaking masterpiece with, "It's Terrific!"
I WAS WATCHING THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK last night, and I smiled at how cheap the Blockbusters of my youth look today.  I had just noticed how The Imperial Cruiser's inner doors *bounce* slightly when closing, as the set was obviously made of plywood.  I also enjoyed how implausible R2D2's movements were in Dagobah's rainforest, because the robot was on wheels - which would have never rolled in the mud, a fact that was reinforced when Luke struggled with R2's weight, after Nessie spat him out like a snot-rocket.  Add to that, the writing was full of cliches.  Han & Lea's forced love story? - Yecch.  The way Fisher got thrown into Han Solo's arms (in the monster cave) was straight from a sitcom, or an old episode of Star Trek where explosions were bolstered by shaking the camera.  In addition, the movie's dialogue is God-awful.  LEAH: (Batting her eyes at Solo): "You're a scoundrel, and I only like nice men."  SOLO: (Leaning in for a kiss) - "Oh, I think you like scoundrels, Princess.  Are you afraid to get your hands dirty?"  Again, yecch!  And though I respect Lucas's audacity of making Yoda a "Muppet," did he reeeeeeally have to give the puppet the voice of Kermit & Piggy's unholy offspring?  Furthermore, C3Po was just a bitch ...

Thirty-nine years earlier, Orson Welles faced a similar issue when filming CITIZEN KANE.  Like the Star Wars movies, A New Hope in particular, Welles had to tell a staggering story on a shoestring budget.  But as Hitchcock did with 1940's Foreign Correspondent's crash scene, Orson was fucking brilliant when it came to making grand-on-a-shoestring special effects seem believable.  My favorite moment happened when reporter Jerry Thompson is allowed access to the archive of Walter Parks Thatcher, to research Charles Foster Kane.  The underground chamber appears to be made of concrete, but in reality, the whole thing was built with styrofoam or something; the "effect" of a bunker was completely done through sound effects, with dialogue that "echoed," and the deliberate insertion of footsteps on polished granite.  (Chuckling...there were no "bouncy" doors in sight.)  Additional tricks were used in other scenes, like the clever "lighting effect" when Kane stands to clap after Susan's disastrous opera performance (while watching the show, Charles appears well-lit, but when standing to clap, his face goes dark in the shadows), and too many neatly-staged camera shots to mention.  Film Connoisseurs know that in order to truly appreciate a movie, you must first imagine yourself living in the project's era: "Okay, so it's 1941, and Hitler was threatening Europe.  Newspapers & radio were the two main news sources, and though films were creative, their special-effects technology was primitive.  As Citizen Kane was modeled after Randolph Hearst, this was a commentary on his media empire, political aspirations, and of course, his massive mansion.  Now, you take all that in account, and throw in Orson Welles - who was riding high after his War of the Worlds broadcast."  ​You must consider the time before watching the movie, and if you do, you'll truly appreciate what masterpieces both Citizen Kane & The Empire Strikes Back really are.
PictureBiden, B4 Hunter's cocaine kicks in.
Going back to A New Hope, my friend Paul reminded me of the "Klosterman-esque hypotheticals about the practicality of the processes."  (Chuckling - you might want to Google that; the comment was in regards to McSweeney's piece: "On the Implausibilty of the Death Star's Trash Compactor.").  He brought up that fact that in the first Star Wars movie, the whole franchise could have been avoided had the Death Star just blown up Yavin, rather than orbit around it to get to the rebel base moon - BOOM!  I told him that I felt the exact same way when Jeffery Dean Morgan first appeared on The Walking Dead.  The *very* 1st time we see Negan, he's silhouetted/illuminated behind a cloth or something - with his leather jacket & barbed-wire bat slung over his shoulder. Morgan sloooooowly walks around the corner, taunting Rick & the gang with some twisted soliloquy - all while our heroes literally watched w/guns in their hands.  I remember yelling: "JUST SHOOT HIM!"  I mean, why not take care of the problem now, you know?  Sure, AMC would have lost the next four seasons, but the show went on for too long anyway.  (It got to the point where I was rooting for the zombies.).  Besides, can you imagine how cool Morgan's brain matter would have looked when *splattered* all over the sheets -🩸                                                                                                                                                                                                              🩸   🩸   🩸                                                                                                                                                                                                     🩸   🩸   🩸   🩸  🩸       
                                                                                                                           🩸    🩸   🩸    🩸   🩸   🩸                                                                                                                                                                       🩸   🩸   🩸    🩸    🩸    🩸 ?
PictureI genuinely believe that if MTV returned to music videos & exclusive concerts (instead of all the "Buckwild" reality bullshit), the channel would become relevant again.
In my previous blog, I wrote about the film "Radioland Murders," and how fun live, scripted radio serials must have been in the 30s.  My generation had a similar spectacle: Music Television - I WANT MY MTV!  I used to enjoy coming home from the leather bars in the wee hours, then turning on Music TV to wind down from the night. Nowadays, I've switched to YouTube channels of course, where the hits of the 80s/90s are available on hour-long playlists.  But I don't just watch the oldies, I purposely look for newer stuff, as I refuse to get stuck in the past.  Like an old movie with dated special effects, the music videos currently available are much more elaborate, as technology has gotten better. There was so...much...creativity in music & films these days, it's almost hard to fathom.  As a man of a certain age, I feel it's crucial that, in order to stay "young," it's important to actively pay attention to what's happening in the ART of the youth.  And I don't just mean what's occurring in music, film, and the TikTok-y apps, I'm talking about what's happening in the world - the things that we only see *hinted* at in the media.  With that in mind, here's an excerpt from my 1/3/2017 Blog Archive, from Trump's first term in office; it's about "Jaka Parker," a man who secretly recorded daily North Korean life, and posted it on YouTube:

