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Comments on Franco/Rogen's "The Interview"

12/25/2014

"The Interview" VOD...a Christmas miracle!

After celebrating Christmas Eve last night with the folks, I've locked the doors, closed the drapes, and turned off every light but the tree. Having enduring my 12th consecutive bookstore holiday season, today - for me - is no less than absolutely perfect: Christmas alone...in my fortress of solitude. Sure, that might sound tragic for most normal people, but for a guy with social anxiety (who had been swatting at holiday shoppers like mosquitos), a day to myself is the best Christmas gift ever. Just me, coffee, my cat, and computer. And a rib roast in the oven. And both roommates gone, in jail & rehab respectively. And best of all, Sony's The Interview is finally available to watch. It I wasn't an agnostic, I'd feel like a goddamn character within a Karen Carpenter Christmas song. "Merry Christmas, darling. Happy New Year toooooooooooooo ... "

Giving Kim Jong-Un the Finger

After six months of following the film's growing controversy, I was pleased to get up this morning and watch The Interview VOD on my computer. Sure, I would have preferred to attend a theater on opening day, but that wasn't an option in the far western burbs - and again, I'm being a hermit today. But I mention a crowd because I suspect that The Interview is a film best enjoyed with one. The movie's filthy humor - stank dicks, ass-missles, sharting on live TV - is clearly geared towards an audience that will laugh at any/all jokes involving a humid orafice. Having read early reviews of the film, I'd suspected jabs about "quality" were just reviewers' ass-covering, in case the GOP was eyeing their emails as well. But post-premiere reviews were right. The Interview has the same chance of winning an Oscar as Madea Visits Ferguson or a pro-Sarah Palin bioepic. As an avid Franco/Rogen follower myself, I liked this movie in the same way I enjoyed Eyes Wide Shut as a Kubrik fan. But despite his impressive body of work, Kubrik's last film was a "C+" at best - because of sloppy storytelling. And as much as it pains me to say this, The Interview just hits the C+ mark as well, missing its chance to be a very strong comedy. And that's really a shame because the crisis in North Korea is anything but...and a strong film would have stood its own, hackers or not.

From my very first blog after reading Escape From Camp 14, I've supported ALL projects that call American's attention to North Korea's humanitarian crisis. The death camps. The sickening, nation-wide brainwashing. The rapes, forced abortions. Torture far worse than post 9/11 waterboarding. And all happening now, in a volatile, nuclear-armed country that will collapse - and will intentionally take out many other countries with it. That's why I've anticipated The Interview so much. I had hoped that Franco/Rogen's fan base would become our country's hip DPRK critics, calling for UN action with the fervor of MTV's "Rock the Vote." But in order for that to happen, The Interview needed to use its stars more maturely than in previous films. It needed to grow up. It needed to show intelligence. But that didn't happen. And by the time Rogen shoved a missile-tip up his ass, it was clear that it wasn't going to even come close.

That being said, I'm not going to be Roger Ebert here and analyze point-by-point where and why the movie failed. But I will offer some bullet points on the things that bugged me:

Kim's part of my Christmas tree!

Franco's character was such a douchebag, when he needed to be serious, nothing he said was believable.
Just like A Million Ways to Die in the West, The Interview had waaaaaay too many shit, dick, and sex jokes. Not only did this cheapen the subject matter, it came across as bad writing - which distracted the viewer from the story. The whole script needed a better editing job.
Pyongyang - the regime's showplace capitol - wasn't effectively shown. The city's chilling Orwellian appearance - Soviet architecture, impersonal boulevards, paranoid citizens - shows how North Korea's angry/militarized culture remains trapped 60 years in the past...and has become a danger to the present.
Speaking of the military, only a "hint" of the country's massive army was shown. The DPRK has a "military first" culture...and by not exploring that fact, The Interview's jokes about starvation & empty grocery stores completely missed the mark.
North Korea's power never went out...which was probably the single most unrealistic thing about the movie.

But I wasn't unhappy with all of it. Parts of the film were really funny (in a Rogen/Franco way). The one place where The Interview totally succeeded was it's presentation of Kim Jong-Un as an insecure despot. The movie's trailers covered this a little - North Koreans think of Kim as a God who doesn't even poop - but Randall Park's portrayal of Un was pretty damn close to perfect, and I suspect that Park is the real reason Pyongyang feared The Interview's release.

