Houseflies are disgusting in any situation, but their presence is downright abhorrent in the kitchen when I'm cooking. As far as I'm concerned, EVERY fly that makes it into my house has just flown in after eating a pile of dog shit. I'm always reminded of that fly in the movies…not the one from Vincent Price's/Jeff Goldblum's films, but the buzzing paparazzi-puppet from Peter Jackson's Meet the Feebles. If you haven't seen the picture, be warned: Jackson's puppet-fly literally eats fresh poop with a spoon from another character's toilet. Delicious!
That being said, I was cooking dinner tonight, and I forgot one of the cardinal rules when living in an old house: NEVER cook fish inside the house in the summer. When the place is sealed for July/August's air conditioning, cooking anything with a strong smell acts like insect-catnip…and tonight's talapia stir-fry was a fragrant as it was healthy. By the time dinner was done however, there were a good THIRTY flies buzzing around my kitchen, dining and living rooms. It was like they'd materialized from the air itself, and I was disgusted.
There were far to many bugs to swat, and with food (covered) on the counter, I didn't dare use spray. So I got my vacuum cleaner - and then walked from room to room, window to window, sucking the critters from sills, glass, and even the air. I was surprised at how slow they were. You'd think they'd have reacted when they saw the approaching extension wand. But they didn't, and they sounded like gravel as their tiny little bodies bounced through the vacuum's hose.
I had won, and my home was now fly-free.
There were far to many bugs to swat, and with food (covered) on the counter, I didn't dare use spray. So I got my vacuum cleaner - and then walked from room to room, window to window, sucking the critters from sills, glass, and even the air. I was surprised at how slow they were. You'd think they'd have reacted when they saw the approaching extension wand. But they didn't, and they sounded like gravel as their tiny little bodies bounced through the vacuum's hose.
I had won, and my home was now fly-free.
I don't know what came over me, but I suppose it was the same curiosity that makes us "look" after we blow our nose. I wanted to see just how many flies I'd caught, and as my vacuum is a bagless model, it was easy to do. I unlocked the canister and pulled out the dust bin. I was expecting to find critters whose bodies had been destroyed by a dirt-tornado. And though I did see the flies, I was surprised to find that they weren't dead -
They were just angry.
The flies flew out of the canister so fast, several hit my face. My kitchen became the set of The Amityville Horror within seconds, and I laughed at my stupidity. I ran for cover as dust-covered bugs came at me like Kamikazes.
And when I returned a few moments later, I had a can of RAID in my hand after all.
They were just angry.
The flies flew out of the canister so fast, several hit my face. My kitchen became the set of The Amityville Horror within seconds, and I laughed at my stupidity. I ran for cover as dust-covered bugs came at me like Kamikazes.
And when I returned a few moments later, I had a can of RAID in my hand after all.