"... Anyway, with camera recording, the viewer follows Jaka Parker down streets, through urban pedestrian tunnels, across intersections with more bikes than cars, and down miles and miles of colorless boulevards lined with bleak, identical, Orwellian apartment buildings.  Unlike footage of soldiers marching though the People's Square, Jaka's videos capture the monotony of North Korean life - a world void of joy.  There are no corner coffee shops or breakfast diners with neon-trimmed windows. There are no 7-Elevens, and certainly no 24-hour superstores with parking lots full of cars. There are no glowing Coke/Pepsi machines, no twinkling LED advertisements, no lines outside the Taco Bell drive-thru.  There is no "entertainment" of any kind - in the windows of buildings, or anywhere on the street - unless you count the billboards of Kim, Kim, and Kim painted within images of Soviet bounty above empty shops and grocery stores. Jaka Parker has captured the "genuine" North Korea, cold & comfortless, repetitive & gray ..."

Can you just imagine?  Living a life void of color, art, music - and hope?  I wrote about living in poverty in my last post, but even my crappy old house is fun to come home to, and there's always something of interest happening in my neighborhood.  I'd discussed North Korea in many of my blogs over the years, but Jaka Parker's videos really hit me hard when I realized what they were *actually* saying: "Please world - Help us!  We're trapped in bondage by a repressive regime, and we live in a country with no JOY!"  I couldn't help but think of the modern Democratic Party, and how its steadily-lowering standards has caused us to - as Robert H. Bork said in his 1996 book - "Slouch Towards Gomorrah."  I see this everywhere I look; it's like a frog slowly boiling in water. Liberals don't realize that by "leveling the playing field so everyone can participate," they're killing the *hope* of the youth of today, which destroys the country from within.  I remember Rush Limbaugh talking about this on his show, coupled with Paul Shanklin's parody: 🎶"We all live in a mellow apathy..."🎶  As a man of creativity, I think that's why Parker's videos hit me so hard: This is what's happening within our own country right now, as liberal apathy enables the slow erosion of hope & joy - destroying the *spark* of inspiration.  But even worse is the cruelty this causes, as the youth of today is led to believe that the JOY of American excellence (which, quite frankly, comes from Conservative values) isn't politically correct.  God put the United States on this world for a reason, a beacon of strength, freedom, excellence, and hope - and it's hard not to notice that Jaka Parker's videos are meant for an American audience.  They are, sadly, a desperate cry for help that we are currently unable to answer - particularly with the Biden administration. 
PictureThe Audacity of Hope
I love the old Star Wars films because of their message that HOPE is not only the Force that unites is, but it's also a goal that we must fight to achieve.  Despite what Liberals may want us to believe, success in life doesn't come from a safe-space, it derives from our Orson Welles willingness to take chances - and to challenge the status quo.  I also love how the movies "matured" as they went on, exactly like Harry Potter books.  The films got bigger budgets and technology vastly improved over their 42-year run; by the time the series was finished (not counting all the spin-off movies, which are still in production), their revenue equated to over ten billion dollars, making George Lucas the very definition of "The American Success Story."  One can only imagine what Welles might have accomplished, had he been alive today.  As a writer myself, I appreciate the ART of these films...that is, the *spark* of creativity that took a scruffy little film (I mean, the 77' Death Star interior looks like Lucas assembled it from the Ace Hardware electrical department, for Christ's sake!) and saw the potential of countless movies, a $32,000,000,000 merchandise franchise, and a grand story arc that once it was finished, rivals When People Go Away.  Impressive.  Especially as Lucas describes himself as "a radical liberal" who doesn't believe in the "capitalist democracy" that seems to have made him Trump-rich.  I mean, with all the money the guy has made, how can he have the *audacity* to even SAY that...?

With that in mind, here's an excerpt from my 9/22/2016 Blog Archive, regarding Ann Coulter's appearance on Rob Lowe's Comedy Central roast:

"... So, I finally got around to watching Comedy Central's roast of Rob Lowe - and I was absolutely horrified by the treatment of Ann Coulter.  Her presence on the dais was clearly a set-up, and as the roasters delivered jokes, there were more Coulter/cunt insults then there were snipes about Soda Pop's sex tapes - or Lowe's perpetual Death Becomes Her looks.  I happen to like Ann Coulter.  She's a wickedly funny/intelligent lady.  And I'm sure she knew that by appearing at the event, she she'd be conservative catnip in a den of liberal lions - more of a target than Lowe, himself.  But what genuinely shocked me were the moments of silence when the camera panned the audience during her set.  The crowd was...seething.  You could feel their anger like radiant heat. They hated Ann Coulter like jihadists hate infidels, and their heart-stopping glares - and refusal to acknowledge a single point she made - marked the first time I truly understood the ideology that separates Clinton and Trump supporters.  It scared the hell out of me ... "

​It's sad when you realize that those that preach tolerance are often the most intolerant of all.  And it's even sadder to learn how deep this intolerance runs, especially within the creative community.  People don't realize the *importance* of creativity, as it's just as crucial to math, science, and spirituality - as it is for ART. Without the *spark* of inspiration, no one would have realized that mold creates penicillin - or that space travel could be achieved by 1969, when The Fifth Dimension sang Age of Aquarius.  But we'll never truly reach cosmic enlightenment until we solve our problems on Earth.  If we fail to learn basic lessons like accepting each other's belief systems, we'll never survive the era of quantum computing & interstellar travel to experience our Manifest Destiny: Humanity is meant to achieve Time Travel in 1000 years, as we gain an understanding of the many dimensions that already exist around us.  