Park presented the dictator in a way that managed to survive all the lowbrow humor - portraying Kim Jong-Un as just another guy...or, anything BUT a God. Seeing Kim Jong-Un "gushing" over Franco was hysterical. Watching his boobs bounce while playing basketball made a strong statement about his country's hunger. And witnessing Kim drive an antique tank (like a child playing a game at Chuck E. Cheese) effectively showed him to be out of touch - both in his own country and the modern world. Sure, humanizing such an evil man might be seen as a mistake, but THAT'S the image North Koreans need to see to counter his personal propaganda: Kim, the man-child. Kim, the overfed. Kim, the tyrant. Kim, the cartoon figure. And most importantly, Kim the ridiculous figurehead of a ridiculous dynasty. Forget Seoul balloons that parody Kim as a pig. What North Koreans really need to see is Kim behind the scenes, indecisive at times, and surrounded by corruption.

To my knowledge, The Interview is the first film ever to call North Korea out on it's government's silliness...and it's ass-backwards way of fighting the encroaching modern world. God-inspired kings who killed their people at will started becoming extinct over two centuries ago, and the Kim dictatorship is the last surviving genuinely "evil" country on this planet. With the exception of tiny pockets like North Korea, almost every country in the world is "catching up" to each other. New energies, technologies, and interconnected computer systems are all working together to equalize our standards of living - and that includes improving human rights and personal freedom for all.

This all ties in with my thoughts on Earth eventually joining a larger "galactic community," and how it's only just a matter of time before our planet becomes united - and real space exploration can begin. But humanity won't get to that point until we irradiate a few bumps of our planet's skin cancer - and I think that as long as the Kims are in power, North Korea is a tumor that's about to metastasize. And if The Interview helps call the world's attention to a very touch decision that must be made, well, I guess stranger things have happened. Just like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, sometimes a lousy movie can carry a message for years to come -

Sweet transvestite, indeed.

2 Comments

The (Dear Leader's) Son Will Come Out, Tomorrow...

12/14/2014

5 Comments

Randall Park as Kim Jong-Un.

Back in June I wrote a blog about "The Interview," the new Seth Rogen/James Franco movie. By now you know that I follow North Korea (news) daily - and that The Interview is a comedy about assassinating Kim Jong-Un.
Chuckling...I'll admit that assassination-comedies aren't the most tasteful fodder, but the movie looks pretty funny - like wacky NAZIs in Hogan's Heroes, or Mel Brooks' dancing Hitler in The Producers. I justify it this way: North Korea is a humanitarian catastrophe, and any movie that draws attention to the plight of its people is a good thing. Even when the Freaks & Geeks are driving tanks through Pyongyang.

Last week news was broken that Sony Pictures got hacked. Servers were damaged, sensitive document/emails made public, and at least three major upcoming movies were downloaded to torrent sites - basically, made available for free - including the remake of Annie. The Sony cyber attack came from the same place as 2013's South Korean incident that damaged Seoul's banking system, down to malware written in Korean. As Sony owns The Interview, it became pretty obvious that North Korea launched the cyber attack as retaliation for mocking their Dearest Leader. Having watched all the trailers, I'm not sure why the DPRK is so pissed. I mean, Randall Park has far less back fat than the real Kim Jong-Un.

But what the Sony attack really revealed (aside from Janet Napolitano's inability to prevent it) is the vast "insecurity" that permeates North Korean society. Its people are humorless, unable to laugh at themselves - and the concept of self depreciating humor is as foreign a concept as freedom. Every person in its society seems to be trapped in routine like a Polygamist sister-wife. Everyone has minders, every person is being observed by an organized system of neighborhood watch on steroids. Like Orwell's 1984, the only way to survive such repression is to censor every thought that comes out of your mouth - every comment, every question, every pleasantry to passerby. The resulting social anxiety creates an entire country unable to take a joke. And gags about their Great Leader's bowel movements are taken with more offense than the latest round of South Korean war games. Whew - just imagine if Joan Rivers were still alive!

The U.S. On the other hand, revels in news that makes fun of itself. From the moment Sony Pictures was hacked, sites like Gawker made every leaked studio document into headline news. James Franco & Seth Rogen opened SNL with a hacker-mocking monologue, and rather than pulling The Interview, Sony is riding the publicity. Drudge kept Sony as the prominent headline for a good solid week, before moving the story to the columns below. And with each passing day, the leaked documents grow more vulgar...from Angelina Jolie being a bratty diva to Amy Pascal's true feelings about Obama...(gulp). After years of shameless Conservative-bashing, who knew that the LIBERALS were the racists all along? Sony had better send a big Paula Deen apology cake to the White House, before Louis Lerner's replacement releases the IRS hounds on the studio.

