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So, I'm standing at the top of the stairs, staring at the ceiling light's reflection in the growing pool of water on the basement floor. A pipe had burst, not surprising considering the laundry room thermometer read 42 this morning, and it looked like Murphy's Law would be getting a pass today - in leu of the polarrrrrrrrrr vorrrrrrrrtex.
My house is 115 years old this year, and as the basement is unpredictable, I've learned to keep everything in Big Rubbermaid totes. I get water in the spring, bugs in the fall, and occasionally birds who fly down the chimney. I'm pretty much prepared for anything that might happen to the property - and that includes stored food & water in case of martial law.
My house is 115 years old this year, and as the basement is unpredictable, I've learned to keep everything in Big Rubbermaid totes. I get water in the spring, bugs in the fall, and occasionally birds who fly down the chimney. I'm pretty much prepared for anything that might happen to the property - and that includes stored food & water in case of martial law.
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It's important to note that I'm not a survivalist, nor am I paranoid - or preparing for some type of government collapse. The world we live in is an increasingly dangerous place, and I believe within the next few years, we'll be hit with some type of "event" that temporarily disrupts the flow of goods and information - and for that it would be irresponsible to not prepare. I haven't gone shopping at the Patriot Pantry yet, but I have set aside enough canned goods & bottled water to camp inside the house for a few weeks. I don't own a gun, but I do have a big bat and a drawer full of kitchen knives. I've got basic first aid supplies, a hand-crank radio that can also recharge my phone, and several extra bottles of bleach. I'm as ready as I can be, I guess...assuming that civil defense works better than the Obamacare website.
But if Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that there are far worse disasters than dirty bombs or blackouts. Weaponized viruses are pretty high up there, and according to Michael Crichton's The Andromeda Strain, we could always accidentally bring back something biological from space. Terrorists have WMDs, and that includes nukes; personally - in the event of a nuclear attack - all I need is a good 10 minutes to make it to the liquor store. Again, I'm preparing realistically.
That being said, I'm totally screwed in the event of a zombie attack. I have no shotgun, I have no crossbow, and I have no patience whatsoever for anyone with bad hygiene. If the utilities go out, I fully understand that hot showers go away with them, but if you've prepared like me you'll still have enough water to wash your face, pits, and ass. And I'll also add that deodorant doesn't go bad like milk in the refrigerator.
Zombies - more than any other disruptive civil event - will be extremely difficult to guys like me who vacuum our way out of the house in the morning. Sure, zombies are deadly, but they're also very messy...and they leave in their path not only a trail of victims, but a greasy brown smear of rotting DNA...from spoiled flesh to discarded bones. Like many Americans, I enjoy The Walking Dead on AMC. I watch it because I like "human dramas," slow, winding tales like Battlestar Galactica - stories that focus on human survival, set against calamity. The Walking Dead explores the zombie phonomea to its stomach-churning fullest, especially when it comes to the stink of unrefrigerated meat. But even more importantly, TWD shows how quickly tidiness turns to squalor; in any given zombie story, the moment the undead hit the streets, the survivors replace their curtains with rags - and trade in new cars for weathered 1970s RVs.
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I totally get that supplies must be rationed, but do we really have to ration clean clothes as well? I suspect that most of us have more than one shirt in our closet, and once it gets stained with blood, slime & eye-juice, wouldn't most of us put on a fresh one? Even if it's not ironed? And if you've just had to kill your spouse with a screwdriver, wouldn't it make you feel better to wipe the red splatter off the wall? Clean off the upholstery? Throw out the carpet?
I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point. The next time Linda Cobb writes a book, I really hope she includes a few chapters on survivalist-cleanliness.
I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point. The next time Linda Cobb writes a book, I really hope she includes a few chapters on survivalist-cleanliness.
Again, when it comes to civilization-ending catastrophes, I'd prefer something atomic, non-zombie viral, or rays coming from flying saucers that somehow think Aurora, IL is important. I want a disaster that I can experience from my house - with the dishes done, the beds made, and windows darkened with drapes & blinds, rather than oily rags.
It's funny how a little water in the basement can made you understand what's truly important in life...and death.
It's funny how a little water in the basement can made you understand what's truly important in life...and death.