For me, this time is magical.
PictureIn the name of Love...
Back in 1990, Jesus Jones sang:

🎶"A woman on the radio talks about revolution, when it's already passed her by...🎶...Bob Dylan didn't have this to sing about, you know it's good to feel alive!...🎶... I was alive and I waited, waited...🎶...I was alive and I waited for this...🎶...Right here, right now...🎶...there is no other place I want to be...🎶...Right here, right now...🎶...Watching the world wake up from history!"🎶 

​The first time I heard the song, I got the same chills as Moby's "Signs of Love."  From Citizen Kane's bygone newspaper era to Star Wars' depiction of galactic majesty, the world of ART is filled with foreshadowing of the people we're about to become.  Everyone thinks humanity's next phase of Evolution will take as many eons as the first, but that's not the case at all.  People forget that we went from horseback to space travel in just 69 years, a testament to our species creativity - and the spark of inspiration that leads to great ideas.  This is why I find it so hard to fathom that we're fighting against our nature - and God's Intelligent Design.  

You see, change is happening all around us, but we're so preoccupied with destructive matters like Political Correctness that we're failing to see it.  Nobody's even noticed that God created an entirely new color palate, a prism that we're unable to see without better technology.  Humanity has mistaken "spirituality" for "religious dogma," and that is holding us back.  People must realize the Almighty is technology, the Divine source code that binds all matter in the Universe - God's first *spark* of the creative inspiration for life ... ✨

I have a dream that the day will come when we all join hands in love.  For it's the hand of God that humanity must embrace, to lift us UP into the Heavens - and to the joy that lays beyond.  

It's the Audacity of a New Hope. 💫

- Sir Dave
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The Color Purple Rain

3/6/2024

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Picture
"All our times have come...Here, but now they're gone..."
THE WANING AMETHYST TWILIGHT cast an eerie purple glow on the skeleton's faces, as Radar & I stared in amusement while we smoked on the Ballydoyle's sundeck.  The ghouls looked like puppets on strings, and the fact they were standing on the ground floor below meant they must have been nine feet tall - as the deck was located on the pub's second story.  Like two 50-year-old kids peering over a ledge, Radar & I looked down to the courtyard below, a massive brick parkway that threads between the buildings of downtown Aurora.  There were purple skeletons everywhere.  They wore luminescent makeup that glowed in the neon blacklight.  There were also a number of The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy characters dancing in a growing crowd of locals who were gathering around a DJ Booth, which was wrapped in *twinkle lights*.  The DJ was obviously playing "Don't Fear the Reaper," and Radar & I quickly stamped out our cigarettes, threw a twenty at the server, grabbed our jackets & Macbooks, and ran downstairs to see what was happening. 

​It had to be good.

Once we arrived, we learned that The Basement of the Dead was starting within the hour.  The courtyard looked like a Wal-Mart parking lot had been attacked by The Walking Dead, and the air smelled like draft beer, wet fall leaves, and ozone from hot power cables.  Gas-powered generators rumbled in the background as Radar & I explored the festivities; I couldn't drink because I was in outpatient rehab at the time, so Radar consumed heavily on my behalf.  A crowd was gathering around the entrance, so the two of us got in line.  While we waited, Radar used his computer to tap into the event's security system, so we watched the costumed staff smoke weed (inside the haunted house, before it opened) through their own CCTV cameras.  Even though we'd gotten there early, the wait was still an hour; Radar sent me on a beer run, and on my way back, I chatted with a purple-faced Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.  The haunted house itself was totally worth the wait.  It checked all the right boxes: creepy music, creepy lighting, creepy-crawlies on surfaces that hadn't been cleaned since the last time it came to town.  I especially enjoyed how d i s t u r b i n g the "narrative" was.  In addition to the unnecessarily-realistic horror-house staples - zombies, vampires, cadavers on bloody porcelain autopsy tables - some of the rooms were shocking: *A Soylent Green abortion clinic. *A patent handcuffed to a mental-ward bed, begging/screaming "I'm not a crew member!  These people are crazy!  PLEASE HELP ME!" *A chilling church chamber packed w/cultists, where a goat's-head-masked-zealot preached the coming apocalypse beneath swinging candlelit chandeliers.  *A man in a Pearl Jam hoodie, throwing up Jello-shots, cheese curds, and The Ballydoyle's shepherd's pie - the visuals were magnificent! Radar & myself chuckled in that we seemed to frighten more customers than the staff, itself.  A rotting horse-man actually yelled at me because I tried using my iPhone to see - but in my defense, I was getting blurry-eyed from the secondhand bong smoke. When we finally reached the EXIT door, we each felt mentally violated - which is exactly how one should feel after spending $45/ticket for a good haunted house.  On the way back to my truck, I bought us both T-shirts.
Picture"Yes, children. The fence really IS electrified!"
A few weeks later I was standing on a neighborhood's sidewalk, staring at a different haunted house in absolute horror. The neighbor had spent the past three months decorating his yard for Halloween, and as the night was finally upon us, I approached his home with the same sort of caution that a policeman would use when "talking down" a suicide jumper.  His yard was as intense as The Basement of the Dead.  He had clearly missed his calling as a B-Movie Special Effects Technician.  I'd been watching him for weeks as he'd set up displays: *Dead men on nooses.  *Animated corpses crawling from graves.  *Dracula, spring-loaded, ready for a coffin jump-scare with a push of a button.⚰️ I did a double-take at the black leather restraints he had used (on the rusty metal table where a shouting man was being cut in half by a circular saw) and wondered if they came from MY basement.  My gaze then wandered through the illuminated, purply, dry-ice fog to the pleading, writhing, AND - please forgive me for using the same phrase twice, but - "unnecessarily-realistic" convict-in-an-electric-chair, whose electrocution-process was triggered by a motion-sensor whenever someone passed on the sidewalk ... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!  This dude must have spent close to $5000 on his yard, and almost *everything* was inappropriate for children.  To make matters worse, I was so distracted by the Trick-or-Treaters running from the house crying, the asshole scared the shit out of me, when he snuck up behind me (dressed as Leatherneck, of course) and literally yelled "BOO!"  I growled at him audibly, spun on my boot heel, and came face-to-face with an angry black mother who was storming from her car because her kids had gotten so scared from the spectacle, they had actually dropped their candy.