I have to admit that I'm a bit torn about the Sony hack. Part of me is furious that another country would attack us like this - and I'm livid that the Obama administration hasn't yet responded. In this modern age, cyber-attacks can be as devastating as artillery. If a tiny nation's tantrum can halt a major studio's operations with a few keystrokes 4,000 miles away, then think of the damage that a legitimate power might cause...say, a Russia or China with real military/economic threat? North Korea may have thrown a snowball, but imagine if Beijing disabled our power grid, then followed with an assault on Hawaii (while Russia overtook Alaska)? Sure, it sounds unlikely - but so did a terrorist attack before September 11th. China's rising, Russia's rebuilding, and the United States is on the verge of depression if creditors call in our national debt. I suppose that with the global economy, attacking the U.S. would result in mutually assured financial destruction for a large aggressor, but what about some little pissed-off ISIS militia or the next generation of Al Qaeda Online? If a hotel suite full of Kim Jong-Un'ions was savvy enough to give AJ the chicken-pox, just imagine the pain in our asses inserted by Iran, should Alla offers his own holy-hackers 70 virgins for disrupting the flow goods & services within the U.S. mainland. It could happen. And it could happen very easily.

So, Seth Rogen appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone this week - proudly proclaiming his status as a stoner. The cover was timely and I give the magazine credit for being the only periodical that featured (sort of) the Sony story on the stands. (BTW, I have no problem with pot smokers; I honestly believe that marijuana should be legalized. And many articles I've seen on North Korea claim that pot is abundant in the country - along with crystal meth). I read the Rogen article on my lunch break. It was the typical Rolling Stone puff piece, vapid & liberal, gushing over one of their own while downplaying the horrors of the DPRK. "At least it's not as offensive as their Mitch Romney articles," I thought, setting the magazine aside and reaching for my iPad. I pulled up the latest Sony stories, and learned that the cyber attack had continued. THE DRUDGE REPORT headline: "HOLLYWOOD HORROR: HACKERS PROMISE CHRISTMAS GIFT." One of the bylines called Amy Pascal's emails, "The Gift That Keeps on Giving." Just like Herpes. Or the doc who gives Nancy Pelosi botox.

"I wonder if Pyongyang can admit the irony to itself," I went on to think. "Considering how many threatening movies have been released by North Korea? That spaceship orbiting the Earth in particular, with 'We Are the World' in MUZAK in the background? The United States being depicted in flames - with footage stolen from our own action films?" Maybe that's the real reason Pyongyang is so pissed by The Interview. Even Sony's comedic films have better special effects. Once again, it's okay for Americans to voice "outrage" over events in the DPRK. But when we DARE not to take Kim Jong-Un as seriously as other world leaders, well... If our Red Star missiles not quite ready to reach Las Angeles yet, maybe we utilize Red Dragon Restaurant's WiFi, comrade. Greetings from North Korea via Beijing, American-Imperialists! Fortune cookie say Leonardo DiCaprio "despicable." It's his fault Titanic sink! It's his fault that only Dearest Leader can understand what "Inception" was all about!

Personally, when The Interview hits the theaters on December 25th, I hope that Sony also releases a Korean dub of the film - both on the internet, as well as in balloons near Paju & Gimpo.

BTW, here's my latest book recommendation on North Korea. It's called, "Without You, There is No US: My Time With the Sons of North Korea's Elite," by Suki Kim. Google the author's name. Her book has caused a stir in literary circles, and many of her interviews have been posted on YouTube. Her story is incredible - she taught for a year in a foreign-sponsored college in Pyongyang - and once that year was over, she was banned from North Korea for life.

It's a great book to curl up with on Christmas evening, after a matinee of The Interview!

UPDATE 12/18/2014:

I'm extremely disappointed that Sony pulled The Interview for Christmas; I was planning to see it, and I regret it isn't available. Sony's decision - despite it's cyber-hacks - sends a very, very bad message for everyone involved (especially movie viewers). I understand the concern about Aurora Colorado attacks during the film - fat Kim Jong-Un lookalikes, entering the theaters with guns. But leaked racist emails aside, North Korea hasn't the ability to physically threaten our homeland. And the film, The Interview, despite its tacky tone is just the latest step in informing the USA (and the world) of the horrific isolation that North Koreans endure - in addition to their repression, and the threat of three-generation labor camps. I applaud Sony for choosing to make this picture, but I'm genuinely disgusted for their lack of support. Sure, the leaked emails are embarrassing (and hypocritical), but as a gay Republican, is anyone surprised? Perhaps this is a lesson for liberal-Hollywood, but it ISN'T a time to retreat to political correctness.

Sony, please release this film on-demand, on Christmas day.

Don't be ashamed by your racism...because it comes as no surprise to us.

