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How NOT to be Sexually Attractive in a Retail Store

4/3/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
"Do you think that your wife would find you sexually attractive Right now, Sir?"

It always amazes me when I'm shopping in a retail store, and I see a grown man raise a stink about a minor policy issue.  Let me repeat that: a GROWN MAN shouting at the clerk, as though the employee had just spat on his kid - or copped a feel of customer's daughter. And its usually something to do with a return: 

"It's not MY fault!" the customer whines.  "How was I supposed to know about your return policy?  Did you expect me to read the receipt?"  I chuckle as I watch these alpha-dudes rattle on and on at Target or Penny's, especially when they never consider about how they actually appear to female onlookers...or to the gay men who are standing right in front of them.  I often wonder why observers are thinking:

"You're such a STUD, the way you belittled that clerk!"
"When you threatened to call corporate, it made me HARD!"  (Or wet, if you're a girl.)
"(Cough, cough!). Sir, please I can't BREATHE through your billowing clouds of testosterone!"


When a female manager takes a complaint like this, just once I'd like to see her clear the counter with a sweep of an arm, mount the surface, spread her legs and scream, "TAKE ME, TAKE ME, TAKE ME!" ...especially if the dude's in the store with his girlfriend or family.  "I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!"

If I were the Wal Mart MOD when that happened, I'd totally give the guy a refund.
1 Comment
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