Her eyes met mine, and I GASPED...
And that's when it hit me: This is the moment where perceived white racism comes from.
Picture"In your eyes, the lights, the heat...in your eyes, I am complete..."
As a man who's finally recovering from a lifetime of mental illness, I've grown observant to a fault.  Part of it is a *multiple personality thing*, as it takes great effort to appear calm on the surface when many different people are fighting for my attention. It's often hard for me to "live in the moment," so to speak, so I've trained myself to pay close attention to other people's facial expressions.  Quite frankly, until recently my brain was so broken, I literally had to tell myself, "If someone smiles, they must be happy with me; if they frown, they must not like me."  Over the decades, my observations became more nuanced, and I grew hyper-sensitive to other's demeanor when talking to me.  I'd watch their mannerisms.  I'd notice what they were doing with their hands when they spoke.  I'd pay close attention to people's "eyes" in particular, where they were looking, how were their pupils focused.  I'd use this information to decide if a person was being honest with me, or to see if they realized how insecure I was. Because of the way I experience *time*, even small moments become seared into my memory, and they're impossible to forget - until something more powerful overrides them.  And when you've spent 45 years watching other's disappointment of you, even a moment of hesitation can be overpowering in the most hurtful of ways.  For that reason, as a Proud Gay Republican, I've reached the following conclusion:
African Americans deserve Reparations,
and an apology from a Competent Republican President.  ​
And I know that goes against the position of most in the GOP, but we're wrong on this issue - and we need to fix it fast.  BUT, the moment that Reparations are paid, this entire race issue must be put to bed immediately, as the hyper-sensitivity caused by unintentional/perceived racism is damaging in ways that most of us don't realize. Yes, slavery will always be a stain on our country's history, but what the modern Democrat Party has done to use that fact to divide us is something far worse, and far more damaging.  Quite frankly, it's because of Democratic policies from the past 30 years that Reparations are now needed, as I didn't feel this way in the 90s.  It's no wonder that we're at the point where a simple Gasp! has caused such an issue, but like so many things in life, very big problems often have simple solutions.  And in the case of "perceived white racism" is concerned, it's literally as easy as a heartfelt apology - and an injection of cash, assuming Chuck & Nancy left anything in the Treasury.  Of course, the really sad thing is that this nation is in such bad shape with Biden, we don't have the ability for a proper Reparations payment now.  When Trump retakes office, he literally has to redirect ALL available national resources to immediately secure the border and reinvest in the military so we have a country left for African Americans to live & thrive in.  Donald must make the formal apology (and the promise to pay), but it won't be until the second term of our next Republican President that Reparations can be issued a check - and even then, it's probably going to be capped at $10,000 per person.  But Trump can began the process quickly with Executive Orders that pledge government support for quality churches, organizations that encourage the traditional family unit, and Republican-led legislative policies that will do everything possible to give Black People the HOPE that Obama promised - and failed - to deliver. 

​Sadly, it's come to that...​
Picture"God is trying to tell you something..."
The reason I've done a 180 on Reparations is understandable: While writing When People Go Away, I've been forced to utilize government assistance to help pay the bills.  A few nights ago, I had to use Dane's LINK card for groceries; we literally walked through Aldi with a calculator-app, counting every penny spent. (We even had to scour my truck's seat cushions, searching for a quarter for the shopping cart.) Dane comes from a much poorer background than me, so he's adept as living as cheaply as possible; in addition to sticking to a strict food budget, he's showing me how to "juggle" utilities with phone calls, payment plans, and temporary mortgage deferments.  I've been lucky in that it's only been recently where I've had to make "Draconian Budget Cuts"- to utilize a phrase that Democrats use when describing Republican policies.  Until I got cirrhosis, I'd been reasonably successful in my own retail management job, and I had plenty of funds to buy food, pay utility/credit card bills, save for home improvement projects, and to set a little aside each month for the occasional Broadway show, David Sedaris tickets, & Touche. But over the past year of writing my new novel - the last six months in particular - I've been driven into a life of poverty, as my house falls apart around me.   I was staring this morning at the rips on my 20-year-old carpeting, and the towel bar that fell in my bathroom, beneath the room's busted ventilation fan.  I found myself adding chores to our kitchen dry-erase board, which Dane bought at a thrift store:

* Duct tape carpet on stairs (use white, not gray).
* Drain water from refrigerator (it's leaking again).
* Spot-paint peeling areas of front porch railings (careful - they're rotten), and mudroom.
* Flush kitchen & bathroom drains with bleach (they stink again).  Use the purple Fabuloso if out of bleach.
* Spray area rugs with "Purrrfect" (follow directions; it takes 24 hours to work).
* List Radar's guitar on Facebook; shoot for $800, but take as low as $500.
* Thank Radar for giving us guitar.