5 Comments

Americathon

12/7/2014

2 Comments

Is that "Ascension" from the SyFy Channel?

I had just gotten out of the shower on Friday when I heard the "whoosh" that precedes breaking news on Fox. I wiped off the mirror, then wiped off the screen of my iPad below it. I'd been listening to the headline news stream when NASA interrupted: "T minus 90 seconds until the launch of Orion." I dried my pits, ass, and balls while I watched. The rocket took off without a hitch, and the view from its capsule-mounted cameras were breathtaking. In just over two minutes, the ground was replaced by a Gravity-view of the stratosphere; the Earth was round & blue, as clear as in a movie. And just like my face in the mirror, the image on the screen was breathtaking.

Sadly though, Orion's launch was overshadowed by other troubling stories. As I shaved my head & neck, I heard reports about NASA's lack of funding, China's rise to the world's largest economy, Russia's return to Cold War behavior, North Korea's hacking Sony's servers, and worst of all, the USA's horrific national debt. And I say "worst" because of this week, America now owes over 18 trillion dollars, and nobody seems even the least bit concerned - aside from the usual threats of a government shutdown. "Eighteen TRILLION dollars?" I thought, trying to fathom such a huge amount of money. To put that debt into perspective, imagine earning 30 thousand dollars a year, but owing $350,000 in credit cards...and having to make the minimum payments, before paying your mortgage...and food, utilities, and gas. We pay over 400 billion dollars a year in interest - money totally wasted. And like Orion, the debt has rocketed high up towards the stratosphere, doubling under the Obama administration - but obviously not one of Al Sharpton's concerns. Our society would rather protest police doing their jobs (closing down bridges while people come home from their own). Chuckling...how about protesting a President who'd already have been impeached had he been a Republican? Any takers? Mr. Sharpton? YO...Al! Tapping the microphone and speaking in my best Peg Bundy voice: "AAAAAAAAAAAAL....?"

Tic, Tic, Tic, Tic.........BOOM!

The national debt terrifies me, and I just don't understand why people don't take it as seriously as managing their personal finances. What's happening with our debt reminds me of the housing bust a few years back. In just a few short months, homes like mine lost 50% of their value - and many neighbors couldn't pay their debts. Mortgages, second mortgages, home equity lines of credit used as ATM cards all came due at once - alongside "real" credit cards, car payments, grocery bills...and McMansion utilities. People lost everything, and entire neighborhoods became as vacant as Detroit. I was lucky enough to escape the Phoenix collapse in 2006, but the Chicago collapse caught up to me two years later - and my present home, after a loan modification, is currently worth 40% less than what I paid for it. And I'm one of the lucky ones on the street. When I tried to sell in 2009, there were so many foreclosures within nearby city blocks, my property was unsellable. Adding insult to injury, aside from being stuck in my own house, I also had to contend with distressed neighborhood properties that brought values down even further. And it all happened because homeowners' debt had grown so big, default was the only option. Think about THAT while Christmas shopping this year.

WHY don't people understand the gravity of national debt? I personally believe that it's because we're so distracted by social problems - grand jury protests most recently. I'll admit there are pockets of racism in some communities - blind hatred of blacks, Latinos, Middle-Easterners, and others - but I've never felt that our "country" was racist until these past six years of the Obama presidency. Obama may have campaigned on hope, but he has proven to be anything but a uniter. His actions have encouraged the ignorant/extreme to lash out, tearing apart communities and attracting self-serving charlatans. And add to that the congressional agenda of entitlements, we've become so immersed in ourselves, we've neglected to take care of the thing that matters most: keeping The United States united. Being united isn't a solitary pursuit. It will require all of us, regardless of color...and we need to get over this false racism shit. False racism is one of many dangerous issues distracting us from the inevitable debt crisis. And the national debt is a crisis.

Projects like Orion will be the first to go once the national debt overtakes our economy. NASA is inspiring, and it's hard not to get butterflies when our rockets get launched into space, but when we can no longer pay our debt's interest payments, luxuries like space travel will disappear immediately. Not only will we lose our edge in the space race, we'll lose a major source of national pride. Our news will be filled with stories of recession, while China, Russia, and all the America-haters revel in our karma - a situation we could have avoided. Reckless spending on government programs is no different than maxing out credit cards, destroying a debt-to-income ratio. This madness has to stop. We must start repaying our debt now...otherwise, we'll end up in that God-awful 1970s film Americathon.

Does anyone else feel strongly about this?

2 Comments

Comments on Franco/Rogen's "The Interview"

The (Dear Leader's) Son Will Come Out, Tomorrow...

Americathon

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