Sure, the place *looks* nice at a glance, but that's because I'm a clean-freak who knows how to decorate.  Truth be told, this house is a dump that's unfit for Section-8 - and I've been living here 18 years this June because it's all I can afford.  As I helped Dane box our $129 worth of off-brand groceries (we couldn't afford bags), I realized why THIS is the reason that Republicans must apologize to black people - as Democrats sure aren't going to do it.  Modern Liberalism is the reason that many African Americans are forced to live in poverty, and as far as I'm concerned, using a LINK card at Aldi isn't just "poverty," it's squalor.  And like it took a Gasp! for me to finally understand perceived racism, it's taken me living in this shithole to genuinely experience the hopelessness that most blacks must feel while trying to fight their way out of the welfare system.  Again, the Republicans must apologize for the bondage that Democrats have put them in.  For me, I cannot apologize enough...
Picture"What a night, what a crowd, makes you glad, makes you proud..."
Friday marks Radar's return after a two-year stint with a now-ex girlfriend.  Radar's one of my best friends, and we'd lived together for almost seven years before he met the Babadook.  I remember the day that he'd first answered my Craigslist ad; he pulled up on a Harley, and came to the door in leather, with a cigarette between his teeth.  We'd bonded immediately as we're both Gen-X'rs, and Radar's quirks - autism, a gift for numbers & music, a sister who's a San Francisco dominatrix - played well with my multiple personalities, schizophrenic writing process, and primal need to always be near my Dyson. The neighbors had no idea what to make of us.  With the exception of the red lights in the basement, my house looks like a Norman Rockwell painting, but when the front door opens - and the two of us emerge like a pair of thugs - parents often gather their children.  Radar's lived across the globe, but New Orleans is where he calls home.  He also has duo US/British citizenship, a genius IQ, and he speaks fluent German, Japanese, & 'Merican.  Radar's my polar-opposite when it comes to politics, but as I can coexist with anybody, that's never been a problem.  Over the years, we've had many late-night bonding talks, and he's helped me to understand not the Democrat perspective, but the "Liberal" one.  I actually have no problems with Liberals.  A functional government should have a yin-&-yang balance of Liberals *and* Conservatives.  I like to call Radar a "Bill Maher Liberal," in that Radar - like Maher - presents his political arguments in intelligent, realistic, and humorous bullet-points - and though we don't agree politically, our discussions on politics are always fun.  My favorite Radar quote: "Hillary Clinton is like America's ex-wife.  You married her twenty years ago, had a couple of kids together, but now you're sick of her and you just want her to go the fuck away."  Also like Maher, Radar always knows the *purrrfect* place to drop an F-bomb.

In the years we lived together, Radar's taught me many things.  Deep-frying a turkey comes to mind.  So does having to repaint the kitchen because of all the damn cigarette & marijuana smoke.  He's tried to teach me guitar on several occasions, but I struggle with where to put my hands on the strings - SCREECH!  He's also been showing me how to understand football, a sport I've been interested in since Limbaugh used to talk about it.  I like Radar because he challenges me, and isn't afraid to stand up to my bullshit.  When I was dying of cirrhosis two years ago, Radar used to grab my swollen, purple legs and drag me off the couch.  I'd often whine, "Dude - I can't move," but the 55-year-old-goth would have none of it: "GET OFF YOUR ASS, OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"  I didn't understand it at the time, but Radar's concern (and grief over potentially losing a friend) was actually an act of Tough Love - similar to how brazen Trump talks, when he told African Americans in 2016: "The Democrats have failed you.  What have you got to lose by voting for a Republican?"  What Radar was really saying was: "Dude, listen:  You can either die while making excuses, or you can *live* and find a way to get through this.  I love you Brother, but it's not healthy for me to see you kill yourself - and if you don't knock it off, I'm going to leave you to die."  And it took him actually going through with his threat for me to realize how right he was.  Luckily, our friendship was strong enough to survive, and as of this weekend, my house will again be in order.
Picture"Sailors, fighting in the dance hall...Oh man, look at that caveman go! It's the freakiest show..."
Going back to football, I'm looking forward to watching games again, now that Radar is back in the house.  He's obviously a SAINTS fan, and I bought him a purple hometeam helmet during the last Christmas we spent together.  I remember watching Lady GaGa's halftime show with him, during Superbowl 2017. Her performance was so good, I ended up doing a halftime-show YouTube deep-dive, and I pulled up many videos from great ones over the years.

The most impressive show I found was Prince's 2007 performance, when a sudden thunderstorm almost wrecked the onstage electronics.  I don't know what the original plan was - an army of slutty dancers, I suppose - but with the weather's severity, it was clear that Draconian cuts had been made on-the-fly for performer's safety.  The result were just three Black People: two talented women, and Prince in Bowie's "Life on Mars" suit, with a dew-rag on his forehead.  The tiny ensemble was dwarfed by the massive stage, but with the obvious risk of electrocution, it's amazing that Prince was able to sing anything at all.

THUNDERCLOUDS RUMBLED and lightning flashed above as the pyrotechnic-crew made the sign-of-the-cross, starting the show.  Prince then sang a medley of hits, opening with "Let's Go," and others from the era: "Baby, I'm a Star," "1999," & "Proud Mary."  In a twist of cosmic irony, the music built up to PURPLE RAIN - in perfect time with the storm.  The stadium spotlights illuminated the downpour in a vivid *amethyst twilight*, and the moment was no less than magical as Purple Rain was literally performed in actual purple rain.

It are moments like this that prove the existence of God, when people find ways to reach their potential, despite significant obstacles.  God is "creativity," the ability to always see a solution to a problem, and to understand that the creative *spark* is often as simple as a Gasp...

As we enter the Age of Aquarius, the last gasps of all of our struggles must be addressed with Tough Love, before we explore the heavens.  Republican red easily combines with Democrat blue under realistic circumstances, and the two make the Color Purple - which is the Gaspee of Kings. 👑

And Kings come in many forms, from musical Princes to competent Presidents:
PictureThe golden beams of EIB light...
🎶 I never meant to cause you any sorrow, 🎶
🎶 I meant to cause you any pain - 🎶

​🎶 I must offer my formal apology, 🎶 
🎶 to promise that I'm here now - 🎶 
🎶 and this will never happen again.  🎶

​🎶 As humanity finally looks up to the heavens, 🎶 
🎶we'll realize our struggles have not been in vain - 🎶
​
🎶 Our next thousand years will be a time of exploration, 🎶
🎶 as our little blue world has finally become ... 🎶

💫 The Color of Purple Reign 💫
​
- Sir Dave
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The Dark Side of the Rainbow Flag

3/3/2024

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Picture
The House of Yes: "Every goddamn hurricane."
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT five nights ago as my living room windows flashed like strobe lights, with my face silhouetted in the glass.  The year's first violent thunderstorm was approaching, and the weathermen, as usual for spring, were reading directly from the Bible.  I wasn't worried of course; this happens every year.  Besides, I've been spring-cleaning this week, so my basement holding cell - the safest place to ride out a tornado - had been freshly hosed-out once I'd removed the remains, should this really be happening.  I LOL at the western burbs every March, when spring breaks through in the biggest way possible, breaking everything in its path - and scaring all the Hispanics.  The sky turns black, the trees turn sideways, and not only do my trash cans get turned over, the garbage inside gets blown down the street - Mother Nature's recycling service.  I smiled on Tuesday as my Adirondack chairs played bumper-cars on the porch while my wind chimes rang like machine gun fire by my drenched rainbow flag.  While all this was happening, my younger cat just sorta' shrugged his shoulders, and purringly-hinted at the front door. (No, you may NOT go outside!) At one point in the storm, every...fucking...weather app on my phone started screaming all at once: RUN! RUN! RUN! (Rolling my eyes.) Of course, it even more irritating because I was trying to watch a recording On-Demand, but the county EBS (also screaming, RUN! RUN! RUN!) kept knocking out the programming, and it was a really good episode of "Capote vs. the Swans."  "I suppose the internet's still working," I thought with a sigh, "so at least I have YngMstrDetroit to pass the time."  As my house has stood for 121 years so far, I actually wasn't concerned that the place would fall onto a witch w/ruby slippers or anything, so I settled back onto my couch and enjoyed the evening's light show - and the kind of website that, in hindsight, I probably should have closed the blinds before accessing.
PictureThe Wall's visual metaphors were *esquisite*.
After the storm subsided a bit & On-Demand restored, I ended up smoking a bowl and watching Pink Floyd's The Wall from 1982.  It had been *decades* since I'd last seen the film, and as the wind became rain, I was in the mood for something more than just music on the radio - and the movie struck the perfect sweet spot between clean house & dirty mind.  I was too young for R-Rated films in 82', but like my Sweeney Todd soundtrack, I've had the album memorized for decades.  I remember how popular the movie was in the day; it was tailor-made for midnight showings at the Springfield IL drive-in, best viewed through a cloud of grass, Southern Comfort, and herbicidal fumes from the surrounding cornfields' overspray.  The film was so good for its era.  And it went as far as censors would allow with Oedipal abuse, mental illness, and addiction.  Like Saturday Night Fever, "The Wall" was searingly visual, and its use of late-70s animation was perfectly juxtaposed with WWII images that tough cliche *today*, were actually cutting-edge for the time.   The softening rain continued outside as my buzz allowed the film to wash over me.  I was taken by the amount of dead-on material references, specific to the 1982 audience: *The 81' Mercedes Roadster.  *Late-70s digital electronics w/quivering LEDs.  *The whirs & clicks of early satellite communications technology.  *LPs in tight plastic wrappers.  *Marlboro Reds in boxes. *Run Like Hell's RUN! RUN! RUN! *7up. It was fun to watch how the film accomplished what it did without the use of modern CGI, in the same way that The Wizard of Oz used B&W house paint & sepia makeup tricks to give the illusion of opening the door into a Technicolor world.  My dear friend Paul reminded me of The Dark Side of the Rainbow, the infamous experience where Dark Side of the Moon is played side-by-side with The Wizard of Oz; he said that if you really "read into the visuals," the sync is "bizarrely effective."   Though I've never seen the show, I knew exactly what he'd meant as my TV played my favorite film image: a big, black, beast of a 76' Cadillac Fleetwood limousine idling in the night (within an illuminated fog), while a drugged-out Pink is propped, sponge-bathed, dressed, RE-drugged (while a sleazy-agent shoves 100s into the hotel manager's pockets) - all set against "Comfortably Numb."  Yeah, sure, it's waaaaaay over the top, but I'm standing to CLAP anyway.  Especially for the Caddy. And the really cool animations of screaming faces trapped within the wall.

Another gem I saw in a Cadillac was 1978's "Superman," with Marlin Brando & Gene Hackman.  Like The Wall, Superman played at the same drive-in, and my parents took me to see it in our 77' DeVille.  Those were the days before FM simulcasting, so the film's muffled audio had a Darth Vader quality as it played from a corded, clip-on speaker that hung in the window like a carhop's tray of burgers.  Superman was awesome.  It was a masterpiece of the days before CGI.  I actually rewatched the movie later Tuesday night, and I was delighted with how clever the special effects people had been, especially with their use of fuzzy backgrounds & gauze filters to hide the fact that Christopher Reeve was obviously flying with Peter Pan strings - as he soared through the sky in his cape & wheelchair.  (He only looked *wobbly* once, during his very first takeoff within the Fortress of Solitude.)  It was fun to watch how the director distracted us from baby Soup's cheap-looking 🚀star-rocket🚀 by bright bursts of color and unexpected splays of cosmic sparkly-things.  (Also, quick note: the film is PACKED with wonderful Superman cliches.  Especially the as-fast-as-a-speeding-bullet-RUN!-RUN!-RUN!-scene, where Clark literally outruns a train!)  I particularly enjoyed how well-edited the "helicopter crash" scene is: if you watch carefully, the whole thing takes place in just under four minutes ... but in that short time, firetrucks arrive, police screech to a stop, and the local media *just happened* to have microwave trucks parked around the corner, ready to do live, on-the-spot interviews with a crowd of 300 people that had suddenly formed in front of the Daily Planet - all while Lois's pillbox hat gently flutters down in front of Clark Kent, like a feather.  (Standing to CLAP again.)  My original experience seeing the movie (in 78') involved getting to the drive-in early, then playing on the swing sets just below the outdoor screen - while Father got food from the snack stand.  Yeah, drive-ins were quickly-fading relics from my parents' era, but they were still around in the seventies - and I'm glad to have gotten to enjoy them.   The John Williams score on the other hand, on a cheap AM radio-box, not so much.
Picture"The problem's plain to see; too much technology..."
People have forgotten what life was like in the days before the internet.  Specifically, today's youth hasn't a clue how much fun it was to go to "live performance" things, like Rocky Horror at midnight, cosmic bowling nights, or weekend bonfires in rural Illinois.  When I was in my twenties, bars were more common than they are today; with no smartphone Grindr apps, we had to get dressed up and actually go somewhere.  Everybody drank.  Everybody smoked.  Everybody seemed to travel in packs, piling into Daddy's midlife crisis car (typically a Trans Am) and peeling into the night with the T-top in the trunk, as Roxette's "Joyride" played in the cassette deck.  Concerts were really big in Central Illinois, and I remember the night that STYX came to Springfield's Prairie Capitol Convention Center to perform their 1983 album: Killroy Was Here.  Like the brazen stereotypes in Pink Floyd's "The Wall," Mr. Roboto was filled with deliciously-offensive slanty-eyed, bucky-toothed, Charlie-Chan-y Japanese people, back in the day when everybody feared that James Clavell's "Nobel House" (starring Remington Steele's Pierce Brosnon in the miniseries) was about to overtake Ronald Regan's America.  But again, what was different back then was that we got off our ASSES and did things with each other, even if it was just going to the mall.  On weekdays after high school, everyone immediately ran from the bus to the phone, and made plans to socialize in person.  We'd even watch television together, on the big prime-time nights when DALLAS ruled our Fridays, or watching sitcoms while doing homework - as our mothers desperately tried to make frozen pizzas edible by piling on extra cheese.  And of course there were the school events, the proms, the homecomings, the painful field trips to dusty, local museums.  For me, I did a lot of theater - at least until my memory issues caused me to forget my lines.  I also bowled quite a bit - about the best I could manage, considering my high school social status - and the perfect outlet for the unpopular kids.  I was actually almost Prom King in 1987 (the geeks rigged the election), but because we got the math wrong, I missed the bucket of pig's blood by five votes.  Still, whether popular or not, we all tried to find something to do, and that meant spending time with each other.  And as I watched the waning rain drip off my rainbow flag Tuesday, I realized how much I missed that...
PictureBob has a "Moan-a Lisa" in his entry.
On the subject of doing things with real people, I'm attending my first Wednesday Night Trivia at some Boystown bar I've never heard of. Apparently, I'm a ringer.  And by that I mean, I love the show Schitt's Creek - and I know things like Moira's ridiculous outfits weren't "custom costumes," they were actual dresses made by real high-end fashion designers.  (Thanks, Huck.).  For those who don't know, Schitt's Creek seems to be the new "Absolutely Fabulous," and is basically what would happen if the Trumps' Jewish cousins had to RUN! RUN! RUN! from Manhattan to Green Acres.  The reason this is funny is not so much the contents of the show itself, but rather because my Trivia Team seems to be from Touche.  I'm not surprised, of course.  Even Leatherman have "needs" that can't be met by the clubroom's 2am Sunday rush - and that includes "culture."  And yes, I DO consider Schitt's Creek to be good, solid culture, even if it is a bit...*pop*.  I love pop culture.  My house is decorated in it.  

I've known one of my trivia buddies for over fifteen years now (He's "Bob" in the book, Touche), and I've been to his house several times.  Bob is a former cop, ex-dean, and he's basically a walking wall of muscle, with leather pants, boots, handcuffs on his chest harness - and graphic BDSM T-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination. (His eyes are in a perpetual state of rolling, btw.)  I'd seen photos of his rustic cabin at the club, so I kinda' figured that his house would look the same.  But when he opened the door on my very first visit, all I could do was gasp...

Here's the text I sent him the next day:

​(Yawn)
Morning -
I just woke up with a face full of CAT.

Before today's festivities, I wanted to drop a quick like to say thanks - I had a really nice time on Wed.  The food was good, the conversation was better, and your place was pretty impressive.

(Pause)

Actually, that's a complete & total lie.  Your home was fucking AMAZING.

And I don't mean just because it was nice, well-decorated, or expensive ... I mean, it was so intense, it was "chilling."  Literally.  Like a gloved hand over one's mouth, it literally took my breath away.  It didn't have hallways, it had "corridors."  It didn't have rooms, it had "chambers."  Like Studio 54, "there was always another door," and every room OOZED with layers of history, memories, and the ghosts of previous occupants.  I...was...intoxicated.

One little detail that I absolutely loved was the fact you'd chosen a 60s/70s "MOD" furniture set, in leather of course, but also in distressed brown, rather than black.  The juxtaposition of scruffy mid-century modern was perfectly paired with the tasteful restraint of the rest of the room's decor - a room that was not only the heart of the house, but also meant solely for conversation.  No television.  No stereo.  No distractions of any kind.  Even my iPhone on the table felt offensive.  Wow.  I mean, just ... wow.

You genuinely surprised me.  And few people are able to do that.

Chuckling - as a writer, I guess I'd judged the book by its cover.  But again, when I really think about it, nothing should have come as a surprise.  This man was as detail-oriented as me when I first met him; I just hadn't noticed.  In the days where I still called myself a "Bondage Top," Bob was the very first person to offer criticism on my ropework - which I needed to hear.  (He told me that I needed to invest in padded restraints - which I did immediately.)  Bob's one of many people I've only recently grown to appreciate in my life, and I'm looking forward to seeing him outside the club, and in a totally different element than in what I've grown familiar - in a LIVE situation, rather that the bar's fantasy world.
PictureJudging from the bondage in the center, I'm guessing this is YngMstrDetroit's new video.
The rain finally stopped as Tuesday morphed into Wednesday, and after Superman ended I still wasn't ready for bed, so I scrolled through On-Demand looking for something else.  I ended up on George Lucas's Radioland Murders from 1994, and I grabbed a new vape before settling back to watch another movie.  I love old-time radio in general, the sci-fi's in particular, and the comedic film does a nice job capturing the era of live, scripted AM broadcasting.  It's no secret that I'm a Talk Radio fan (Heavenly megadittos, Rush!), and I typically have music playing 24/7.  Radioland Murders tells the fictional story of a new Chicago radio station's disastrous opening night.  The screwball comedy is pop-culture masturbatory-material, especially for those familiar with the programs of Orson Welles' The War of the Worlds days. My all-time favorite radio drama is X-Minus-One's "A Pail of Air," a 1956 adaptation of Fritz Lieber's story from the December 51's Galaxy Magazine, which I have a bookmarked eBay search for. When I was a kid in the early 1970s, I used to listen to old-time radio in the dark while trying to sleep as my parents fought loudly in the kitchen.  Like the pre-CGI effects in Superman & The Wall, the producers of 1930s/40s radio were so so clever; I loved how they built a vivid audio atmosphere by simply tearing paper, dipping tuning forks into water, and mimicking horse trot by clip-clocking coconuts on gravel - while a stagehand held a boom-mike as close as possible.  Radioland Murders is full of moments like this.  Little details, little nuances, spit-out-your-coffee situations.  The movie's best catastrophe happens when two scripts get mixed, and a pair of biddies read competing stories - one, a cozy coffee-chat; and two, a brutally-violent Viking fight - while LIVE on the air. RUN! RUN! RUN! to commercial, and hope that Mae West hasn't drank so much bourbon, she slurs up her lines.  Ah, the days of Radio Days, complete with studio audiences, and a good ten years before the cough button!
Picture"That's the last time I mix Rexaulti, poppers, and boxed Chardonnay!"
The stars began to twinkle through the clouds around two in the morning, when I ultimately succumbed to my cat's sad eyes, and let him out into the night.  I popped my head out the screen door when I did this (I wanted to check for witches w/ruby slippers, of course), and I nodded to my praying neighbors, who were looking at me for some reason.  It made me think about how much Hispanic culture never forgot the importance of "social interaction" during good times & bad.  It reminded me of the world I used to remember, when we surrounded ourselves with friends & family - rather than social apps.

As I closed my door and went back to the couch, I killed the TV and put 🎶Dark Side of the Moon🎶on my Bose.  As the melancholy music filled the darkness, I settled back into the throw pillows, pulled up an afghan, and folded my hands across my chest.  As Pink Floyd began Breathe (In The Air), I was reminded of the Robert Frost quote: "Good fences make good neighbors."  I thought about how much my own neighbors have changed over the years, and how they finally treat me like a person, rather than the maricon with the nice hedge wall.

The walls that separate our lives from each other are very easy to take down. We just need to set aside our phones for a bit, and drink in the beauty that already surrounds us - as in our faces as an unexpected thunderstorm.  I genuinely believe that when these things happen, it's done because God wants our attention - and to remind us of the importance of actually talking - and *listening* - to each other.  We have free will of course, so it's our choice whether or not we hear him, but as a man who's never forgotten the past, I feel it's important that we do ...

Because you see, if we listen closely, once the storm subsides, we'll hear the little details - like a cat exploring the early-morning lawn, as the few remaining raindrops run, run, run down it paws. 💧💧💧

And that was the very last thing on my mind, when I closed my eyes and finally went to sleep - as the morning sun made a prism on the dark side of my rainbow flag. 🏳️‍🌈
- Sir Dave
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